Category: Resources

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As a parent preparing to begin a divorce in Illinois, there’s no doubt your children are your number one priority. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re getting a divorce, how do you make sure they get the financial support they’re entitled to and their needs are put first above all else?

That’s where child support in Illinois comes in.

And there’s a lot more to determining Illinois child support than you might think.

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What is the purpose of Illinois child support?

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Child support is one of four important topics that must be discussed, negotiated, and resolved by a couple during divorce mediation along with:

• A Parenting plan and timesharing arrangement
• Alimony (known as maintenance in Illinois)
• And Equitable distribution (the distribution of marital assets and liabilities)

The purpose of child support is to ensure that the divorcing spouses are meeting the financial needs of a couple’s children.

However, it’s essential to recognize that child support encompasses more than just financial considerations.

Many parents think the purpose of child support is to make sure they have enough money after they’re divorced to pay for the items their kids need. But that’s only partially correct. Divorce is complicated on your children. The fighting and stress can really take a toll on them. Soon, you will no longer be husband and wife, but you’ll always be Mom and Dad.

Child support payments show your kids you still and will always love them and you care about their welfare.

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There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining IL child support:

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• The Illinois child support guideline doesn’t include all the expenses required to raise a child, and it isn’t applicable in all situations, such as those with variable income, or large bonuses.
• While inflation appears to be under control, economic uncertainty continues as parent’s ability to make ends meet is challenged due to the persistent higher cost of living, and increased mortgage rates.
• The IL child support guidelines were last revised in a meaningful way in 2019, so if another revision is around the corner, how do parents who are divorcing now handle any changes which are yet to come?
• This topic has less to do with Illinois child support laws and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s best for your kids.
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and in the majority of cases, the subject of child support in Illinois is much too complex to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you and your spouse will get the best result by mediating with us.

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How has the IL child support calculator evolved, and how does it now work?

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Federal law requires all 50 states to have a mechanized way by which to determine child support. So every state has a child support guideline and the formulas vary from state to state. The guidelines are meant to help parents determine a minimum amount of child support to be paid, in an attempt to ensure their children’s financial well-being, post-divorce.

Previously, Illinois used something called the Percentage of Obligor Net Income model. This model simply took a percentage of the net income of one parent (spouse) and gave it to the other parent (spouse) based on the number of children the couple had together.

But now things have gotten a whole lot more complicated.

Illinois switched over to something called an Income-Shares model. This model takes into account a wide variety of factors including, but not limited to:

• The number of children;
• The incomes of both parties;
• The number of overnights the children spends with each parent;
• Who takes the child(ren) as a tax deduction;
• And who pays for their health insurance.

Behind the scenes, the guideline tries to estimate the minimum an average couple in the state of Illinois would spend on their children based on the number of children in question, and the incomes of both parties.

But here’s the thing…

You’re not an average couple. And your kids don’t deserve the minimum.

Typically, most couples disagree with the dollar amount the Illinois child support guideline outputs. Especially those that live in Chicago, Evanston, or Northbrook where the cost to raise kids is much higher than the state average. And why wouldn’t they?

Who do you think knows how much you really spend on your kids. You? Or the state of Illinois?

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filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″ transform_type=”regular” transform_hover_element=”self” transform_scale_x=”1″ transform_scale_y=”1″ transform_translate_x=”0″ transform_translate_y=”0″ transform_rotate=”0″ transform_skew_x=”0″ transform_skew_y=”0″ transform_scale_x_hover=”1″ transform_scale_y_hover=”1″ transform_translate_x_hover=”0″ transform_translate_y_hover=”0″ transform_rotate_hover=”0″ transform_skew_x_hover=”0″ transform_skew_y_hover=”0″ transform_origin=”” transition_duration=”300″ transition_easing=”ease” transition_custom_easing=”” motion_effects=”” scroll_motion_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ animation_offset=”” last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true”][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

The IL child support guideline can be a formula or a suggestion.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]Even though it may look like it, the IL child support calculator is not a formula, but rather, simply a guideline that suggests to divorcing parents an amount to pay child support. Meaning…

The child support guidelines in Illinois are open to interpretation.

And can be just a starting point for negotiation.

Don’t forget, this guideline was developed by The state of Illinois. But the state of Illinois doesn’t know the exact payment amount required to ensure your kids are properly supported so they’ll thrive.

Only you know what it truly costs to raise your kids!

It’s really up to you and your spouse to decide whether or not you want to follow the output of the Illinois child support calculator. Or negotiate an amount that’s more appropriate for your children instead. Which is not so easy to do given the nature of divorce.[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

A lot is excluded from the Illinois child support guidelines.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

So far, you’ve learned child support in Illinois is determined by a guideline that outputs an amount that’s open to negotiation.

But you also need to understand that while basics such as food, shelter, and clothing are covered, there are still many other expenses that aren’t.

And as a parent, you know there’s so much more involved than just feeding your kids and putting a roof over their head!

There’s also:

• Daycare;
• Sports, dance lessons, and other extra-curricular activities;
• Music lessons;
• Braces;
• Religious celebrations such as Bar/Bat Mitzvahs or Confirmations;
• Laptops and smartphones;
• Car insurance;
• Summer camps;
• And the list goes on and on…

All of these are known as “extraordinary” expenses and are not included in the basic child support calculation. These items must be discussed and negotiated separately to ensure your children get the financial support they need and deserve.

Starting to see why determining child support is not so simple in an Illinois divorce case?

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There are other exclusions to Illinois child support.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]In addition to the regular and “special” costs associated with raising a child, there are even more issues that need to be addressed in the child support discussion.

Such as:

• Life insurance to ensure the children’s financial well-being;
• Paying for college;
• How long child support is paid;
• Under what conditions child support may be modified or stopped (because for some children, it may extend beyond age 18).

Making the list of what is not resolved by using the calculator longer and longer.

So as you can see, determining child support in Illinois is a very complicated undertaking.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

In order to determine child support, you will first need to agree on maintenance.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

As if all of this wasn’t complicated enough, guess what? Since the Illinois child support guideline takes into account the incomes of both parties, you and your spouse will first need to agree on a maintenance amount, before you can agree on a child support amount. Because maintenance is considered a reduction in income for the party that is paying it, and an increase in income for the party receiving it. And those new incomes for each of you will need to be inputted into the guideline calculator.

Maybe you’re wondering, “How am I going to know how much maintenance I can afford to pay, or will need to receive until we get this child support amount sorted out?” It’s kind of a “chicken and egg” thing, isn’t it?

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a family law judge determines child support in court. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because that judge will dictate child support by court order and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better for parents to negotiate this issue and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In Illinois, when you use mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement that puts your children first and you both agree is fair – out of court – instead of letting a stranger decide a child support order for you.[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

You’ll get the best result by mediating with us.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]Child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support on your own.

It’s better to mediate child support (and your divorce) with us instead.

Using our extensive knowledge of the complex matters of child support in IL, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support amount that accurately reflects your lives as parents and takes into consideration the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all regular, extraordinary, and future expenses.

• We’ll talk about what it will take to make sure your kids get what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
• Guide you through the difficult, but necessary conversations and educate you on how the decisions you’re making will impact your children now and in the future.
• Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement so you can create an agreement you both find fair and equitable regarding the support of your children.
• Make sure your agreement improves cash flow, minimizes tax issues, and avoids penalties whenever possible.

Because no two situations are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” min_height_medium=”” min_height_small=”” min_height=”” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” flex_justify_content=”flex-start” flex_wrap_medium=”” flex_wrap_small=”” flex_wrap=”wrap” flex_column_spacing=”” hundred_percent_height_center_content=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” container_tag=”div” menu_anchor=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” status=”published” publish_date=”” class=”” id=”” margin_top_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” padding_top_medium=”” padding_right_medium=”” padding_bottom_medium=”” padding_left_medium=”” padding_top_small=”” padding_right_small=”” 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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_button link=”/get-started/” enable_hover_text_icon=”no” hover_text=”” title=”Get Started” target=”_self” link_attributes=”” aria_role_button=”0″ alignment_medium=”” alignment_small=”” alignment=”center” modal=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”btn-style-blue” id=”” color=”custom” button_gradient_top_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” button_gradient_top_color=”var(–awb-custom_color_2)” button_gradient_bottom_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” button_gradient_bottom_color=”var(–awb-color4)” gradient_start_position=”” gradient_end_position=”” gradient_type=”” radial_direction=”” linear_angle=”180″ accent_hover_color=”” accent_color=”var(–awb-color5)” type=”” bevel_color=”” bevel_color_hover=”” border_top=”2px” border_right=”2px” border_bottom=”2px” border_left=”2px” border_radius_top_left=”30px” border_radius_top_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” border_color=”var(–awb-color5)” size=”large” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” fusion_font_family_button_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_button_font=”700″ font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” stretch=”default” margin_top=”22px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” icon=”” hover_icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Get Started[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” 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last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ class=”c-anim”]Guide to Chicago Divorce Mediation Services[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”What is divorce mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]Divorce mediation is a process whereby a couple works with a neutral, unbiased third-party known as divorce mediator to help them resolve the issues of divorce. It offers couples a more peaceful alternative to litigation when ending a marriage. As a personal process tailored to your specific circumstances, mediation provides a supportive environment focused on problem-solving rather than confrontation. The objective is to help both parties work together to reach a resolution that addresses everyone’s needs, including those of any children involved.

