Category: Resources

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If I asked you, “What is child support?” what would you say? Something like, “It’s when one parent gives the other parent money for the kids after they’re divorced?” And if I followed up by asking, “What is child support used for?” would you say, “Um… their expenses?”

Even though child support impacts more than 60% of all divorces in the United States, there so much confusion around the subject. If you have children, it’s crucial that child support be addressed carefully and thoroughly at the time of your divorce, because it can have a significant impact on their lives now and for many years to come.

In my experience, learning the basics of issues that pertain to an individual’s divorce before starting the process can help them better work with their spouse (and chosen divorce professional) to resolve them. So, in this post, you’ll learn the fundamentals of child support, some options for negotiating it, and what you can do to prevent your children from becoming economic victims of your divorce.

Let’s dive in!

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What is child support?

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Simply stated, child support is financial support both parents provide to their children post-divorce, for the children’s expenses. Unlike alimony, which is financial support provided by one ex-spouse to the other, for the recipient adult’s expenses.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]How does child support work? What is child support used for? And what does child support cover?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

“What’s in and what’s out of child support” varies based on the state you live in. But in my experience, there are 4 types of expenses parents encounter when raising kids:

• Ordinary expenses – including housing, food, utilities, etc.
• Extraordinary expenses – including summer camp, child care, extracurricular activities, etc.
• Medical expenses – including health insurance premiums, deductibles, co-pays, and other out-of-pocket medical expenditures
• Post-secondary education expenses – including tuition, room, and board, books, transportation to and from school, and any costs associated with preparing for, or enrolling in, college or other post-secondary education such as trade schools

How you negotiate and come to an agreement on each type of expense – and how long you’re expected to pay them – can vary from state-to-state and divorcing couple to divorcing couple.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Who pays child support?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There’s a common misconception that only one parent pays child support. Since one parent writes a check, it may seem like there is only one paying parent. But that check is only meant to cover a portion of the child or children’s ordinary expenses. The recipient parent is also expected to contribute a portion of those expenses. The three other types of expenses are typically negotiated separately and are also shared by the parties.

So, the reality is both parents pay child support!

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]When does child support end?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When child support ends varies from state to state and couple to couple (based on something negotiated.) But generally speaking:

• The payment of ordinary expenses typically ends upon the graduation from high school of a minor child.
• The payment of extraordinary expenses commonly ends upon emancipation.
• The payment of medical expenses typically ends when a child is able to procure their own health insurance, or age 26, whichever occurs first.
• The payment of college expenses normally ends after four consecutive years of attendance.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]How is child support decided in a divorce?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There are two ways child support (and all other divorce-related issues) can be resolved: you and your spouse can negotiate, or a family law court will decide for you. When it comes to child support, every couple’s situation and determining factors are unique. Unfortunately, when the court dictates a child support order, you never know how they will decide it. So, you could wind up with an outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your children’s financial needs.

The good news is you have a lot of flexibility and can maintain a lot of control if you settle out of court.

It’s common (and normal) for divorcing spouses to have different points of view on child custody, alimony, division of property, and/or child support. But even if you have disagreements, it doesn’t mean you have to go in front of a judge to get those issues resolved. Not all divorces have to go to family court. In fact, resolving disputes out of court saves you a lot of money and time. It can also help you avoid or lessen a lot of the negative emotional impact that contested divorce cases can have on you and your kids.

When it comes to child support, every couple’s situation is unique.

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scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]How is child support calculated?[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

In the United States, there are three ways guideline child support is calculated.

They are:

• The Income Shares model
• The Percentage of Obligor’s Income model
• The Melson formula

Which method you use depends on the state in which you live.

Let’s take a high-level look at each of the three models to understand how they work.

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Income Shares model:

• The income of both parents is added together.
• A basic child support obligation is determined from either a state-specific table or calculated as a percentage, based on the number of minor children.
• (optional) Parents can choose to add in other expenses such as the cost of children’s health insurance, or daycare.
• The child support award is prorated between the parents based on the ratio of their incomes to each other.

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Percentage of Income model:

• The income of the non-custodial parent is determined.
• Using guidance provided by the state, a percentage to apply to the income is determined based on the number of minor children or a flat percentage.
• A basic child support obligation is determined by applying the percentage from step two to the income from step one.
• (optional) Parents can choose to add in other expenses such as the cost of children’s health insurance, or daycare.

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The Melson formula:

The Melson Formula is a more complex version of the income shares model except this model tries to ensure that each parent’s basic needs are met, in addition to the children.

It’s far too complex to try and explain in a blog post, and since only 3 states currently use it, I’m not going to cover it in this post.

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Pros and cons of using a guideline to calculate child support payments

Pros:

• It’s Based on a repeatable formula. If two different couples entered the same information into the guideline, in theory, it would output the same child support award in both cases.
• It Removes the human element. This can be a good thing if you and your spouse have trouble agreeing.
• They are commonly used. Which may make you and/or your spouse more comfortable knowing others have used it to agree on a child support amount.
• They are state-specific. You may be happy to know thought was given to what it costs to raise a child in the state where you live.

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Cons:

• They may not however, account for where you live within the state. If you live in Chicago or New York City, you have a much higher cost of living than parents who live in the suburbs or rural exurbs, which guidelines won’t usually account for.
• They may have an upper income limit. If your income exceeds the guideline “cap” you and your spouse will have to negotiate an additional amount of child support payment, based on income above the cap.
• They don’t work for parents with variable incomes. If you’re a commissioned salesperson, a police officer who works lots of overtime, or even someone who receives a bonus that varies year to year, the guidelines won’t work for you as designed.

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What if you and your spouse don’t want to use the child support guideline?

There is one other approach I’ve sometimes seen parents use and that’s budget-based.

In these cases, parents put together a budget of the children’s ordinary expenses and use that as a basis for determining a child support amount.

While this is technically possible, there are several things you need to be aware of when going this route:

• You’d better have a good reason for deviating from your state’s child support guidelines.
• Guidelines usually serve as a floor, so agreeing to an amount that’s lower than the one offered up by your state’s guideline may or may not be viewed favorably by the courts where you live.
• It may be difficult to determine how much a child’s expenses will be.

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How is child support determined for all other expenses?

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As you previously learned, there are three other types of child support expenses. And while some guidelines do allow limited inclusion of certain types of expenses, in my experience, parents usually choose to negotiate them directly.

For this to work, you need to discuss and come to an agreement on three things:

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1.) What’s in and what’s out?

It’s a good idea at the time of your divorce to decide what items you are both willing to share in moving forward.

Private school is a good example of this. Some parents I’ve worked with want their kids to go to a private school as they get older. While others feel that public school is just fine.

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2.) How will the unknown be handled?

Of course, there will be expenses that neither of you saw coming so you’ll want to agree on a framework for future discussions when these types of expenses crop up.

A good example of this is a sports camp. Your 2-year-old might not know a basketball from a basketweave. But 14 years from now, they may be the next WNBA/NBA all-star and want to get some specialized training.

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3.) Who pays how much?

Let’s say you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse have agreed on what’s in and what’s out of your child expense-sharing agreement. And how you’ll handle future expenses when they crop up.

Now, you need to decide what each of your shares of those expenses is going to be. Your choices are:

• Share equally
• Share in proportion to income
• Share in a fixed percentage
• Assign expenses to each party

Which option you choose will depend on a variety of tangible and intangible factors including, but not limited to, your income, how amicable your divorce is, and if you agree on what types of activities you’ll contribute to.

But before you decide which one you think is right for you, let’s look at the pros and cons of each:

Share equally:

• Pro: It’s simple to determine each party’s share.
• Con: This can lead to conflict if one parent can’t come up with their half.

Share in proportion to income:

• Pro: Each party pays a share based on what they earn.
• Con: Shares need to be continually calculated based on then-current incomes.

Share in a fixed percentage:

• Pro: You each know your share.
• Con: Your incomes could change and along with it, your original ratio.