Mediation’s goal is to help you, and your spouse find mutually beneficial (“win-win”) solutions. Unlike traditional court proceedings, which are often “win-lose.” Mediation allows couples to discuss both required legal matters, as well as issues outside the scope of typical divorce litigation. These may be things like future co-parenting arrangements as children get older, introducing children to new romantic partners, or creative financial solutions such as delaying the sale of a home. This comprehensive approach enables both parties to make informed decisions about their future while maintaining control over the outcome.

Perhaps most significantly, mediation is also the most cost-effective path forward for divorcing couples. Traditional litigation can be extremely expensive and time-consuming, costing in excess of $100,000, while mediation helps parties reach an agreement in a fraction of the time, and for a fraction of the cost. This efficiency not only saves money but also reduces the emotional strain on all involved parties, allowing them to move forward with their lives more quickly and positively.[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How is divorce mediation conducted?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]In Illinois, divorce mediation is conducted either privately or publicly. Private mediation is not mandated by the court and is entered into by the parties voluntarily, with negotiations taking place outside of the courtroom. Whereas public mediation is court-ordered and mandated by a judge in an attempt to prevent the parties from reaching litigation. It may or may not take place in a courtroom.[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of private mediation vs. court-ordered mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]Private mediation is not mandated by the court or a judge. The couple chooses to mediate first, and do so, voluntarily. So if you and your spouse both want to use mediation, you’d hire a private divorce mediator like Joe, which is typically done before you file for divorce. Joe will then guide you through his comprehensive mediation process and help you identify, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the issues surrounding your divorce, privately and confidentially.

On the other hand, if you choose to litigate using a divorce attorney, you’d likely be sent to court-ordered, family law mediation. Many counties in Illinois, including Cook county, have court ordered mediation proceedings whereby a couple litigating will be required to engage in custody and parenting time mediation and an economic (financial) mediation session offered through the family courts.

And while we’re always pleased when couples mediate, no matter what route they took to get there, we feel there are a number of shortcomings with court-ordered mediation:

• First, you don’t get to choose your professional like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with someone you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.
• Second, the approved individuals on the court roster may not be the most experienced. The only requirement to get on the Illinois court-ordered mediator roster is to take a 40-hour training class. So many new mediators get their start in the courts and have little or no “real-world” experience.
• Finally, what if your issues are so complex that even if the court certified mediator isn’t fresh out of training, they still aren’t experienced handling unique issues like yours? While it may be possible to reach agreements through the court’s mediation program, we strongly feel private mediation produces a far better outcome.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the matrimonial issues that require agreement in a Chicago divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

For couples without minor children, there are two issues which need to be negotiated and agreed upon: maintenance and property division. Whereas for cases involving minor children, issues including co-parenting responsibilities and child support, will also need to be discussed and agreed upon.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does mediation in Chicago compare to using family law attorneys?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are significant differences between mediation and using lawyers ranging from the number of professionals involved, approach, cost, speed, control, tone, and more. Highly qualified mediators like us can help you and your family reach highly-customized and lasting agreements, in a less stressful and non contentious manner. So you can remain civil, and if you have children, be the great co-parents they’re counting on you to be.

Read: Mediation vs Divorce Lawyer, to compare these options and learn the many benefits we believe mediation provides.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What does your divorce mediation process look like?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from professional-to-professional. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted requested pre-work and discovery items to us, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse virtually – and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled in your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and frequency of sessions are determined by the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and overcome any impasses encountered along the way.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations. You will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer; however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related Illinois court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional you use to have your divorce filed with the court. Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge as there is no waiting period in Illinois.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

Learn more about how you benefit by mediating with us.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How can you help my family reach lasting agreements when right now, things are so uncertain?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Making decisions about your future during divorce can feel overwhelming, especially when the path ahead seems uncertain. We understand this challenge, which is why we’ve developed our proprietary Change of Circumstance Scenario Planning technique to help you create agreements that stand the test of time. Through our carefully designed process, we guide you through exercises that address not only your present situation but also your short, medium, and long-term future. Together, we craft comprehensive agreements that account for each of these time periods, ensuring all necessary issues are thoroughly addressed.

What sets our approach apart is our forward-thinking framework that allows for future adjustments to be performed by you and your spouse. Our agreements include highly-detailed language that allows for appropriate modifications when needed, helping families avoid costly litigation down the road. This innovative approach is just one example of how we help our clients leave mediation with thorough, comprehensive agreements that provide both immediate clarity and long-term flexibility.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost in Chicago? Is it really cost-effective?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The total cost of mediation varies greatly and is dependent on a number of factors including, but not limited to:

• The experience and expertise of the mediator;
• The thoroughness of their process (if they even have one);
• The comprehensiveness of the services they;
• The relationship dynamic between the parties and willingness to compromise and negotiate the issues.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for a lower hourly rate or flat-fee, but then once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by attorneys (and/or tens of thousands of dollars in the future to address missed issues.) Or you can work with an experienced mediator whose fee might be higher, but who delivers a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on both present and known/potential future issues, which will save you money, time and stress in the long run. Mediation is not “cheap divorce” but it is cost-effective with the average cost of a mediated divorce in Chicago ranging from $6,000 to $10,000.

To learn more, read: The Real Truth Behind Divorce Mediation Costs

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we know if divorce mediation is a viable option for our divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is usually a practical option for your divorce if:

• There’s a level of mutual respect between you and your spouse, and you’re both willing to actively participate;
• You’re both prepared to engage in a “good faith,” honest negotiation requiring full disclosure;
• You’re willing to respect each other’s specific needs and interests, and recognize compromise is a key component of any agreements reached;
• You want a competent divorce expert to help facilitate negotiations between you and your spouse and to provide options for you to both consider, but you both want to make your own decisions and retain full control over your divorce agreement. If one of you wishes to mediate, and one does not, unfortunately mediation will not be an option for you.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is your practice dedicated exclusively to mediating divorces and separations?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. We believe strongly that in order to remain skillful in our field, we must remain dedicated exclusively to mediating family matters of divorce and separation. We do not mediate commercial, civil, elder, or community matters like others (who also mediate divorces) do. Matrimonial issues are complex and in our opinion, require a mediator to be singularly focused.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is a mediator a neutral third party? Or will they give me advice, or tell me what to do?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Unlike an attorney, a mediator cannot give legal advice or tell you what to do. Parties who choose to work with a mediator wish to make their own decisions on issues such as custody or property division, instead of being told what to do by an attorney.

Think of mediators like conductors in an orchestra. Conductors lead the symphony, and mediators lead the mediation process. But conductors don’t make the music, just like mediators don’t make the decisions for the parties. Yet without a conductor, or a mediator, the divorce proceedings would get off track, and the participants wouldn’t know what to do.

Learn more about divorce mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is divorce mediation the same as divorce and family mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a subset and is focused on helping married couples peacefully and cost-effectively end their marriage. Whereas divorce and family mediation is broader in scope, with mediators helping parties also resolve matters related to family, but not directly related to divorce. For example, creating a visitation / child custody arrangement for a child of a Chicago couple who is unmarried, or assisting with the property division of a family-owned business.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between mediation and alternative dispute resolution?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The term “alternative dispute resolution” or ADR for short, refers to any dispute resolution process that eliminates the parties need to hash out their issues and matters in court. Mediation is simply one type of ADR processes. Other common types may include, but are not limited to, collaborative divorce, arbitration, peace circles, and restorative justice. The idea behind ADR is to keep the parties out of expensive and damaging litigation, and instead, with the help of a neutral third party, for parties to reach agreement without having to go to court.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a divorce and dissolution of marriage?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While most people think of divorce and dissolution of marriage as the same thing, in some states they are not.

Some practitioners think of a divorce as being contested, and dissolution of marriage as being uncontested. That is, in a dissolution of marriage, the issues were all handled privately, and many of the steps in a traditional divorce process were skipped (such as hiring an attorney or going to court).

In Illinois, it is common for people to use the terms divorce and dissolution of marriage interchangeably, but as non-attorney mediators, we can’t fully comment on the accuracy of this statement, nor its legal impact on a divorce case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is an uncontested divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In Illinois, an uncontested divorce, also commonly known as a no-fault divorce, is one in which the parties are able to resolve, and come to agreement on, all of their issues, without the need to hire an attorney / attorneys and needing to have the matters decided in court.

When parties can work with a private mediator, all divorces in theory are uncontested divorces. Because a highly skilled Illinois divorce mediator will be able to help a divorcing couple resolve, and come to agreement on, all issues privately. In turn, eliminating the need for either party to hire an attorney and go to court.

One thing that’s important to note, and admittedly it’s a bit of a technicality, is that an “uncontested divorce” isn’t really a “no-fault divorce.” Every divorce has a fault; it’s just that in the case of a divorce process that uses a neutral third-party to come to agreement, the “fault” is commonly referred to “irreconcilable differences.”

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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As a mom or dad preparing to start a divorce in California, your children are most likely your number one concern. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re getting a divorce, how do you make sure they get the financial support they need in order to live healthy and happy lives?

That’s where child support comes in.

And there’s a lot more to California child support than you might think.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Child support in California: What is the purpose?

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]Simply stated, the purpose of child support is to ensure that the financial needs of a divorcing couple’s children are being met by both spouses.

Child support is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon in divorce mediation in California, along with:

• Parenting time
• CA Alimony / Spousal support
• And CA community property (dividing marital property and debts)

But if you’re wondering how child support works in California, it’s important to recognize that this topic is about more than just money.

Many parents think the purpose of child support in California is to make sure they have enough money after they’re divorced to pay for the items their kids need. But that’s only partially correct.

Divorce is hard on children. And the stress can really take a toll on them. Soon you will no longer be husband and wife, but you’ll always be mom and dad.

Child support shows your kids you still love them and care about their well-being.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There are seven guiding principles to the California child support guidelines:

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

1. As parents, your number one priority is to support your child; and
2. Child support is your collective responsibility and based primarily on your incomes and the amount of time each of you spends with your children; and
3. Your children are entitled to share in the current incomes of both of you, and not simply the parent who has the greater amount of parenting time; and
4. While child support belongs to the children and is to be used for their expenses, it may improve the standard of living of the parent with which the child spends a majority of their time; and
5. It’s expensive to live in The Golden State and so the California guideline child support amounts reflect that; and
6. If you’re the parent with a majority of the parenting time, the assumption is you’re spending a fair amount of your own income on raising your children and need some help from the other parent; and
7. Child support guidelines in California are intended to aid you and your spouse in coming to an agreement on appropriate support payments for your children without the need to go to court.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining child support in California:

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

• While there are child support guidelines in California, they can be deviated from, they don’t include all the expenses required to raise a child, and they aren’t applicable in all situations.
• Despite significant increases in mortgage interest rates, housing prices in California continue to remain stubbornly high, making establishing two households post-divorce challenging for all but the most well-off families.
• With so many California parents working in tech, continuing waves of layoffs in the sector will impact their ability to provide previously agreed upon child support amounts, when their incomes involuntarily change.
• This topic has less to do with formulas and child support law and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s best for your kids.
• There is more than meets the eye on the issue of child support in CA and in the majority of cases, this subject is much too complex for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best result by mediating your California divorce with us.

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The California child support guidelines are only a starting point for negotiations.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]Federal law requires all 50 states to have a mechanized way by which to calculate child support. So every state has a child support guideline and the formulas vary from state to state. Some states use a simple percentage-based formula. You’d simply take a share of the supporting party’s income and pay it to the other party and you’re done.

But not in California.

Determining child support in California is a very complex undertaking.

California uses something called the Income Shares model. The income shares model attempts to take into account a number of factors including:

• Your net incomes;
• The age(s) of your child(ren);
• The number of overnights the children spends with each spouse;
• Who takes them as a tax deduction;
• How much each of you voluntarily contributes to your 401(k) or other retirement plans;
• You and your children’s health insurance costs;
• The amount of mortgage interest and property taxes you each pay; and
• Any mandatory retirement contributions; and
• Any mandatory union dues.

There are also a number of other “add-ons” which may be considered a factor such as:

• The total cost of child care; and
• Educational costs for the children; and
• Any special needs your child may have that require additional funding; and
• Any visitation-related travel expenses were one of you to live a great distance from the other; and
• Any out-of-pocket medical expenses such as deductibles, co-pays, or other non-covered expenses.

Starting to see why this is so complicated?

Now assuming you’ve got all of that, and can enter all this data into the California child support calculator, the output may or may not accurately represent what is truly required to raise your kids!

You see in California, just like everywhere else in the United States, the amount outputted by the guideline is an estimation of what it costs to raise your children. And it can be deviated from if in your case, you and your spouse choose to do so.

Plus, many of the so-called “factors” mentioned above are difficult to agree on. For example, according to the list above, the amount of mortgage interest and property taxes you each pay is a factor. So does that mean you might have to decide how to divide your community property (i.e. your assets and liabilities) to understand which one of you might be staying in the house and incurring those mortgage interest and real estate tax expenses before you determine child support?

Didn’t see that coming, did you?

And, what is an appropriate amount to voluntarily contribute to your 401(k) or other retirement vehicles? It’s been my experience since two households are more expensive to run than one and California is a very expensive state to live in, that 401(k) contributions are usually the first things to get cut post-divorce. The money that used to go towards retirement is now needed by divorcing couples to simply get by on a day-to-day basis, even if it means potentially delaying your retirement and reducing your savings.

And don’t forget – this guideline was developed by the State of California. But the State of California doesn’t know the exact amount required to ensure your kids are properly supported so they’ll thrive.

Only you know what it actually costs to raise your kids!

So while you might think you simply run the guideline and use the number calculated, it’s not even close. The reality is, the number isn’t a hard and fast formula, but rather, a suggestion. And it’s just a starting point for negotiation.

From there, it’s up to you and your spouse to negotiate an agreement that’s in the best interests of your children and that you both find fair.

Which is not so easy to do.

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hover_type=”none” border_sizes=”” border_color_hover=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” border_radius=”” box_shadow=”no” dimension_box_shadow=”” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ box_shadow_color=”” box_shadow_style=”” z_index_hover=”” z_index=”” overflow=”” background_type=”single” background_color_medium=”” background_color_small=”” background_color_medium_hover=”” background_color_small_hover=”” background_color_hover=”” background_color=”” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ background_image_medium=”” background_image_small=”” background_image=”” background_image_id_medium=”” background_image_id_small=”” background_image_id=”” lazy_load=”none” skip_lazy_load=”” background_position_medium=”” background_position_small=”” background_position=”left top” background_repeat_medium=”” background_repeat_small=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_size_medium=”” background_size_small=”” background_size=”” background_custom_size=”” background_custom_size_medium=”” background_custom_size_small=”” background_blend_mode_medium=”” background_blend_mode_small=”” background_blend_mode=”none” background_slider_images=”” background_slider_position=”” background_slider_skip_lazy_loading=”no” background_slider_loop=”yes” background_slider_pause_on_hover=”no” background_slider_slideshow_speed=”5000″ background_slider_animation=”fade” background_slider_direction=”up” background_slider_animation_speed=”800″ background_slider_blend_mode=”” render_logics=”” sticky=”off” sticky_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_offset=”” absolute=”off” absolute_props=”” filter_type=”regular” filter_hover_element=”self” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″ transform_type=”regular” transform_hover_element=”self” transform_scale_x=”1″ transform_scale_y=”1″ transform_translate_x=”0″ transform_translate_y=”0″ transform_rotate=”0″ transform_skew_x=”0″ transform_skew_y=”0″ transform_scale_x_hover=”1″ transform_scale_y_hover=”1″ transform_translate_x_hover=”0″ transform_translate_y_hover=”0″ transform_rotate_hover=”0″ transform_skew_x_hover=”0″ transform_skew_y_hover=”0″ transform_origin=”” transition_duration=”300″ transition_easing=”ease” transition_custom_easing=”” motion_effects=”” scroll_motion_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ animation_offset=”” last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true”][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

What really belongs in the California child support guidelines?

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]So far, you’ve learned the child support guidelines attempt to provide divorcing parents with an estimate of the minimum payment amount of financial support needed to raise their kids. And then it allocates a portion of that amount to each spouse based on a number of factors.

But even when you run the guideline, there will likely be controversy regarding which expenses should be included and how to handle those that aren’t.

As parents, I’m sure you would agree that you have to provide at least a basic level of support to your children. Food in their bellies, a roof over their heads, and clothes on their backs.

But after that, what’s in and what’s out is often the subject of much debate.

First is the issue with the California child support guideline itself. Previously, we talked about how childcare was one of the factors in the child support guideline. But should it really be included?

Let’s say, for example, you and your spouse have a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. And both of you are currently working full-time outside the marital home. In this case, yes, including your daycare expenses in your child support award makes sense. Now a few years go by, and your children are now 8 and 6. Jacob, the 8-year-old is playing soccer and you have a friend who brings him back to their house after practice every day so you don’t need to pay for aftercare. And Emily is enrolled in gymnastics which lasts until 5 pm when you get off of work. So again, no need to pay for daycare or aftercare.

But back when you got divorced, your child support award included funds for daycare. So in theory, the child support amount is too high. So now you have to open old wounds and attempt to renegotiate the amount. Ugh!

Then, there’s the matter of the items that were not covered in any California child support guideline calculation.

Such as:

• Prom dresses and tuxes;
• Laptops and smartphones;
• Dance classes;
• Summer camps;
• Car insurance;
• Music lessons;

And the list goes on and on…

We commonly refer to these as “extraordinary” expenses and they are not typically included in the basic child support amount. These items must be discussed and negotiated separately to ensure your children get the financial support they need and deserve. Because let’s face it, the items listed above tend to be among the most expensive of all!