Assign expenses to each party:

• Pro: Can reduce tension while allowing parents to each support activities they believe are worthwhile.
• Con: Children’s interests frequently change, leading to the possibility one parent may be solely responsible for all extraordinary expenses.

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Child support recap and conclusion:

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To say child support is a complicated issue would be an understatement! And there’s far more to child support than running a guideline formula, printing out a child support worksheet, and calling it a day. That’s because it’s not a one-size-fits-all subject – every couple’s children, circumstances, and situational complexities are unique.

But you will have the most control over settling the terms of child support (and all other divorce matters) by negotiating out-of-court.

That doesn’t mean you have to struggle to try to resolve your child support case on your own. In fact, for most divorcing parents, this topic is much too complex to resolve without professional help. By using an alternative dispute resolution process like mediation, you can increase the likelihood of reaching an out-of-court negotiated agreement you and your spouse both find acceptable and both had a hand in creating.

Hopefully, after reading this post, you have a better understanding of this confusing issue and feel better prepared to work with your spouse (and your chosen divorce professional) – to negotiate a mutually agreeable out of court child support arrangement that puts your kids first and ensures they grow up happy, healthy, and financially supported.

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State-specific divorce child support challenges:

• NJ Child Support
• California Child Support
• Illinois Child Support
• NY Child Support
• Washington State Child Support
• Child Support PA

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• Who gets the house in a divorce is not an easy question to answer.
• The answer depends on a number of factors including: whether it’s marital or separate property, what your child-custody arrangement looks like, and who can afford it.
• Because there’s no clear cut answer to the question, negotiation is the best way to resolve this critically important issue – and that’s what mediation is all about.

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As someone who watched my own parents battle through the courts over assets like the house I grew up in, I know firsthand how emotional and overwhelming the decision of who get the house in a divorce can be. But I also know, through my work as a mediator, that there’s a better way to handle this important choice – one that keeps you in control and helps you find solutions that work for everyone involved.

Your family residence isn’t just another item to check off your property distribution list. It’s where your children took their first steps, where you’ve celebrated countless holidays, and often represents your largest financial investment. Through mediation, you and your spouse can work together to create arrangements that honor both these precious memories and your practical needs for the future.

Let’s take a look at what you need to know to answer this question, and reach agreement on this critical piece of your divorce settlement.

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Understanding your state’s property division framework

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Before we dive into specific solutions and examples, let’s talk about how property division typically works. While state laws do provide a framework, the beauty of mediation is that it gives you and your spouse the flexibility to create solutions that work best for your unique situation. Think of these laws as a starting point for our conversations, not rigid rules that must dictate your decisions.

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Equitable distribution states

In states like New Jersey, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania, we work within a concept known as “fair and equitable distribution.” But “fair” doesn’t always mean “equal” when it comes to dividing your marital estate. This actually gives us more room in mediation to explore creative solutions that work for both of you.

For example, I recently worked with a couple where one spouse (the wife and primary caregiver, age 50) desperately wanted to keep their family home for the children’s stability. Through mediation, we found a way to balance this by having her trade a share of other marital assets of similar value by letting her spouse (the husband, age 63) keep his retirement accounts. The final property settlement worked beautifully for both parties because we focused on what mattered most to each of them.

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Community property states

Even in community property states like California and Washington, where the law typically aims for a 50-50 split of marital assets, you still have plenty of room for creativity in mediation to divide property fairly as you both see fit. While these states view property acquired during marriage as belonging equally to both spouses, you can be flexible about what your settlement ultimately looks like, even if it’s not 50-50.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]The role of attorneys, CPAs, and financial advisors[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

While mediation keeps you in control of decisions about your family residence, having the right professional support team can make a significant difference. Think of it this way: as your mediator, I help you and your spouse communicate and explore options, while these other professionals provide specialized expertise to support and execute your decisions.

For example, while in mediation we’ll take a deep dive into your monthly spending through a comprehensive budgeting exercise, examining what it costs to run the former marital home post-divorce, you may wish to work with a financial advisor to understand how different housing choices might affect your long-term financial stability. For example, would renting and taking the proceeds from sale and investing them, be a better option than keeping the home?

If you do decide to keep the house, an experienced attorneys can ensure the proper execution of your agreement, including preparing documents like a quitclaim deed to protect your legal rights and transfer the ownership of the home exclusive to one of you. And a CPA can help you understand tax implications of different arrangements, like property taxes or mortgage interest deductions, as well as if you’ll owe any capital gains on the sale when the day comes you no longer wish to live in the house.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Understanding marital property vs. separate property[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Let’s now talk about the difference between marital property and separate property when it comes to your home. Understanding this distinction helps us have more productive conversations about fair solutions.

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When your home is marital property

Most homes purchased during marriage become marital property, meaning both spouses have developed an interest in the property’s value. Even if only one spouse’s name appears on the deed, your shared contributions – both financial and non-financial – have likely enhanced the property’s worth. In mediation, we look at the whole picture to develop fair solutions for dividing this important asset regardless who owns it “on paper.”

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Understanding separate property claims

Sometimes, one spouse brings a home into the marriage as separate property. But the lines between separate and marital property often blur over time, especially when marital funds pay for mortgage payments or home improvements. Some states like California even have a special way of calculating the value of what the non-owning spouse contributed known as a Moore Marsden Calculation.

During our mediation sessions, we’ll carefully consider how shared contributions might have affected each spouse’s share of property rights and work to come to an agreement that meets the best interests of you and your spouse.

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Let’s talk about a practical reality that often influences housing decisions: your ability to handle ongoing mortgage payments and other expenses. Through mediation, we can develop financial plans that work not just today, but well into your future by examining what it truly takes for one of you to keep the house running after you go your separate ways.

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Evaluating current mortgage responsibilities

Together, we’ll look at your current mortgage structure and explore your options moving forward. I find that many couples discover solutions they hadn’t considered once we lay out all the possibilities – from loan assumption to refinancing that provides one spouse’s share of equity.

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Planning for future financial stability

Creating sustainable agreements means looking beyond just the mortgage payments. We’ll discuss all housing-related expenses – property taxes, maintenance costs, insurance, and other expenses – to ensure whoever keeps the house can manage it comfortably long-term. I’ve seen too many couples focus only on the mortgage, only to struggle with these other costs later. Hot water heaters and HVAC units seem to breakdown at the most inconvenient times and we’ll want to plan for that.

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Considering children’s needs

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When children are involved, decisions about the family home become even more nuanced. As someone who experienced my parents’ divorce as a teenager, I’m particularly sensitive to how housing decisions affect children’s well-being.

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Creating child-centered solutions

During our mediation sessions, we’ll carefully consider how different housing arrangements might affect your children’s daily lives. While the custodial parent’s housing needs are important, we work to find solutions that support both parents’ relationships with their children. If one of you remains in the home, while the other is sleeping on a friends couch, that’s certainly going to impact each of your relationships with the kids.

I’ve seen families develop some wonderfully creative arrangements through mediation. Some couples agree to a deferred sale until their children reach certain milestones. Others find ways to maintain the family home as a stable base while creating comfortable separate spaces for both parents in the form of a nesting plan.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Protecting both parties’ interests[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When one spouse keeps the family home, we need to think carefully about protecting everyone’s financial future. I’ve seen how unprotected interests can lead to problems down the road – something I witnessed in my own parents’ divorce. For example, my mother chose to keep the house and forgo her share of my father’s pension. Which meant she had to work until long after normal retirement age. Through mediation, we can develop comprehensive agreements that provide security and clarity for both of you so you can make decisions with both eyes wide open.

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Creating fair compensation arrangements

If one spouse will keep the home, we’ll explore various ways to ensure the other spouse’s share is protected. This might mean offsetting the home’s value against other marital assets, creating a structured buyout plan, or developing agreements about future sale proceeds. The key is finding an approach that feels fair to both of you and provides financial stability moving forward.

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Addressing future liability concerns

One thing I always emphasize in my mediations is the importance of clear agreements about ongoing financial responsibilities. If one spouse keeps the house, we’ll discuss options for removing the other spouse’s name from the mortgage through refinancing. If that’s not immediately possible, we’ll create strong protections until it can be accomplished. Remember – the bank doesn’t care you got divorced. They just want their money, and if both of your names are on the mortgage, both of you are going to get a call if a payment is past due.

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Home improvements and property value

In addition to the equity available in the home, we’ll also look at other factors such as how to account for those improvements you’ve made to your home over the years. Maybe one of you did significant renovation work and paid for all materials, or you both contributed to major upgrades. Understanding these contributions helps us develop fair approaches to dividing the increased value these improvements created. There’s more to determining each party’s fair share than simply taking the net proceeds from sale and dividing them.

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Deferred sale options

Sometimes, making an immediate decision about the family home isn’t what’s best for your family. Through mediation, we can explore deferred sale arrangements that give everyone time to adjust. For instance, I recently worked with a couple who agreed to allow the wife and children remain in the home post-divorce until their youngest child, a sophomore in high school, graduated. Then at that time, the wife could either refinance the home exclusively in her name and provide husband with his share of the equity, or the home would be sold and they would share the proceeds equally.

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Making co-ownership work

While many couples prefer a clean break and want to establish separate residences, others find that living together and co-owning the family home after divorce makes sense for their situation. I recently worked with a couple whose daughter was a freshman in high school and due to the the high-cost of living in their area, they decided to remain cohabitating until she graduated from high school. Sharing in all costs to own and operate the home equally. Upon the daughter’s graduation the home would be sold and they would share the proceeds with the wife retaining 60% and the husband, 40%.

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Outline the important details

If you’re considering either of these options, agreeing upfront to what will happen moving forward is key. In mediation, we’ll develop detailed agreements that make co-ownership manageable and help prevent future conflicts. This includes creating clear protocols for sharing expenses, making decisions about repairs, and planning for eventual sale or buyout. We can even include regular review periods to see if things are working as intended, or if a sale should be considered.

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Working with market conditions

The real estate market will influence your options, but through mediation, we can develop flexible agreements that work regardless of market conditions. I’ll help you create arrangements that protect both parties’ interests whether property values rise or fall, including provisions for sharing unusual appreciation or loss if the house sells within a certain timeframe.

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Whether keeping or leaving the family home, you both deserve the opportunity for a fresh start after divorce. In our mediation sessions, we’ll explore how different housing arrangements might support each of your goals for the future. This might include discussing how either spouse could build new credit histories, establish independent financial stability, or create new living spaces that support your post-divorce lifestyle.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Moving through difficult emotions[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

As someone who watched my own parents struggle with their divorce, I understand the deep emotional significance your family home carries. During mediation, we create a space where you can acknowledge these feelings while staying focused on practical solutions. I’ve found that when couples understand each other’s emotional connections to the home, they often become more flexible in exploring various options.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Building sustainable agreements[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

The best property settlements look beyond just today’s needs. Through mediation, we work to create agreements that can stand the test of time. We’ll consider how life changes might affect your housing arrangement and build in appropriate flexibility to address future circumstances – whether that’s a job change, remarriage, or retirement.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Moving forward with confidence[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Remember, deciding what happens to your house doesn’t have to become a source of conflict or courtroom drama. Through mediation, you and your spouse can work together to find solutions that serve everyone’s interests. While these discussions may feel challenging now, I’ve helped hundreds of couples successfully navigate this decision by staying focused on practical solutions and remaining open to creative possibilities.

The key is taking time to understand all your options while keeping communication productive and focused on solutions. Whether you ultimately decide to sell the house, arrange a buyout, or create some other arrangement, making this decision through mediation helps ensure that both parties’ needs are considered and respected.

[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_global id=”4115″][fusion_global id=”2082″]

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You and your spouse were partners. And during your marriage, worked hard to achieve your financial goals and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle.

But now that you’re facing the end of your marriage, you need to understand more about how are assets divided in a divorce and how who gets what is determined.

For many couples getting a divorce, splitting assets (and debt) is one of the most difficult issues to resolve because the general rule is to ensure everything is divided fairly. But what does that even mean?

To help you understand what you can do to protect your assets and make sure they don’t wind up wasted on a contested divorce in court or outrageous attorney fees, in this post we’ll cover:

• The differences between separate property and marital property, and how property can change from one form to another and sometimes be both;
• How dividing assets in divorce depends on the state which you live in;
• How the method you use to end your marriage can also significantly impact how the division of your marital estate will take place;
• And how to maintain control over your divorce asset split

* This post is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice, financial advice, or counsel.

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Assets divided in a divorce are typically marital property, not separate property

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Generally speaking, assets are either marital property or separate property.

• Marital property typically includes: any assets acquired by either spouse during the marriage, regardless of who made the purchase, or whose name is on the title.
• Separate property typically includes:  any asset owned by either spouse prior to the marriage, an inheritance either spouse received prior to or during the marriage, personal property or gifts given from one spouse to the other spouse, or received from others, and proceeds received for pain and suffering in a personal injury lawsuit.

When it comes to dividing assets in a divorce, marital property are considered divorce assets, whereas non marital assets are considered a spouse’s separate property. In my experience, the longer a couple is married, the less of a chance they have both separate and marital property as over time, everything becomes commingled. But like everything, there can be exceptions as you’ll soon learn.

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Separate property can be converted into marital property

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Let’s say you owned real property such as a home prior to the marriage and after you got married, you added your spouse to the title so you could be co-owners. And used joint funds to make the mortgage payments moving forward. In this example, you converted separate property into marital property. Or you each had individual checking accounts before you got married, then combined them into one joint account. That commingled property is now also considered marital property. And both the house and the checking accounts would be subject to negotiation between you during your divorce.

Incidentally the opposite is also true – you can convert marital property to separate property if you and your spouse both agree in writing. But that’s another post for another day.

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Some divorce assets can be both marital and separate property

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Let’s say when you and your spouse first started your current jobs you were both single. You each enrolled in your company’s 401(k) plan, and for the next 6 years you and your spouse contributed to your respective accounts. And, after you got married, you still continued to contribute to those very same accounts.

Flash forward 15 years – and you and your spouse are divorcing. In this example, your retirement plans – the 401(k)s – are both separate property and marital property. So in theory, a portion of each of your respective retirement plans would be retained by only one spouse, and a portion would be subject to distribution between you, with the other spouse possibly receiving a share of your investment account, or vice versa.

– Dividing property that is both separate and marital is a complex topic outside the scope of this post.

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Separate assets that appreciate during the marriage

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What happens if you or your spouse owned a rental property prior to marriage that was completely self-sustaining – meaning, no marital funds were used for its management or upkeep. Then, at the time of your divorce, it had doubled in value?

If the appreciation in the value of the house was due to market forces outside your control (passive), then that appreciation is most likely considered non marital property. But if the rental property increased in value because you both spent your free time renovating and improving it, then possibly yes, that growth could be considered marital.

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How marital assets and marital debts are divided is different in a community property state versus an equitable distribution state

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Here in the United States, dividing assets and debts in a divorce follows one of two different methodologies: either Equitable Distribution or Community Property Division. In Community Property states like California and Washington state, both spouses are generally considered equal owners of all marital property and debts. So the going in supposition is generally a 50-50 split. Unless the parties otherwise mutually agree in writing.

Whereas in Equitable Distribution states like New Jersey, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania, there should be a “fair division” of a couple’s marital property and debt – but not necessarily equally.

So as you can see, state law where you live is one of the factors that can play a role in how the financial aspects of your divorce are handled. But there’s more to it than that.

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The method you use to end your marriage will also significantly impact your property agreements

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Regardless of whether you live in a community property state or an equitable distribution state, you and your spouse actually have a lot of flexibility to come to a divorce agreement you both find fair. Provided you pursue an uncontested divorce.

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If you can work together during your divorce proceedings, and engage in direct negotiations, you can maintain control over the terms of your property settlement.

But if you can’t (or refuse to) work together, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to predict the outcome of how your marital property (and debt) will be divided. Because you’ll each need to hire your own divorce attorney to argue on your behalf.