Starting to see why determining CA child support is not as simple as using some free calculator you may have found on the Internet?[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There are other issues to be decided regarding child support in California.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

In addition to the basic and extraordinary costs associated with raising your children, you and your spouse will also need to discuss and come to an agreement on:

• Who deducts the children on their taxes;
• Who will pay for their health insurance;
• Whether you have enough life insurance to cover the children’s expenses now and also when they go off to college;
• How college will be paid for;
• The duration child support in California is paid (because for some children, it may extend beyond age 18)

Making the list of what is not resolved by running the guidelines longer and longer.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

The California child support guidelines aren’t clear on how to handle all situations.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]Back when I was a kid, it seemed the way my parents got paid was a lot simpler than it is today. Mom was paid hourly, Dad was paid a flat salary, and that was that. They pretty much knew week-to-week and month-to-month how much income they were going to earn and take home.

Today, compensation has gotten far more complex.

Bonuses, stock options, RSU’s, commission, deferred compensation – you name it – can all play a significant role in how someone earns a living. And these compensation vehicles may not be paid out on a regular basis. In some cases, the amount earned using these “exotic” compensation methods may far exceed the amount an employee receives through a basic salary amount. So predicting what their amounts are for the purposes of determining child support can be difficult.

Add to that more and more people are starting their own businesses, and you’ve got some real challenges when it comes to calculating the California child support guidelines.

How much is too much?

Some states limit the amount of income that is used when determining child support. The theory is that at some point, the child support award may be so high because the parent’s salary is so high, that it will far exceed what the child really needs. But not necessarily in California.

Remember back when we said your children were entitled to share in the current incomes of both of you? Technically, that’s the intention behind the guideline.

But at what point does a child support amount become too much?

That is a topic of great debate, one that’s not answered in the child support guidelines and subject to negotiations by you and your spouse.

What about cases where parenting time is equal?

With nearly half of our clients agreeing on a 50-50 time-sharing arrangement, this is a real dilemma as the California guidelines don’t explicitly have a way to handle this.

Remember, child support is typically paid by the parent with the fewer number of overnights with the children. But in this case, you and your spouse agreed to a 50-50 parenting plan giving each of you an equal number of overnights. How then do the child support guidelines work if you’ve got to choose one of you as the primary parent?

The short answer is – they don’t.

In either of the cases I described above, you and your spouse would have no choice but to skip the guidelines and negotiate instead.

Which is not always so easy to do.

And the answer to “when does child support end in California” isn’t as simple as you might think.

The theory in California is that child support ends when a child turns 18 and graduates from high school. So it would seem that child support ends at age 18. Right?

Maybe… But what happens if they commute to college? Don’t go to college? Boomerang back home after college?

The truth is there can be exceptions agreed upon by you and your spouse. As parents, the two of you have quite a bit of latitude to decide what works for your children, in your unique situation and circumstances.

So while child support can end at age 18, more often than not, it doesn’t.[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a family court judge determines child support.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because they’ll dictate a child support order and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate this issue out of the courts and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In mediation, you get to decide – and come to a child support payment (and agreement) that puts your children first and you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger in court.[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

You will get the best CA child support result by mediating with us.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]California child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support on your own.

Use divorce mediation and work with us instead!

Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of child support in California, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support amount that accurately reflects your lives as parents and the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all basic, extraordinary, and future expenses.

• We’ll talk about who your children are, what they like to do, and what it will take to make sure they’re getting what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
• Work through specialized cases like child support for when you share in the care of your children equally. We’ll also explore arrangements in which the children spend a majority of their time with one parent as this, too, can have its own special approach.
• Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement and create an agreement you both find fair and equitable regarding the support of your children.
• Make sure your agreement minimizes tax issues, avoids penalties, and improves cash flow whenever possible.

Because no two situations or sets of circumstances are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

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border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” border_color=”var(–awb-color5)” size=”large” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” fusion_font_family_button_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_button_font=”700″ font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” stretch=”default” margin_top=”22px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” icon=”” hover_icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Get Started[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” 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animation_delay=”0.5″ last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ class=”c-anim”]Guide to Divorce Mediation in California[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between private mediation and mediation through the California courts?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Unlike other states which offer court-connected mediation programs to help couples resolve all issues related to their divorce, in California, “full cycle” mediation is only conducted privately. Couples will hire a mediator, typically before they file with the court, to help them negotiate and come to agreement on all issues surrounding their divorce.

In California, the only option to participate in court-ordered mediation is for child custody mediation. So if you and your spouse were to disagree on any financial matters such as child support, spousal support, or community property division, you’d be on your own to resolve the differences between you.

Or if you were unable – which is quite common – you would need to hire a private neutral third party mediator, or family law attorney, to help you reach an agreement. As you can see, there is a big difference in completeness between private mediation and court-connected mediation. Which is why couples who wish to mediate, do so privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is divorce mediation required in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. Divorce mediation is not required in California, although it is encouraged. California courts only mandate mediation for child custody disputes.

If you and your spouse wish to mediate all divorce issues comprehensively, you would need to pursue private mediation.

While you certainly have the right to each hire an attorney and litigate your divorce, we’ve found that given the proven effectiveness and efficiency of mediation, many couples are instead choosing to peacefully resolve the issues surrounding their divorce by hiring a private mediator like us.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the California divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session.

In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online – using Zoom – and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe – and depends greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related California court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to have your divorce filed with the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge typically in six to nine months as there is a six-month waiting period in California.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a lawyer if I use a divorce mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Some people choose to speak with a divorce lawyer throughout the mediation, or after mediation is completed. Especially if they want advice on family law matters as giving advice is not something a mediator is permitted to do – even if they are a lawyer. This is your divorce, so if you’d like to get a lawyer’s perspective on a particular issue(s), we would encourage you do so. However you are not required at any point in your divorce to work with, or speak to, an attorney if you so choose.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do my spouse and I have to be in agreement on any or all issues before starting mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. You are not required to have everything decided before starting mediation. In fact, many divorcing couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them discuss and resolve the issues. This way, they can ensure all issues will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the time and attention they require.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will mediation work in complex cases?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all California mediators, for us the answer is a resounding yes. Given our expertise working with employees or founders of equity backed startups, divorces after a long-term marriage, divorce with a business involved, and those involving high assets, complicated compensation, variable compensation and deferred compensation issues, and gray divorces, most cases we handle have a high degree of complexity.

More about who we help

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will mediation work in a high-conflict divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

It depends. While mediation allows divorcing couples to negotiate and come to an agreement they both find fair, communication difficulties which are typical of a high-conflict divorce, often prevent them from working directly with each other – which is a key requirement in mediation. If they’re willing to work with our divorce coach Cheryl and put their emotions aside, then yes, they can mediate. Otherwise divorce mediation is not recommended.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How is working with a mediator different than collaborative divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While both the divorce mediation and collaborative divorce process choose to focus on keeping a couple out of court, there are a significant number of ways in which they are different. That’s why we wrote this article about mediation vs the collaborative process to help you understand the differences between the two divorce options, and the advantages we believe https://equitablemediation.commediation provides.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a California divorce mediator and a divorce mediation attorney?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorneys, some are mental health professionals. While others, like Joe, have a financial background. Regardless of their backgrounds, an experienced mediator should be able to address all issues a couple faces. However in our opinion, since 3 of the 4 issues in a divorce are financial in nature, we believe it’s best to choose a mediator with a strong financial acumen.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediators give me legal advice or tell me what to do?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. A mediator cannot give you legal advice – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as a neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice. If you do want or need advice a mediator may recommend you speak to a lawyer but the decision to do so is entirely up to you.

Read our helpful article to learn more about the differences between mediators and lawyers for divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the cost of divorce mediation in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

When exploring divorce mediation costs, many people initially focus on hourly rates or flat fees. However, the total expense involves much more than the mediator’s upfront charges.

The Experience of Your Mediator

An experienced mediator does more than simply facilitate current discussions. They strategically help you and your spouse address both present and potential future issues, creating a comprehensive agreement that can prevent costly complications down the line.

Consider this: resolving a missed issue or modifying a divorce decree after the fact can cost between $10,000 and $20,000. Ex-spouses are typically less cooperative after divorce, making post-divorce negotiations significantly more challenging and expensive. A thorough agreement developed during mediation is an investment in cost avoidance.

Services Included in Mediation

Not all mediation services are created equal. Some mediators offer comprehensive support that can ultimately save you money, including:

• Emotional support and divorce coaching
• Drafting detailed, easily understood written agreements
• Comprehensive issue resolution that minimizes the need for future legal interventions
• Flexibility regarding attorney involvement

While an inexperienced mediator might offer a lower initial fee, the long-term costs can be substantial. You might end up spending an additional $3,500 to $5,000 having agreements re-drafted by attorneys, or $10,000 to $20,000 resolving unforeseen issues.

Understanding the Total Cost

Divorce mediation in California typically ranges from $6,000 to $10,000. This includes the mediator’s fee, filing professional’s fee, and court fees. However, the true cost depends on multiple factors: the comprehensiveness of services, the mediator’s experience, and the potential for future legal interventions. When choosing a mediator, consider the value of a thorough, forward-thinking approach that can save you time, money, and stress in the long run.