If they can’t help you and your spouse come to agreement, you’ll have no choice but to battle it out in family law court. Where judges divide marital property for you. And unfortunately, there’s a good chance neither of you will wind up with a property settlement you find fair or that meets your needs or interests.

That’s why it’s better to work with your spouse to negotiate an equitable property division – out of court.

Doing so allows you and your spouse to remain in complete control of how any marital assets obtained, or joint debts acquired, are divided. Even if it’s not 50-50.

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What if you and your spouse want to maintain control of the division of your assets and debts, but you don’t understand the complexities of your situation?

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Especially because not all assets and liabilities are the same. Some may be pre-tax like retirement benefits, while others are post-tax like checking accounts. Some may change in value frequently (such as retirement accounts,) while others are quite static. In other words, what may appear as a fair property division on the surface doesn’t necessarily mean it is. And even if it was, each of you will have a different definition of what’s fair depending on your wants, needs, and interests.

In situations like these you can involve a financial advisor to help you understand the intricacies of your situation, or work with a divorce mediator with a financial background.

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What if you’re willing to work together to determine your asset split, but don’t communicate effectively or get along?

This is all very normal (and common,) given the circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there are many complexities surrounding divorce and asset division – so it’s often way too difficult for a divorcing couple to try to resolve on their own.

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Or you don’t understand the how the actual tactical division works?

Some joint property such as furniture or bank accounts are easier to divide. You each take what you want (and have agreed to,) and that’s that. While other property is far more difficult to divide. Take for example, a 401(k) or corporate pension plan. Did you know they require a document known as a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO for short) to be drafted by an attorney, signed off by a judge, and executed by a plan administrator, before each of you can receive your share? And if you fail to do this properly, there are significant tax consequences and penalties you’ll incur?

As you can see by this example (and there are many more like it) there is far more& to the distribution of assets in divorce than just taking what you’ve each agreed to take, and walking away. How and when each asset is divided differs from couples to couple, and item to item.

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That’s why mediation is an ideal solution for dividing assets in a divorce

With the help of a skilled mediator with a financial acumen like me, you can retain control of your property settlement and at the same time, avoid making costly and significant mistakes in this complicated part of the divorce process. And you and your spouse can successfully reach an agreement you both agree is a fair and equitable division – instead of letting your future be decided by lawyers or a judge in court.

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Key takeaways

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• During a divorce, assets are generally classified as either marital property (acquired during marriage) or separate property (owned before marriage or received as inheritance/gifts). This difference plays a crucial role in determining how assets are divided.
• Separate property can transform into marital property through actions like combining accounts or adding a spouse’s name to a title. This process, known as commingling, becomes more common the longer a couple is married.
• Some assets, like retirement accounts started before marriage but continued during marriage, can be both separate and marital property at the same time. This creates a more complex situation that requires careful consideration.
• The state you live in significantly impacts how assets are divided. Community property states typically split marital assets 50-50, while equitable distribution states aim for a “fair” division that may not be equal.
• Working together through mediation or collaborative divorce gives couples more control over their property division compared to letting a judge decide.
• Some assets are more complicated to divide than others. For example, retirement accounts require special legal documents (QDROs) and professional assistance to split properly, while bank accounts can be divided more simply.
• The fairness of asset division isn’t just about splitting things equally – it’s important to consider whether assets are pre-tax or post-tax, and whether their values might change over time.

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Lay the groundwork for a peaceful
divorce

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As parents starting a divorce in Washington, your children are most likely your number one concern. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re ending your marriage, how will you ensure they get the financial support needed to minimize the effect your divorce will have on them?

That’s where child support in Washington State comes in.

But the Washington State Child Support calculator has a number of complexities and limitations, and coming to an agreement may be harder than you think.

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Washington state child support: What is the purpose?

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In Washington state, child support guidelines have two purposes:

1. To ensure that the monthly child support obligation agreed upon by you and your spouse is enough to meet your children’s basic needs; and
2. To provide a framework for discussion regarding an amount of additional child support, based on each of your incomes, resources, and standard(s) of living, for any further needs your children may have, that are not included in the basic needs above.

Child support is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon in divorce mediation along with a parenting plan, spousal maintenance (also known as alimony or spousal support), and community property (dividing marital property and debts).

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But if you’re wondering how child support works in Washington, it’s important to recognize that this topic is about more than just money.

Many parents think the purpose of WA State child support is to make sure they have enough money after they’re divorced to pay for the items their kids need. But that’s only partially correct.

Divorce is hard on children. And life as they know it is about to change significantly. Child support helps alleviate some of the effects your divorce may have on them. And allows your kids’ lifestyles to remain as normal as possible, once you and your spouse have ended your marriage.

Child support shows your kids you still love them, want the best for them, and care about their well-being.

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There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining child support in Washington state:

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• While there is a Washington child support calculator, it can be deviated from, isn’t useful in many situations, and what factors are included and excluded from its calculation can cause significant disagreement between you and your spouse.
• Because child support in Washington state only considers the income of each parent and not the amount of time the children spend with each of you, those with 50-50 parenting plans may have a difficult time using the guideline “as-is.”
• Elevated mortgage interest rates, coupled with the above national average cost of housing in Washington state, keeping the children in the marital home post-divorce, may prove challenging.
• The Washington state child support worksheet does not factor into its calculation the ages of your children, which may cause parents of teenagers to experience a shortfall in support.
• This topic has less to do with formulas and guidelines, and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s best for your kids.
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and in most cases, this subject is much too complex for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best result by mediating your Washington divorce with us.

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The Washington state child support calculator is only a starting point for negotiations.

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Federal law requires all 50 states to have a repeatable way by which to calculate child support. So while every state has a child support calculator, the approaches vary greatly from state to state. Some states use a simple percentage-based formula. You’d simply take a share of the supporting party’s income and pay it to the other party, and you’re done. This is known as a “percentage of obligor’s income” model. While others have moved to an approach called the “income shares’ model which ideally considers each party’s income and earnings, as well as the amount of time the children spend with each parent.

And while Washington state does use a version of the income shares model, in our experience, there are shortfalls with WA state child support approach.

Making determining child support in Washington state a very complex undertaking.

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The Washington state child support worksheet can be both confusing and incomplete.

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Washington uses its own version of the Income Shares model which allows you and your spouse to make use of any of the following factors when determining child support:

• Your incomes from employment, interest, and dividends, and any businesses you own; and
• Any maintenance (aka alimony or spousal support) paid or received; and
• Who takes the children as a tax deduction; and
• Any mandatory retirement contributions either of you must make; and
• Any mandatory union dues either of you must pay; and
• How much each of you voluntarily contributes to your 401(k) or other retirement plans; and
• Normal business expenses; and
• The value of any household assets such as real estate, investments, vehicles and boats, bank accounts and cash, and retirement accounts you may own; and
• Any household debts you may have incurred.

There are also several other “add-ons” that may be factored in such as:

• The cost of your children’s health insurance premiums; and
• Any out of pocket medical expenses such as deductibles, co-pays, or other non-covered expenses; and
• Any daycare expenses; and
• Educational costs for the children; and
• Any visitation-related travel expenses were one of you to live far from the other.

And if that wasn’t enough to confuse you, there’s this:

The parties may also consider any other factors that either of them deems relevant to the determination of child support.

Starting to see why this is a very complex undertaking?

Now assuming you’ve got all of that, and can enter all this data into the child support calculator, the output may or may not accurately represent what is truly required to raise your kids! One thing WA state child support does not factor in, is the amount of time the children spend with each of you.

This, in my experience, is one of the most significant challenges parents face when attempting to use the WA state child support calculator.

Think about it. The more time your children spend with you, the more food they’re going to eat. The more utilities they’re going to use. And the more expenses you’re going to incur on their behalf. And even though since 2011, experts have recommended adding time sharing to calculating child support, Washington state higher-ups have still not agreed to do so.

Also not considered in the WA child support calculator is the age of your children. And while the state of Washington may feel that way, something tells us if you’re a parent of a teenager, you know their expenses are far greater than their younger siblings. From the amount of food a teenage boy eats, to the labels on the clothes your teens wear, older children are just flat-out more expensive than younger kids! Yet the amount of child support you will receive is the same whether they’re 6 or 16.

What you’re starting to see in Washington, just like everywhere else in the United States, is that the amount outputted by the guideline is an estimation of what it costs to raise your children, may or may not accurately represent what it costs to raise them, and can be deviated from if in your case, you and your spouse choose to do so.

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And many of the “factors” mentioned above are difficult to agree on.

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For example, according to WA state child support worksheets, the value of any household assets such as real estate, investments, vehicles and boats, bank accounts and cash, and retirement accounts you may own may be factored into the state of Washington calculation support calculation. So, does that mean you might have to decide how to divide your community property (i.e. your assets and liabilities) to understand who’s going to receive which assets and liabilities before you determine child support? Didn’t see that coming, did you? And, what is an appropriate amount to voluntarily contribute to your 401(k) or other retirement vehicles? Is it fair you max out your 401(k) contributions even if it means your kids don’t have a nice place to live, or enough to eat?

And don’t forget – this guideline was developed by the state of Washington. But the state of Washington doesn’t know the exact amount required to ensure your kids are properly supported so they’ll thrive.

Only you know what it actually costs to raise your kids!

So, while you might think you simply run the guideline and use the number calculated, it’s not even close. The reality is, the number isn’t a hard and fast formula, but rather, a suggestion. And it’s just a starting point for negotiation.

From there, it’s up to you and your spouse to negotiate an agreement that’s in the best interests of your children and that you both find fair.

Which is not so easy to do. Especially if you live in Seattle. Child support amounts outputted by the calculator may not be adequate for parents who live in urban areas of King County!

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So what does child support cover in Washington state?

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So far, you’ve learned that the Washington State child support schedule attempts to provide divorcing parents with an estimate of a basic amount of financial support needed to raise their kids. And then it allocates a portion of that amount to each spouse based on a number of factors.

But even when you run the child support calculator, Washington state parents still need to decide which expenses should be included, and how they’re going to handle those that aren’t.

As parents, I’m sure you would agree that you have to provide at least a basic level of support to your children. Food on the table, a safe place for them to live, and clothes for them to go to school in.

But after that, what does child support cover in Washington State is the subject of much debate.

First is the issue with the Washington child support calculator itself. Previously, we talked about how any out-of-pocket medical expenses such as deductibles, co-pays, or other non-covered expenses, was one of the categories listed on the WA State child support worksheets. But should these really be included?

Let’s look at the story of 5-year-old Jake. Jake is an active little boy who loves to swim. His mom swears he’s part fish! But poor Jake is highly susceptible to ear infections and sinus infections. Resulting in frequent trips to the doctor, lots of antibiotics, and a significant number of co-pays made to both Dr. Johnson and Bartell Drugs.

At first, it seems like including out-of-pocket medical expenses in the WA state child support amount for Jake makes sense. But over time, something happens, and Jake grows out of them. No more doctor visits or prescriptions to pay for! But back when you got divorced, Jake’s child support award included funds for deductibles, co-pays, and other non-covered expenses. So, in theory, the WA State child support amount you both agreed on for Jake is too high. So now you must open old wounds and attempt to renegotiate the amount. Ugh!

Then, there’s the matter of the items that were not covered in the State of Washington child support calculation.

Such as:

• Swimming lessons;
• Cheerleading academy;
• All-star baseball camp;
• Automobile insurance;
• College site visits;

And the list goes on and on…

In mediation, we commonly refer to these as “extraordinary” expenses and they are not typically included in the basic child support amount. These items must be discussed and negotiated separately to ensure your children get the financial support they need and deserve. Because let’s face it, the items listed above tend to be among the most expensive of all!

Starting to see why answering the question, “How much is child support in Washington state” is not as simple as using some free calculator you may have found on the Internet?

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There are other issues to be decided regarding Washington child support.

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In addition to the basic and extraordinary costs associated with raising your children, you and your spouse will also need to discuss and come to an agreement on:

• Who gets to take the child tax credit;
• Who will pay for the children’s health insurance;
• Whether you have enough life insurance to cover the children’s expenses now and when they go off to college;
• How college tuition costs will be paid for;
• The duration child support in Washington is paid (because for some children, it may extend beyond age 18)

Making the list of what is not easily resolved, longer and longer.

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The Washington state child support worksheets aren’t clear on how to handle all situations.

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Back when I was a kid, it was easy to figure out how much my parents got paid. Mom worked 20 hours a week in a jewelry store and was paid hourly. And Dad was a construction supervisor and had a flat salary. There were no bonuses, restricted stock units, stock options, or ownership shares in their companies. Maybe dad got a Christmas ham or bottle of booze as a thank you come year-end, but that was that.

Today, compensation has gotten far more complex.

Bonuses, stock options, RSU’s, commissions, deferred compensation – you name it – can all play a significant role in how someone earns a living. And these types of financial incentives usually aren’t paid out on a regular basis. And in some years, not at all.

If you or your spouse receives one (or more) of these “exotic” compensation methods, the amount you receive may far exceed the amount you get through your basic salary amount. So, predicting what each of you earns for the purposes of determining child support can be difficult.

Add to that more and more people in the Seattle and King County area work for high-tech startups, and are being compensated with ownership shares, and you’ve got some real challenges in determining how much is child support in Washington State.

And who’s counting, anyway?

Prior to your decision to divorce, I’m sure you and your spouse did everything you could to give your kids the life they deserved. There was no pre-agreed upon amount you were going to spend every month. And there certainly wasn’t any cap. They asked for something, and you provided it to them.

No questions asked.

But now that you’re divorcing, that’s exactly what the Washington state child support guidelines are asking you to do.

In order to get a divorce in the state of Washington, you and your spouse must agree on a monthly amount of financial support you’ll each provide to your children. And, according to the Washington State Child Support Schedule, that amount of child support may be capped if you and your spouse collectively make more than a certain amount each month.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, “Wait, didn’t you say our children were entitled to share in our current incomes? What if we collectively make more than the cap? Then what do we do?”

Good question…

It’s been my experience that parents typically have very different spending styles when it comes to their children. Leaving you to try and answer the question, “How much child support is enough and how much is too much?”

In either of the cases I described above, you and your spouse would have no choice but to skip the guidelines and negotiate instead.

Which is not always so easy to do.

And the answer to “When does child support end in Washington” isn’t as simple as you might think.

The theory in Washington is that child support ends when a child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever is last to occur. So, child support ends somewhere around age 18. Right? Maybe… But what happens if they commute to college? Don’t go to college? Boomerang back home after college?

So, while child support can end at age 18, these days, more often than not, we’re seeing that it doesn’t.

The truth is, there can be exceptions agreed upon by you and your spouse. As parents, the two of you have quite a bit of latitude to decide what works for your children, in your unique situation and circumstances.

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When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

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There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a family court judge determines child support. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because the judge will dictate a child support order and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate this issue out of the courts and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In mediation, you get to decide – and come to a child support payment (and agreement) that puts your children first and you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger in court.

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You will get the best Washington child support result by mediating with us.

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Washington State child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support on your own.

Use divorce mediation and work with us instead!

Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of child support in Washington State, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support amount that accurately reflects your lives as parents and the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all basic, extraordinary, and future expenses.

• We’ll talk about who your children are, what they like to do, and what it will take to make sure they’re getting what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
• Work through specialized cases like child support for when you share in the care of your children equally. We’ll also explore arrangements in which the children spend a majority of their time with one parent as this, too, can have its own special approach.
• Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement and create an agreement you both find fair and equitable regarding the support of your children.
• Make sure your agreement minimizes tax issues, avoids penalties, and improves cash flow whenever possible.

Because no two situations or sets of circumstances are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.