To learn more, read: The Real Truth Behind Divorce Mediation Costs

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is mediation cheaper than divorce litigation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Absolutely. The average cost of mediation is between $6,000 and $10,000. Whereas with divorce litigation, according to an article published in the Motley Fool, will cost couples on average $46,600 – but with one important caveat. If the issues to be litigated include alimony or child support, that amount can skyrocket. With average costs of a litigated divorce exceeding $100,000.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does a divorce in California take using mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the length of the process varies by couple and the complexities of their case and interpersonal dynamics, generally speaking, mediation with us can be completed in 8-12 weeks. That includes time for you to complete financial discovery, meet with the mediator for typically 2 to 4 mediation sessions, give the mediator time to draft your written agreement (MOU), and for you to have time to review it and provide feedback. Once mediation is completed, you will then enter the filing phase to complete your divorce with the California courts. It is here where the process slows down as there is a 6-month waiting period in California, so your divorce will not be final until that waiting period has passed, and your divorce has been ordered by the courts.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is mediation recommended in a California divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The mediation process is known to be a viable option for you and your spouse if:

• There is a degree of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you are both willing to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process;
• You and your spouse are both willing to engage in an honest, transparent and “good faith” negotiation including full financial disclosure;
• You want an experienced professional mediator to help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required issues, but you want to make your own decisions, retain full control over your divorce agreement, and avoid litigation and/or attorney involvement.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is mediation not recommended?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In order for it to work, mediation depends on three things. The first is full disclosure. Because mediation is what’s known as a “good faith negotiation” it requires that both spouses provide any and all financial documentation asked for by the mediator, or the other spouse, and truthfully answer any questions asked of them.

Second is mental acuity. Because you and your spouse will be making your own decisions, you must both be of “sound mind” and be able to understand complex concepts.

Finally, there can be no restraining order in effect. Because a mediator will typically speak with both spouses simultaneously, they must both be able to interact with each, and there can be no legal order preventing them from doing so. If you and your spouse do not meet these requirements, mediation will not work for your divorce case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”In California, do the parties have to go to court to get a divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. There is no requirement that the parties go to family court in California order to get a divorce provided the proper information is exchanged between the parties, all issues and disputes are resolved and agreed upon, and the proper paperwork such as your Marital Settlement Agreement and divorce petition is drafted and filed with family court services.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the residency requirements in a divorce in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You must be a resident of the state for six (6) months, and the county you wish to file in for three (3). If you’ve recently moved, and don’t yet meet the California residency requirements, you can always begin the mediation process, work through the issues with the guidance of your mediator, and then file your divorce or legal separation. In our experience, parties can come to resolution on all issues, and have a settlement agreement in hand, within four to six months. Thus allowing time to pass, and moving the parties closer to meeting the residency requirements.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between family law mediation and divorce mediation in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married California parents make decisions on, and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process. While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a mediator, could fall under its umbrella, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can I still mediate if domestic violence is an issue?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

If you and your spouse are not permitted to be in the same room with each other, but are permitted telephone contact with each other, then our online mediation process may be an option if there is domestic violence or a power imbalance in your relationship.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout California from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in cities such as: Los Angeles, San Diego, San Jose, San Francisco, Fresno, Sacramento, Long Beach, Oakland, Bakersfield, Anaheim, Santa Ana, Riverside, Stockton, Irvine, Chula Vista, Fremont, San Bernardino, Modesto, Moreno Valley, Fontana, Santa Clarita, Oxnard, Huntington Beach, Glendale, Ontario, Rancho Cucamonga, Oceanside, Santa Rosa, Garden Grove, Elk Grove, Corona, Hayward, Lancaster, Palmdale, Salinas, Sunnyvale, Pomona, Escondido, Torrance, Roseville, Pasadena, Orange, Fullerton, Visalia, Santa Clara, Concord, Thousand Oaks, Simi Valley, Victorville, and Vallejo.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Your marriage is ending and the same worries and fears keep circling through your mind:

“Will I have enough money to keep the house?”

“How will I be able to make ends meet?”

“What will I do for health insurance?”

“How will I be able to pay my bills and save for retirement?”

In divorce, all of these fears are normal and have the very same thing in common: Money. When it comes to money and divorce, there’s one issue that’s more emotional, more stressful, causes more disagreements and is harder to resolve than any other.

Whether you call it spousal support, alimony or maintenance, coming to agreement on an amount of money that one ex-spouse will pay to the other to cover their expenses, while still having enough money left to cover their own, is difficult, to say the least. And the topic of spousal support in Washington state is a complicated one.

In this post, we’ll take a closer look at this complex and controversial topic. And shed some light on what a divorcing couple can do to come an alimony agreement they both find fair.

* Note: We’ll use the terms maintenance, alimony, and spousal support interchangeably for the purposes of this article.

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What is the purpose of alimony in Washington?

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Alimony is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon by the parties in mediation along with:

• Parenting plans
• Child support
• And community property division (dividing your property, assets and liabilities)

In Washington state, the purpose of spousal support can vary depending on the length of your marriage.

For example, if you’ve been married a short time, the purpose of alimony may be an “economic reset.” Meaning that some amount of alimony would be paid from one ex-spouse to the other to help the lower earning spouse get back on their feet. And give them just enough time to transition from married to single.

If you’re in a medium-term marriage, spousal support may serve several different purposes. Initially, it may serve as income replacement. Putting you and your ex-spouse’s post-marital lifestyles on par with each other. Then, after some period, spousal support may be “downwardly modified.” Meaning that the amount being paid or received would be reduced. Alimony would then act as a supplement to the income (hopefully) being earned from employment by the recipient spouse.

And finally, the spousal support would taper off over time to zero. Giving the recipient spouse a “soft-landing” and helping them avoid a financial cliff.

But what about divorce after a long-term marriage? What is the purpose of spousal support in those cases? If you and your spouse have been married a long time, alimony may serve to equalize your lifestyles for many years, if not permanently. In many long-term marriages, the recipient spouse may never have enough time to catch-up financially. Leaving them entirely dependent on alimony for the rest of their lives. And jeopardizing the possibility of retirement for the spouse paying alimony.

Regardless of the length of your marriage, alimony is always based on need. It’s not meant to unjustly enrich one party or penalize the other. Also, alimony is gender neutral.

And its purpose can be extremely challenging to agree on.

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There are a few things you need to understand about the challenges of determining alimony in Washington state:

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• The law is extremely vague on how to resolve issues of alimony. Washington state provides very little in the way of guidance;
• If you have children, child support may affect the amount of spousal support you pay or receive;
• The division of your community property will also play a role in determining alimony, further complicating negotiations;
• While inflation has returned to more “normal” levels, the cost-of-living remains elevated, and spousal support will need to stretch even further;
• While on the surface, it might appear as if this tax change benefits the recipient and hurts the payor, it actually negatively impacts both parties;
• This topic has less to do with alimony laws and more to do with money and negotiation;
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and this topic is much too complex (and emotional) for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best outcome by mediating.

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There is no such thing as an alimony calculator in Washington state.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Over the past few years, a handful of states have begun using a formula to determine alimony.

But unfortunately, there is no formula for calculating alimony in Washington.

Washington provides some general guidelines regarding alimony, but nothing explicit to help you determine a specific amount of spousal support applicable to your circumstances in your case.

The Washington state factors may include, but are not limited to:

(1) The financial resources of the party seeking maintenance, including separate or community property apportioned to him or her, and his or her ability to meet his or her needs independently, including the extent to which a provision for support of a child living with the party includes a sum for that party;

(2) The time necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the party seeking maintenance to find employment appropriate to his or her skill, interests, style of life, and other attendant circumstances;

(3) The standard of living established during the marriage or domestic partnership;

(4) The duration of the marriage or domestic partnership;

(5) The age, physical and emotional condition, and financial obligations of the spouse or domestic partner seeking maintenance; and

(6) The ability of the spouse or domestic partner from whom maintenance is sought to meet his or her needs and financial obligations while meeting those of the spouse or domestic partner seeking maintenance.

Even with these factors, there is little guidance on how to resolve this topic. And not one of the “factors” listed above results in an actual dollar amount or specific alimony payment.

Leaving you and your spouse no choice but to negotiate it. Which, given the nature of divorce itself and specifically, this heated issue, is very difficult to do.

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Don’t forget about cost of living.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

As if figuring out Washington spousal support wasn’t hard enough, there’s yet one more factor we need to add to the mix. And that factor is where you live.

Say your marital home was in Seattle, in King County, and you’re the party who will be paying alimony. But your spouse decides to move to Olympia post-divorce, to be near family. Do you pay alimony to them based on what it cost you both to live in Seattle while you were married? Or, do you pay them based on what it will cost to live in Olympia – recognizing it will be 44.2% less expensive to live there? Good question…

And speaking of the cost of living, even though inflation has returned to more normal levels it doesn’t mean it can’t spike back up in the future. If 5 years from now, rent, utilities, gas, and groceries are all 25% more expensive than they now, how do you account for that now, at the time of your divorce?

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Determining an amount of alimony is just one piece of a larger picture.

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You also need to determine duration.