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center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]Guide to Divorce Mediation in Washington State[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”How is mediation conducted for divorces in Washington State?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In Washington State divorce mediation is a confidential process and may either be conducted using the family law court-supported Washington State Dispute Resolution Center (DRC), or conducted privately by working with Seattle divorce mediators like us.

While both the DRC and private mediators provide mediation services, and remain neutral throughout the proceedings, the DRC may not be best equipped to handle the complexities that most divorcing clients typically have.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between court-supported mediation and private mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are three major differences between court-supported mediation and private mediation in

First, when mediation is court-supported, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.

Second, the mediators may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a court-supported mediator in Seattle is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no real-world experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-supported mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

In our opinion, it’s always better to hire a private mediator to handle your divorce case.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is always better when conducted privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the Seattle divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and  your spouse prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help the two of you and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to the mediator the pre-work and discovery items required, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to offer possible solutions, help you explore and negotiate each option, and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will each be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, along with a host of other related King County court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge in 90 days as there is a waiting period in Washington State.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the main benefits of mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation can help couples navigate divorce more peacefully and efficiently, without the cost and stress of lengthy court battles. This confidential process allows the parties to work together in a supportive environment, focusing on finding solutions that work for everyone involved. Rather than leaving decisions to a judge, parties decide their own outcome, which often leads to more satisfying and lasting agreements.

Through mediation, we help the parties reach common ground on important issues like property division, parenting arrangements, and financial matters. The flexible nature of mediation makes it possible to explore creative solutions that might not be available in traditional court proceedings. Because you maintain control of the process, you’re often able to reach agreements that better reflect your family’s unique needs.

Given our extensive experience, we’re able to help nearly all of our mediation cases settle successfully, helping minimize both emotional and financial stress. By choosing mediation, couples can work toward resolution without getting caught up in the adversarial court system, preserving important relationships and setting a positive tone for future interactions, especially when children are involved.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How can I convince my spouse to mediate?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, divorce mediation is a voluntary process. In our experience, what typically happens is there’s one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a divorce attorney if I am using a Seattle mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no requirement in Seattle, King County or Washington State that parties have to retain a lawyer as involving attorneys is a matter of personal choice. While some clients choose to hire a Seattle family law attorney to review their settlement agreement (known as a Memorandum of Understanding in mediation) or provide legal advice during or after the mediation process, others explicitly choose to divorce without the involvement of lawyers. If you’d like the perspective of a divorce lawyer on a one or more family law matters, you are encouraged to do so.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do my spouse and I have to be in agreement on any or all matters prior to starting the Washington State divorce process?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will divorce mediation work in complex divorces in King County?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all King County mediators, for us the answer is yes. We’ve successfully mediated divorce for employees of numerous King County employers including Amazon, Boeing, Kirkland, Microsoft, Shopify, and U of Washington among many others. Given the types of compensation these employers typically offer their employees, most of our cases have a high degree of complexity including complicated compensation such as stock options and restricted stock units, along with other variable compensation components like bonuses and commissions, as well as deferred compensation packages including pensions. We are also well versed in divorces involving a business, high assets, divorce after long-term marriage, and grey divorce.

Read case studies and learn who we help

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does mediation compare to other dispute resolution processes like collaborative divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the goal of both of these divorce options is to help couples avoid court, there are significant ways they differ from the number of professionals involved, the cost, the timing, among many other factors. You can learn more in our post: Divorce Mediation Versus Collaborative Law Process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a divorce mediator and a divorce mediation lawyer?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorney mediators, so they may refer to themselves as a “divorce mediation attorney” or “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some are mental health professionals. While others, like Equitable Mediation founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between family law mediation and divorce mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married Washington parents make decisions on and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process.

While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a family law mediator, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a divorce mediator give me legal advice?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. They cannot and must remain impartial – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as an unbiased, neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice.

You can learn more about the differences between divorce mediation and divorce lawyers in this post.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can you really help us find common ground? We don’t seem to agree on much.” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. As a professionally trained mediator with more than 25 years of experience, I’ve found that couples can reach agreement when both parties are willing to engage in good-faith negotiations and approach the process with an openness to compromise.

What often surprises couples is that they actually agree on more than they realize. When emotions are running high, it’s natural to focus on points of conflict while overlooking areas where they’re in lock step. Sometimes, couples don’t even recognize when they’re in agreement until I point it out – which makes sense given that communication difficulties are a common cause of divorce.

People who choose mediation typically want to keep things peaceful. And it’s this shared goal that already creates common ground. When you explain to them what will happen if they don’t reach agreement in mediation – i.e. they’ll be forced into a more contentious divorce process – they’re more likely to compromise and reach agreement.

In my experience, when couples participate together in mediation, and have to look each other in the eye when they make an offer, it becomes harder to propose unfair solutions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does a divorce cost in Washington State when mediation is used?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation costs vary depending on the skill level and experience of the mediator, scope of services included and case complexities. If you’re wondering about the cost of divorce mediation, you might be focusing on the mediator’s hourly rate, or in our case, flat-fee. But there are a number of other equally, if not more important factors contributing to the overall cost of divorce mediation.

One is the mediator’s experience. You may be thinking naturally, a more experience a mediator has a higher fee. But that’s not what we’re talking about. An experienced mediator is going to be sure to cover present and known and potential future issues. This way, you’ll likely avoid having to return to mediation (or worse yet, court) and spend more money down the line when circumstances change.

It’s expensive (and stressful) to try to resolve a missed issue and modify your divorce decree, so the more thorough your agreement is at the time of your divorce will be a cost-avoidance for you in the future.

Another factor attributed to cost is the services included in the mediation. For example, some Seattle mediators like us offer divorce coaching for emotional support, while other mediators don’t. Or whether the mediator drafts a thorough written agreement, or a simple agreement that would need to be re-written by an attorney at an additional cost to you. And some mediators may even require each spouse to hire an attorney to review their agreement, while others who believe in the power of self-determination, don’t.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for what you think is a low fee, but once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by an attorney, or potentially another $10,000- $20,000 in the future to resolve missed issues.

Or you can choose an experienced mediator who might have a higher fee, but who will provide a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on present and anticipated future issues, which in turn, will save you a lot of money in the long run.

Each mediator has their own mediation fee structure, but the average cost of divorce mediation in Washington State is between $6,000 to $10,000

Because we develop a customized mediation plan for each couple, based on their unique needs and circumstances, fees for our divorce mediation services vary. But even the most complex cases cost a fraction of traditional litigation using family law attorneys or collaborative law process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do I know if mediation is a realistic option for my uncontested divorce in Seattle?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is a feasible option if:

• You and your spouse are both ready to take part in a good faith and transparent negotiation which requires full financial disclosure;
• There is some level of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you’re both ready to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process and will only work if you are both committed to it;
• You would like to have an experienced professional mediator help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required divorce issues, but you want full control over your divorce agreement and want to make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, but one of you does not, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option in your case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Are divorce mediation and arbitration the same thing?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While both the divorce mediation and arbitration processes involve gathering information, working with multiple parties, and conversations taking place between the participants and a third-party, there is one significant difference between them.

In arbitration, the solution to the parties’ disagreement is decided by the involved third-party arbitrator like a private judge in what’s known as a settlement conference. Whereas mediators believe the solution to the parties disagreement lies with them, and mediator helps the parties come to agreements on their own in one or more negotiation sessions.

We feel divorce mediation is a better ADR (alternative dispute resolution) alternative than arbitration, as it empowers the parties to make the decisions that are in their mutual best interest. Rather than allowing a total stranger to make decisions for them that may or may not work in their particular case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”I’ve heard about something called “Shuttle Mediation.” Can you explain a bit more about what that is, and if Equitable Mediation uses that approach?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Shuttle mediation is where the mediator would help the two spouses resolve the relevant issues (parenting plan, child support, alimony, division of assets and liabilities, etc.) without both of them being present in the same room, or on the same Zoom call.

Shuttle mediation can be useful in cases with special circumstances (where two parties truly do wish to mediate, but they are unwilling or unable to be in the same room at the same time, such as with domestic violence). However we prefer direct negotiations – working with both spouses at the same time, as we have found this breeds more trust among the parties. Therefore, we do not perform shuttle mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can be a divorce mediator in Washington State?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no requirement in Washington State for a mediator to be licensed or certified. That means anyone can call themselves Washington State mediators. And while that may be a positive in that it can provide divorcing couples alternatives to the adversarial legal system, it’s critically important to ensure that the mediator you choose has the proper skills and experience to guide you through your divorce in Washington State.

It’s not uncommon for attorneys to call themselves a “divorce mediation lawyer” or a “mediation attorney” as they feel attending law school or understanding family law issues also qualifies them to be divorce mediators. But in our opinion, litigating or advocating for one party is an entirely different skill set than acting as a neutral third party and assisting both parties towards fair and equitable resolution.

Learn more about how to find a good mediator.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) and a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA)?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

A mediator will draft what’s known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which contains all of the agreements the parties made with regards to items that affect their family such as parenting time and decision-making, child support, spousal maintenance and property division.

After mediation is completed, the agreements outlined in the MOU are then formally drafted by a qualified professional into a legally binding document known as the Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is signed by the parties and is one of the (many) legal documents that are submitted to the court to finalize the parties’ dissolution of marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the Seattle metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Seattle, Bellevue, Kent, Everett, Renton, Federal Way, Kirkland, Auburn, Redmond, Shoreline, Bothell, Burien, Lynnwood, Edmonds, Puyallup, Sammamish, Lacey, Marysville, Issaquah, Tukwila, Mercer Island, Des Moines, and SeaTac.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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As a mom or dad preparing to start divorce mediation in New Jersey, your children are most likely your number one concern. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re getting a divorce, how do you make sure they get the financial support they need in order to live healthy and happy lives?

That’s where NJ child support comes in.

And there’s a lot more to child support in New Jersey than you might think.

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What is the purpose of child support?

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Child support is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon in mediation along with:

• Parenting plans
• Alimony / spousal support
• And Equitable distribution (the distribution of your marital assets and liabilities)

The purpose of child support is to ensure that you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are meeting the financial needs of your children.

However, it is essential to understand that child support encompasses more than just financial considerations.

Many parents think the purpose of child support is to make sure they have enough money after they’re divorced to pay for the items their kids need. But that’s only partially correct.

Divorce is complicated for your children. The fighting and the stress you’re going through can really take a toll on them. Soon, you will no longer be husband and wife, but you’ll always be Mom and Dad.

Child support demonstrates to your kids that you still love them and care about their well-being.

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NJ has three main principles behind its child support guidelines:

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1. Child support is a continuing obligation of both parents as the children belong to both of them; and
2. Children are entitled to share in the current income of both parents and not simply the parent who has custody; and
3. Children should not become the economic victims of divorce.

When it comes to New Jersey child support, it is pretty clear that you and your spouse must remain as responsible for your children financially after you’re divorced as you were while you were married.

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There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining child support in NJ:

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• While there is a child support guideline, it only represents the minimum, it doesn’t include all the expenses required to raise a child, and it isn’t applicable in all situations.
• While inflation has returned to more manageable levels, mortgage interest rates continue to remain elevated, making housing children even more expensive in the Garden State.
• This topic has less to do with child support laws or payments and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s in the best interest of your kids.
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and in the majority of cases, this subject is much too complex for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you will get the best result by mediating with us.

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The child support guidelines in New Jersey only represent the minimum.

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Federal law requires all 50 states to have a standardized method for determining child support. So every state has a child support guideline and the formulas vary from state to state. Some states use a simple percentage-based formula. You’d take a share of the supporting party’s income and give it to the other party and you’re done.

But not in New Jersey.

Determining child support in NJ is a highly complex undertaking.

NJ uses something called the Income Shares Model. The income shares model attempts to take into account several factors including:

• Your incomes;
• The ages of your children;
• The amount of spousal support one of you pays and receives (yes, alimony is a factor in determining child support in NJ).

Several other factors may be considered.

From there, the NJ child support guideline will attempt to approximate the minimum amount of financial support needed to raise your children in the State of New Jersey. Notice I didn’t say “formula,” I said guideline. And I didn’t say that the guidelines provide an “adequate” or “reasonable” amount of child support. I said minimum.

Please note that the state of New Jersey developed this guideline. But the state of NJ doesn’t know the exact amount required to ensure your kids are properly supported so they’ll thrive.

Only you know what it really costs to raise your kids!

So, while you might think you’re following the guideline and using the calculated number, it’s not even close. The reality is, the number isn’t a hard and fast formula, but rather, a suggestion. And it’s just a starting point for negotiation.

From there, it’s up to you and your spouse to negotiate an agreement that’s in the best interests of your children and that you both find fair.

Which is not so easy to do. Especially given the cost of living in towns like Montclair and Morristown!

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A lot is left out of the NJ child support guidelines.

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So far, you’ve learned the child support NJ guidelines attempt to provide divorcing parents with an estimate of the minimum amount of financial support needed to raise their children. And then it allocates a portion of that amount to each of you based on a number of factors.

But even when you run the guideline, there are still many other children’s expenses that aren’t included.

The NJ child support guidelines factor in the following costs, among others:

• Housing;
• Food;
• Clothing;
• Transportation;
• Entertainment;
• Health insurance;
• Unreimbursed health care up to and including $250 per year.

The state of NJ regards these as the “ordinary expenses” incurred while raising a child. But as a parent, you know there’s so much more involved than just feeding your kids and putting a roof over their heads!

There’s also:

• Daycare;
• Music lessons;
• Dance classes;
• Summer camps;
• Laptops and smartphones;
• Prom dresses and tuxes;
• Car insurance;
• And the list goes on and on…

All of these are known as “extraordinary” expenses and are not included in the basic child support amount. These items must be discussed and negotiated separately to ensure your children get the financial support they need and deserve.

Starting to see why determining child support is not as simple as using some free calculator you may have found on the Internet?

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There are other exclusions to child support in New Jersey.

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In addition to the ordinary and extraordinary costs associated with having a child, you and your spouse will also need to discuss and come to an agreement on:

• Who deducts the children on their taxes;
• Who will pay for their health insurance;
• Whether you have enough life insurance to cover the children’s expenses including when they go off to college;
• How college tuition costs will be paid for;
• The duration child support in New Jersey payments last (because for some children, it may extend beyond age 19)

Making the list of what is not resolved by running the guidelines longer and longer.

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The New Jersey child support guidelines aren’t applicable in all situations.

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In order for the NJ child support guideline to be applied as-is, your income and your spouse’s income must be predictable from month-to-month and year-to-year. So if one or both of you earn more of your compensation from bonuses, commissions, or stock options, the guidelines simply won’t work.

There’s an “upper-income limit” on the guidelines.

Meaning if you and your spouse collectively earn more than a set amount per year, the guidelines also won’t work.

Another example of why it’s called a child support guideline and not a formula. In either case, you’ll have no choice but to skip the guidelines and negotiate instead. Which is not always so easy to do.

And the answer to “how long is child support paid for in New Jersey” isn’t as simple as you think.

A few years back, the Governor of NJ signed a bill into law that establishes 19 as the age when a parent’s child support and/or medical support obligation will end.

So child support ends at age 19. Right? Well… maybe…

The truth is there can be exceptions agreed upon by you and your spouse. As parents, the two of you have quite a bit of latitude to decide what works for your children, in your unique situation. So while child support can end at age 19, more often than not, it doesn’t.

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When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

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There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines child support. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because they’ll dictate the terms of the settlement in court and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate this issue out of court and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement that’s in the best interest of your children and you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger.

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You’ll get the best result by mediating with us.

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Child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support on your own.

Use divorce mediation and work with us instead!

Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of child support in NJ, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support amount that accurately reflects your lives as parents and the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all ordinary, extraordinary, and future expenses.