And just like determining an amount, duration is not so easy to agree on. If you were in a short term marriage, maybe the duration should only a few months. But what if you have children? And you’re soon-to-be-ex spouse is unable to return to work right away? And if you were married a long time, what happens when you want to retire?

Good question.

There is no set formula for determining how many years you need to pay alimony in Washington state.

The answer once again is you and your spouse will have to negotiate it.

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When thinking of spousal support, most people think of the “check in the mail” approach.

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But there are other, more creative ways to resolve this because some payor spouses just don’t like making alimony payments.

For example, sometimes people will trade alimony for community property in their case. Or do a lump sum alimony payment or an alimony buyout. And in some cases, pay for their ex-spouse to return to school. The thinking being if they become self-sufficient, the need for spousal support may be eliminated, or greatly reduced.

The bottom line is there’s no such thing as “typical alimony” payments.

And there are many different ways to resolve this issue.

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There is more than meets the eye when it comes to alimony in Washington.

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Alimony is not a one-size-fits-all topic and every couple’s situation, circumstances and determining factors are unique. So coming to a fair agreement on alimony with your soon-to-be ex-spouse requires more than just a passing conversation or a wild guess. And as you’re starting to see, there’s a lot involved in this highly complex matter.

And a lot of places you can make costly mistakes.

In the majority of cases, this issue is much too complex and emotionally charged for you to attempt to determine on your own, especially if you have a long-term marriage.

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When lawyers get involved, it’s a problem.

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Because there’s no formula or hard and fast alimony laws in Washington state, if you go the divorce attorney route, your lawyers can drag your negotiations on for years.

Fighting and fighting. Around and around in circles – in a very gray area. All while billing you their outrageous hourly fees.

Until neither you nor your spouse has any money left to keep paying your legal fees. And there’s no money left for alimony! Just one more reason it’s better for both spouses not to involve lawyers in their divorce negotiations.

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When a judge gets involved, it’s a problem.

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And if the issue cannot be resolved between the two of you and your lawyers, your case will go to litigation in court.

There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines who gets what on a case-by-case basis. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Because they’ll dictate the terms of the settlement in court and tell you what you’re going to pay or receive.

And each of you might wind up with an alimony outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your needs.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate an amount and duration each spouse finds fair. And negotiation is exactly what divorce mediation is all about. In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement you both agree is fair, out of court – instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger.

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You’ll get the best result by mediating your no-fault divorce.

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Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of alimony and divorce, we’ll discuss your options for maintenance in Washington state. And we’ll help you and your husband or wife understand how other aspects of your divorce settlement may impact your spousal support agreement.

We’ll also actively guide you through our comprehensive budgeting process to reflect your marital expenses as well as your projected expenses post-divorce. So we can take a close look together at what each of you earn, spend and will need to move forward.

And determine how, if at all, the division of your community property and debts and expenses related to your children will factor in when determining an amount and duration. We’ll then help you negotiate a maintenance result you both find fair and will best allow you to fulfill your financial obligations after you’re divorced.

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Equitable Mediation enables you to get a fair maintenance outcome.

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Why be forced to accept a settlement created by a family law attorney or judge when you can have a direct say in your financial future instead?

If you want to arrive at an agreement on maintenance that’s fair to each of you and doesn’t bankrupt you in the process, mediate your divorce with Equitable Mediation.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_button link=”/get-started/” enable_hover_text_icon=”no” hover_text=”” title=”Get Started” target=”_self” link_attributes=”” aria_role_button=”0″ alignment_medium=”” alignment_small=”” alignment=”center” modal=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”btn-style-blue” id=”” color=”custom” button_gradient_top_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” button_gradient_top_color=”var(–awb-custom_color_2)” button_gradient_bottom_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” button_gradient_bottom_color=”var(–awb-color4)” gradient_start_position=”” gradient_end_position=”” gradient_type=”” radial_direction=”” linear_angle=”180″ accent_hover_color=”” accent_color=”var(–awb-color5)” type=”” bevel_color=”” bevel_color_hover=”” border_top=”2px” border_right=”2px” border_bottom=”2px” border_left=”2px” border_radius_top_left=”30px” border_radius_top_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” border_color=”var(–awb-color5)” size=”large” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” fusion_font_family_button_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_button_font=”700″ font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” stretch=”default” margin_top=”22px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” icon=”” hover_icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Get Started[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” 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valign_content=”flex-start” content_wrap=”wrap” center_content=”no” column_tag=”div” target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” order_medium=”0″ order_small=”0″ hover_type=”none” border_style=”solid” box_shadow=”no” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ background_type=”single” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ lazy_load=”none” background_position=”left top” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_blend_mode=”none” background_slider_skip_lazy_loading=”no” background_slider_loop=”yes” background_slider_pause_on_hover=”no” background_slider_slideshow_speed=”5000″ background_slider_animation=”fade” background_slider_direction=”up” background_slider_animation_speed=”800″ sticky=”off” sticky_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” absolute=”off” filter_type=”regular” filter_hover_element=”self” filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″ filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ transform_type=”regular” transform_hover_element=”self” transform_scale_x_hover=”1″ transform_scale_y_hover=”1″ transform_translate_x_hover=”0″ transform_translate_y_hover=”0″ transform_rotate_hover=”0″ transform_skew_x_hover=”0″ transform_skew_y_hover=”0″ transform_scale_x=”1″ transform_scale_y=”1″ transform_translate_x=”0″ transform_translate_y=”0″ transform_rotate=”0″ transform_skew_x=”0″ transform_skew_y=”0″ transition_duration=”300″ transition_easing=”ease” motion_effects=”W10=” scroll_motion_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]Guide to Divorce Mediation in Washington State[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”How is mediation conducted for divorces in Washington State?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In Washington State divorce mediation is a confidential process and may either be conducted using the family law court-supported Washington State Dispute Resolution Center (DRC), or conducted privately by working with Seattle divorce mediators like us.

While both the DRC and private mediators provide mediation services, and remain neutral throughout the proceedings, the DRC may not be best equipped to handle the complexities that most divorcing clients typically have.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between court-supported mediation and private mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are three major differences between court-supported mediation and private mediation in

First, when mediation is court-supported, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.

Second, the mediators may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a court-supported mediator in Seattle is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no real-world experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-supported mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

In our opinion, it’s always better to hire a private mediator to handle your divorce case.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is always better when conducted privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the Seattle divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and  your spouse prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help the two of you and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to the mediator the pre-work and discovery items required, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to offer possible solutions, help you explore and negotiate each option, and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will each be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, along with a host of other related King County court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge in 90 days as there is a waiting period in Washington State.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the main benefits of mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation can help couples navigate divorce more peacefully and efficiently, without the cost and stress of lengthy court battles. This confidential process allows the parties to work together in a supportive environment, focusing on finding solutions that work for everyone involved. Rather than leaving decisions to a judge, parties decide their own outcome, which often leads to more satisfying and lasting agreements.

Through mediation, we help the parties reach common ground on important issues like property division, parenting arrangements, and financial matters. The flexible nature of mediation makes it possible to explore creative solutions that might not be available in traditional court proceedings. Because you maintain control of the process, you’re often able to reach agreements that better reflect your family’s unique needs.

Given our extensive experience, we’re able to help nearly all of our mediation cases settle successfully, helping minimize both emotional and financial stress. By choosing mediation, couples can work toward resolution without getting caught up in the adversarial court system, preserving important relationships and setting a positive tone for future interactions, especially when children are involved.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How can I convince my spouse to mediate?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, divorce mediation is a voluntary process. In our experience, what typically happens is there’s one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a divorce attorney if I am using a Seattle mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no requirement in Seattle, King County or Washington State that parties have to retain a lawyer as involving attorneys is a matter of personal choice. While some clients choose to hire a Seattle family law attorney to review their settlement agreement (known as a Memorandum of Understanding in mediation) or provide legal advice during or after the mediation process, others explicitly choose to divorce without the involvement of lawyers. If you’d like the perspective of a divorce lawyer on a one or more family law matters, you are encouraged to do so.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do my spouse and I have to be in agreement on any or all matters prior to starting the Washington State divorce process?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will divorce mediation work in complex divorces in King County?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all King County mediators, for us the answer is yes. We’ve successfully mediated divorce for employees of numerous King County employers including Amazon, Boeing, Kirkland, Microsoft, Shopify, and U of Washington among many others. Given the types of compensation these employers typically offer their employees, most of our cases have a high degree of complexity including complicated compensation such as stock options and restricted stock units, along with other variable compensation components like bonuses and commissions, as well as deferred compensation packages including pensions. We are also well versed in divorces involving a business, high assets, divorce after long-term marriage, and grey divorce.

Read case studies and learn who we help

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does mediation compare to other dispute resolution processes like collaborative divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the goal of both of these divorce options is to help couples avoid court, there are significant ways they differ from the number of professionals involved, the cost, the timing, among many other factors. You can learn more in our post: Divorce Mediation Versus Collaborative Law Process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a divorce mediator and a divorce mediation lawyer?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorney mediators, so they may refer to themselves as a “divorce mediation attorney” or “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some are mental health professionals. While others, like Equitable Mediation founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between family law mediation and divorce mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married Washington parents make decisions on and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process.