• We’ll talk about who your children are, what they like to do, and what it will take to make sure they’re getting what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
• Work through specialized cases like joint custody child support in which you share in the parenting time and care of your children equally. As joint custody child support has its own unique method for determination. We’ll also explore arrangements in which the children spend a majority of their time with one parent as this, too, has its own special approach.
• Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement and create an agreement you both find fair and equitable regarding the support of your children.
• Make sure you and your spouse not only come to an agreement that you both find to be fair but also one that minimizes tax issues, avoids penalties, and improves cash flow whenever possible.

Because no two situations are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_button link=”/get-started/” enable_hover_text_icon=”no” hover_text=”” title=”Get Started” target=”_self” link_attributes=”” aria_role_button=”0″ alignment_medium=”” alignment_small=”” alignment=”center” modal=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”btn-style-blue” id=”” color=”custom” button_gradient_top_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” button_gradient_top_color=”var(–awb-custom_color_2)” button_gradient_bottom_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” button_gradient_bottom_color=”var(–awb-color4)” gradient_start_position=”” gradient_end_position=”” gradient_type=”” radial_direction=”” linear_angle=”180″ accent_hover_color=”” accent_color=”var(–awb-color5)” type=”” bevel_color=”” bevel_color_hover=”” border_top=”2px” border_right=”2px” border_bottom=”2px” border_left=”2px” border_radius_top_left=”30px” border_radius_top_right=”30px” 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last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_type=”fade” class=”c-anim”]Guide to Divorce Mediation in New Jersey[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” inactive_icon=”” active_icon=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ id=”” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_color=”#f4f3ef” background_color=”” divider_line=”” divider_hover_color=”” divider_color=”” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” 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Yes. Court-ordered mediation is ordered by a judge in a litigated divorce proceeding. So if you choose the traditional route to divorce through the court system, you’ll be obligated to attend “mediation” as part of the divorce settlement process.

New Jersey requires parties in litigation to engage in mandatory mediation which is referred to as an early settlement panel. This panel consists of three professionals, typically lawyers and mental health professionals, who will hear the facts regarding your case, and make a recommendation to the judge on what your parenting time or financial agreements should look like. It is not uncommon for the judge to accept the recommendation of the early settlement panel.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between court-ordered mediation and private mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are four significant differences between court-ordered mediation and private mediation.

First, when mediation is court-ordered, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So, you could end up with a mediator you don’t like or with whom you’re not comfortable working.

Second, the mediators on the family law court roster may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a family court mediator in New Jersey is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no “real-world” experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is generally more effective when conducted privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a divorce lawyer if I am working with a mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without lawyers.

However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel for advice on New Jersey divorce law. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the NJ divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online – using Zoom – and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe. Depending greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics. Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good as-is, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related Illinois court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to have your divorce filed with the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge as there is no waiting period in Illinois.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation work in a complex New Jersey divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all New Jersey mediators, for couples who choose to work with us, the answer is a decisive yes. We routinely handle complex divorces including long-term marriages, business ownership, sophisticated compensation structures, high-value assets, and families with special needs children.

Read case studies and learn more about who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we have to agree on the issues before we start mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! It is not necessary for the two of you to have everything already decided before you start mediation. In fact, many couples specifically wait for their divorce mediator to help them talk about and resolve the issues because they can’t agree on their own. This way, you can make sure things will remain amicable between you, and that all issues will be discussed thoroughly, in the proper order, and given the time and attention they require.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”We’re getting a divorce in NJ. How do we know if mediation is a good option for us?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is a good option if:

• You are both willing to take part in a transparent, honest, and “good faith” negotiation which includes full disclosure;
• There is a level of mutual respect between you, and because mediation is a voluntary process, you’re both willing to actively participate and be fair and reasonable;
• You want a skilled divorce professional to help you resolve the required issues, but you want to maintain full control over your divorce agreement and make your own decisions.

Since it takes far less time, costs far less, and preserves family relationships, mediation is almost always the preferred alternative to traditional divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if my spouse and I don’t reach an agreement in mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

98% of our clients successfully resolve their divorce through mediation, so when working with us, there is a high probability/likelihood of success. But if you and your spouse don’t reach a complete agreement in mediation, there is still a constructive path forward/option.

In our experience, most “incomplete” mediations only have one or two remaining issues to resolve, not the entire divorce. You and your spouse can continue working on specific unresolved points with mediation-friendly attorneys who will help you build upon the progress already made in mediation.

Remember that choosing mediation is already a positive step toward an amicable divorce. Even if you need additional support later, the groundwork you lay during mediation often proves invaluable in reaching your final resolution.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”If we already started divorce litigation can we still mediate?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. Mediation remains an option even after litigation has begun. If both spouses agree, they can pause their court proceedings and work with a mediator to reach a settlement. While the emotional intensity of divorce litigation can make this transition challenging, many couples find that switching to mediation helps them regain control of their divorce process and work toward a more amicable resolution.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does a New Jersey divorce take using mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is divorce mediation less expensive than going to court?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes, divorce mediation is significantly less expensive than going to court. According to an article that appeared in the Motley Fool, going to court will cost a couple on average $46,600 if they can agree quickly, and are only litigating one or two issues. But (and this is important) if one of those issues is alimony or child support, those fees will more than double. With the cost of going to court ranging between $100,000 and $200,000. Even the most complex divorce mediations cost a fraction of a traditional litigated process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost in New Jersey?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The total cost of mediation varies greatly and is dependent on a number of factors including, but not limited to:

• The experience and expertise of the mediator;
• The thoroughness of the mediator’s process;
• The comprehensiveness of the services the mediator provides;
• The relationship dynamic between the parties and willingness to compromise and negotiate the issues.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for a lower hourly rate or flat-fee, but then once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by attorneys (and/or tens of thousands of dollars in the future to resolve missed issues.) Or you can work with an experienced mediator whose fee might be higher, but who delivers a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on both present and known/potential future issues, which will save you money, time and stress in the long run.

To learn more, read: The Real Truth Behind Divorce Mediation Costs

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does working with mediators compare to divorce using lawyers?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are significant differences between these divorce options ranging from the number of professionals involved, approach, speed, cost, fairness, control, tone, and more. This article will help you understand in more detail, a comparison of mediation vs lawyers for divorce, and this article will help you understand the differences between mediation and collaborative law (also referred to as collaborative divorce), and learn the benefits we believe mediation provides.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between divorce mediation and divorce arbitration?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation and arbitration are distinct alternative dispute resolution methods, though both help couples avoid traditional court battles. In mediation, a neutral mediator facilitates discussions between spouses to reach mutually agreeable solutions but doesn’t make decisions for them. This collaborative approach gives couples complete control over the outcome while typically saving time and money.

Arbitration, on the other hand, functions more like a private court where an arbitrator – essentially a private judge – hears both sides and makes binding decisions. While arbitration is usually faster and more confidential than court proceedings, the couple surrenders decision-making power to the arbitrator. Unlike mediation’s flexible nature, arbitration follows stricter procedures and may feel more adversarial.

While both options offer privacy and efficiency, mediation generally fosters better communication and co-parenting relationships, as couples work together to shape their future rather than having solutions imposed upon them.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a divorce mediator and a divorce mediation lawyer?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. You may find a mediator who is an attorney and who refers to themselves as a “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some mediators are mental health professionals. Others, like Equitable Mediation’s founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do I prepare for mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are several steps you can take to prepare for divorce mediation.

Read our post for some divorce mediation tips and a NJ divorce mediation checklist.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout New Jersey from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in cities such as: Newark, Jersey City, Lakewood, Edison, Woodbridge, Toms River, Hamilton, Trenton, Clifton, Brick, Cherry Hill, Middletown, Old Bridge, Gloucester Township, East Orange, Franklin Township, North Bergen, Vineland, Union Township, Piscataway, New Brunswick, Jackson, Wayne, Parsippany-Troy Hills, Howell, Hoboken, Plainfield, West New York, Washington Township, East Brunswick, West Orange, Evesham, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Egg Harbor, Manchester, Hackensack, Sayreville, Mount Laurel, Berkeley Heights, North Brunswick, Morristown, Hillsborough, Belle Mead, and Princeton.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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