While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a family law mediator, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a divorce mediator give me legal advice?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. They cannot and must remain impartial – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as an unbiased, neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice.

You can learn more about the differences between divorce mediation and divorce lawyers in this post.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can you really help us find common ground? We don’t seem to agree on much.” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. As a professionally trained mediator with more than 25 years of experience, I’ve found that couples can reach agreement when both parties are willing to engage in good-faith negotiations and approach the process with an openness to compromise.

What often surprises couples is that they actually agree on more than they realize. When emotions are running high, it’s natural to focus on points of conflict while overlooking areas where they’re in lock step. Sometimes, couples don’t even recognize when they’re in agreement until I point it out – which makes sense given that communication difficulties are a common cause of divorce.

People who choose mediation typically want to keep things peaceful. And it’s this shared goal that already creates common ground. When you explain to them what will happen if they don’t reach agreement in mediation – i.e. they’ll be forced into a more contentious divorce process – they’re more likely to compromise and reach agreement.

In my experience, when couples participate together in mediation, and have to look each other in the eye when they make an offer, it becomes harder to propose unfair solutions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does a divorce cost in Washington State when mediation is used?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation costs vary depending on the skill level and experience of the mediator, scope of services included and case complexities. If you’re wondering about the cost of divorce mediation, you might be focusing on the mediator’s hourly rate, or in our case, flat-fee. But there are a number of other equally, if not more important factors contributing to the overall cost of divorce mediation.

One is the mediator’s experience. You may be thinking naturally, a more experience a mediator has a higher fee. But that’s not what we’re talking about. An experienced mediator is going to be sure to cover present and known and potential future issues. This way, you’ll likely avoid having to return to mediation (or worse yet, court) and spend more money down the line when circumstances change.

It’s expensive (and stressful) to try to resolve a missed issue and modify your divorce decree, so the more thorough your agreement is at the time of your divorce will be a cost-avoidance for you in the future.

Another factor attributed to cost is the services included in the mediation. For example, some Seattle mediators like us offer divorce coaching for emotional support, while other mediators don’t. Or whether the mediator drafts a thorough written agreement, or a simple agreement that would need to be re-written by an attorney at an additional cost to you. And some mediators may even require each spouse to hire an attorney to review their agreement, while others who believe in the power of self-determination, don’t.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for what you think is a low fee, but once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by an attorney, or potentially another $10,000- $20,000 in the future to resolve missed issues.

Or you can choose an experienced mediator who might have a higher fee, but who will provide a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on present and anticipated future issues, which in turn, will save you a lot of money in the long run.

Each mediator has their own mediation fee structure, but the average cost of divorce mediation in Washington State is between $6,000 to $10,000

Because we develop a customized mediation plan for each couple, based on their unique needs and circumstances, fees for our divorce mediation services vary. But even the most complex cases cost a fraction of traditional litigation using family law attorneys or collaborative law process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do I know if mediation is a realistic option for my uncontested divorce in Seattle?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is a feasible option if:

• You and your spouse are both ready to take part in a good faith and transparent negotiation which requires full financial disclosure;
• There is some level of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you’re both ready to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process and will only work if you are both committed to it;
• You would like to have an experienced professional mediator help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required divorce issues, but you want full control over your divorce agreement and want to make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, but one of you does not, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option in your case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Are divorce mediation and arbitration the same thing?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While both the divorce mediation and arbitration processes involve gathering information, working with multiple parties, and conversations taking place between the participants and a third-party, there is one significant difference between them.

In arbitration, the solution to the parties’ disagreement is decided by the involved third-party arbitrator like a private judge in what’s known as a settlement conference. Whereas mediators believe the solution to the parties disagreement lies with them, and mediator helps the parties come to agreements on their own in one or more negotiation sessions.

We feel divorce mediation is a better ADR (alternative dispute resolution) alternative than arbitration, as it empowers the parties to make the decisions that are in their mutual best interest. Rather than allowing a total stranger to make decisions for them that may or may not work in their particular case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”I’ve heard about something called “Shuttle Mediation.” Can you explain a bit more about what that is, and if Equitable Mediation uses that approach?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Shuttle mediation is where the mediator would help the two spouses resolve the relevant issues (parenting plan, child support, alimony, division of assets and liabilities, etc.) without both of them being present in the same room, or on the same Zoom call.

Shuttle mediation can be useful in cases with special circumstances (where two parties truly do wish to mediate, but they are unwilling or unable to be in the same room at the same time, such as with domestic violence). However we prefer direct negotiations – working with both spouses at the same time, as we have found this breeds more trust among the parties. Therefore, we do not perform shuttle mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can be a divorce mediator in Washington State?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no requirement in Washington State for a mediator to be licensed or certified. That means anyone can call themselves Washington State mediators. And while that may be a positive in that it can provide divorcing couples alternatives to the adversarial legal system, it’s critically important to ensure that the mediator you choose has the proper skills and experience to guide you through your divorce in Washington State.

It’s not uncommon for attorneys to call themselves a “divorce mediation lawyer” or a “mediation attorney” as they feel attending law school or understanding family law issues also qualifies them to be divorce mediators. But in our opinion, litigating or advocating for one party is an entirely different skill set than acting as a neutral third party and assisting both parties towards fair and equitable resolution.

Learn more about how to find a good mediator.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) and a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA)?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

A mediator will draft what’s known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which contains all of the agreements the parties made with regards to items that affect their family such as parenting time and decision-making, child support, spousal maintenance and property division.

After mediation is completed, the agreements outlined in the MOU are then formally drafted by a qualified professional into a legally binding document known as the Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is signed by the parties and is one of the (many) legal documents that are submitted to the court to finalize the parties’ dissolution of marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the Seattle metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Seattle, Bellevue, Kent, Everett, Renton, Federal Way, Kirkland, Auburn, Redmond, Shoreline, Bothell, Burien, Lynnwood, Edmonds, Puyallup, Sammamish, Lacey, Marysville, Issaquah, Tukwila, Mercer Island, Des Moines, and SeaTac.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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You’re at the crossroads of a divorce in Pennsylvania and your mind is spinning with anxiety and worries as you lose sleep thinking about:

• Whether or not you’ll be able to afford to keep the house;
• Whether or not you’ll be able to pay the bills;
• Whether or not you’ll be able to get health insurance coverage;
• And whether or not you’ll have enough to save for your retirement.

All of these fears are typical in a divorce (especially if you’ve been the dependent spouse) and they all have one thing in common: Money. When it comes to money and divorce, there’s one issue that’s more stressful, more emotional, and more difficult for couples to resolve than any other. And that’s alimony in Pennsylvania. Coming to an agreement that will require one party to pay money to the other party to support their lifestyle after the marriage ends is challenging, to say the least.

* Note: Spousal support in PA and alimony in PA are two different things and are not used interchangeably in this article. In PA spousal support refers to the temporary financial support paid from one spouse to another while their divorce is in process (some lawyers call this alimony pendente lite.) Alimony refers to the financial support paid from one ex-spouse to another once their marriage ends and divorce is final.

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Is there alimony in PA?

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If there’s one question asked over and over, it’s “Is there alimony in Pennsylvania?” This is usually followed by… “Why do I have to pay my ex-spouse (ex being the operative word) anything? Our marriage has ended. And it’s time for us to go our separate ways!”

I can see why the party who is the payor of alimony in the divorce case would think this way. But let’s take a step back and look at the bigger picture. As the answer to why does Pennsylvania have alimony may surprise you. First, it’s important to note that alimony in PA is based strictly on need and not on gender. Husbands or wives can qualify to receive it. So Pennsylvania alimony exists, in part, based on the needs of the recipient party once the marriage is over and divorce is final.

It’s a fact that two households are more expensive to run than one. So in this case, alimony is not meant to unjustly enrich one party or penalize the other. But rather, to strike a balance between your lifestyles and allow you and your ex to live somewhat equally for a period of time post-divorce.

Second, there’s a good chance one party earns (significantly) more than the other. Maybe you have a long-term marriage and one of you worked inside the home to raise the children and didn’t receive a paycheck for all of your excellent work. Or one of you climbed the corporate ladder faster or higher than the other, and your earnings reflect that. Whatever the reason, alimony is intended to aid the lower-earning spouse in making the transition from married to single. To give them time to become self-sufficient and get back on their own two feet after the divorce.

And third (this is only applicable if you have children), you’re going to want your separate households and lifestyles to be similar. This way, when the children go from house to house to spend time with each of you, there isn’t a shock to their little systems. Imagine if one of you lived in a 5 bedroom, 3 ½ bath house and one of you lived in a studio apartment. Which home do you think the kids would rather spend time in?

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There are a few things you need to recognize about the challenges of determining alimony in PA:

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• The law is extremely vague on how to resolve this issue. The State of Pennsylvania provides very little in the way of guidance;
• As the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) eliminated the deduction of alimony payments for payors at the federal level, and recipients are no longer required to report payments as taxable income on their federal returns, long-standing tactics used to foster agreement are no longer useful;
• While on the surface, it might appear as if this tax change benefits the recipient and hurts the payor, it actually negatively impacts both parties;
• Further complicating matters is that alimony is considered taxable to the payee, and deductible for the payor, on Pennsylvania state tax returns;
• While inflation has cooled, the cost-of-living in PA remains elevated, and doesn’t appear to be going back down anytime soon;
• Given it’s significant economic and geographic diversity, where a couple lives, and plans on living, post-divorce, plays a much bigger role in determining alimony than in other states;
• This topic of alimony in Pennsylvania has less to do with guidelines or formulas and more to do with money and negotiation;
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and this topic is much too complex (and emotional) for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best outcome by mediating your Pennsylvania divorce.

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How is alimony calculated in PA?

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When it comes to child support, there’s a mathematical formula that outputs a specific minimum amount a party should pay to support their children. And the formula is based on a series of clearly defined inputs. That amount is then used as the basis for the support of the children from the day the divorce is final and forward. But when it comes to how alimony is calculated in PA divorce cases, it’s an entirely different story.

You may have heard that there is an alimony formula in Pennsylvania. And you’d be partially correct. But, that alimony calculation only applies to monies paid from one party to the other before you’re divorced – which is known as spousal support in PA (temporary alimony).

You see, there are times when parties live apart while still married – before their divorce is finalized. For example, say one of you gets an apartment and one if you stays in the marital home with the kids. Because you’ve yet to negotiate the full terms of your divorce – but there are still bills to be paid – a temporary PA spousal support number is calculated to keep both households running. But that’s where the calculation of financial support between spouses/ex-spouses in a Pennsylvania divorce ends.

Determining alimony is done using a series of 17 factors, and not by a mathematical formula.

The alimony factors in PA are:

(1) How much each of the spouses currently earn, and how much the spouses could possibly earn in the future;

(2) The ages and general overall health of each spouse from both a physical and mental standpoint;

(3) Where each spouse gets their income be it from investments, retirement savings, an insurance payout, or other sources of income;

(4) How long each party may live and if either party is expecting any inheritances;

(5) The duration of the marriage;

(6) If one spouse supported or contributed to the other receiving an advanced degree which in turn increased that party’s earning potential;

(7) If one party is home raising the children and in doing so, is either unable to work and earn enough income to cover their expenses, or if that party’s expenses are higher because of their role in raising the children;

(8) The marital lifestyle the parties established while together;

(9) What the education level is for each spouse, and how long it might take for the person receiving alimony to achieve such an education level that would permit them to become more self-sufficient;

(10) What each party has in terms of assets and liabilities;

(11) What assets each spouse brought into the marriage, and which assets may still remain separate property once the divorce is final;

(12) The contributions one spouse made in keeping the marital home in order;

(13) What each party needs financially to live on post-divorce;

(14) If there was any infidelity or abuse;

(15) The tax implications of any alimony;

(16) Whether the dependent spouse (the one requesting alimony) lacks sufficient assets to provide for their own needs;

(17) If the party requesting alimony is unable to support themselves by working.

So now let me ask you a question… What do you notice about these alimony factors in PA?

Not a single one of them results in a specific dollar amount that you and your spouse can use as the basis for your Pennsylvania alimony agreement!

Leaving you no choice but to negotiate it.

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When negotiating alimony in a Pennsylvania divorce, don’t forget about cost of living.

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As if figuring out alimony in PA wasn’t hard enough, there’s one more factor you need to bring into the mix. And that’s your cost of living. Say your marital home was in Wayne, in Delaware County. And you’re the one paying alimony. And your recipient spouse is moving to Quakertown in Upper Bucks County after the divorce. There’s a pretty significant difference in the cost of living between these two places!

Do you pay them based on what it cost to live in Wayne? Or do you pay them based on what it will cost to live in Quakertown? Good question…

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Or what happens if someone is thinking about moving out of state.

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Given Pennsylvania’s size, and proximity to six other US states, in our experience it’s not unusual for one party to move out of PA, post-divorce. For example, we’ve seen a Bucks County client cross the border to be closer to their job in New Jersey (a higher cost-of-living area) and a Pittsburgh client leave the Steel City to start a farm in WV (a lower cost-of-living area.) While changes in the cost of living within the state of Pennsylvania can complicate the negotiation of alimony, relocation outside the state can as well.

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How long does alimony last in PA?

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Determining an amount of alimony is just one piece of a larger picture. You also need to address how long it will last. Which much like determining an amount, duration is not so easy to agree on.

And there’s no set formula for determining how long you have to be married to get alimony in PA.

So the answer once again is – you and your spouse will have to negotiate it.

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When thinking of alimony in Pennsylvania divorce, most people think of the “check in the mail” approach.

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But there are other, more creative ways to resolve this because some people just don’t like paying alimony. For example, sometimes people will trade alimony for equitable distribution. Or do lump sum aimony or an alimony buyout. The bottom line is there’s no such thing as “typical alimony.” And there are many different ways to resolve this complex issue as I’m about to share.

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But there are actually three types of alimony in Pennsylvania…

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That can be awarded in a Pennsylvania divorce. And they are:

1. Rehabilitative alimony

This type of alimony is paid by one ex-spouse to another, for a specific purpose, and (typically) for a short period of time. It is intended to allow the recipient spouse to receive training or certification in a chosen field, in order to return to the workforce and increase their chances of becoming self-sufficient.

Rehabilitative alimony is often paid in conjunction with the second type of alimony which is:

2. Permanent (or durational) alimony

While the name “permanent alimony” may suggest that alimony will be paid by the payor spouse until the day either they or their ex-spouse, passes away, that’s not really the case in PA anymore. Most alimony awards in Pennsylvania now have a finite duration. It may be a certain number of years, or a defining event such as retirement, that causes the payment to terminate, and the duration to be fulfilled.

This type of alimony is paid by the higher-earning spouse to the lower-earning spouse in order to ease the transition from married to single. And allow both parties to live in a manner roughly equivalent to each other post-divorce.

3. Reimbursement alimony

Let’s say you and your soon-to-be-ex decided during the marriage that you were going to work, while she or he went to medical school (and was a dependent spouse). So you supported them while they were getting their education by paying all the household bills, their tuition bills, and generally keeping the financial ship afloat. Now they graduated, met someone else, and want a divorce. That’s where reimbursement alimony comes in.

Reimbursement alimony in PA recognizes the contribution you (or your ex-spouse) made to the household, and allows you to recover some of those expenditures.

One more thing…

In case you’re curious, yes, you can receive (or pay) more than one type of alimony in PA.

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There is more than meets the eye when it comes to alimony in Pennsylvania.

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As you’re learning, alimony is not a one-size-fits-all topic and every couple’s situation and circumstances are unique. So coming to a fair agreement on alimony with your soon-to-be ex-spouse requires more than just a passing conversation or a wild guess. And as you’re starting to see, there’s a lot involved in this highly complex matter. And a lot of places you can make costly mistakes.

For example, here’s a question most parties forget to ask: Is alimony taxable in PA? And once again, the answer is it depends. In its most basic form, yes, alimony is taxable in PA. But just like everything in a divorce, there are exceptions to this rule.

And you and your spouse can negotiate it.

In the majority of cases, the issue of alimony in Pennsylvania is much too complex and emotional for you to attempt to determine on your own.

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When you involve lawyers, it’s a problem.

[/fusion_title][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Because there’s no formula, if you go the attorney route, your family law attorneys can drag your negotiations out forever.

Fighting and fighting. Around and around in circles – in a very gray area. All while billing you their outrageous hourly fees.

Until neither you nor your spouse has any money left to keep paying your legal fees. And there’s no money left for alimony payments! Just one more reason it’s better to not involve divorce lawyers in your negotiations.

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When a judge gets involved, it’s a problem.

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And if the issue cannot be resolved between the two of you and your lawyers, your case will go to court in the form of divorce litigation.

But there’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines the alimony factors in PA, and what the resulting alimony payment and duration will be. Sounds scary – doesn’t it?/em> Because they’ll order the terms of the settlement and dictate what you’re going to pay or receive as the alimony payment.

And you might wind up with an alimony outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your needs.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate an amount and duration each spouse finds fair. And negotiation is exactly what divorce mediation is all about. In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger in court.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

You’ll get the best PA alimony result by mediating.

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Using our extensive financial knowledge into the complex matters of alimony, we’ll help you determine which factors apply in your situation and discuss with both you both how they may impact the amount and/or duration of alimony in your Pennsylvania divorce.

We’ll actively guide you through our comprehensive budgeting process to reflect your marital as well as your projected post-marital expenses. So we can take a close look together at what each of you earns, spend, and will need to move forward.

We’ll then help you negotiate an alimony result you both find fair and will best enable you to meet your financial obligations after you’re divorced. And since we offer all-inclusive, flat-fee mediation services, we have no vested interest in prolonging the conflict because we don’t bill you hourly like lawyers would.

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Equitable Mediation enables you to get a fair alimony outcome.

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Why be forced to accept a settlement created by a divorce attorney or family law judge in court when you can have a direct say in your financial future instead?

If you want to arrive at an agreement on alimony that’s fair to each of you and doesn’t bankrupt you in the process, mediate your Pennsylvania divorce with Equitable Mediation.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

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Guide to Divorce Mediation in PA

[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”How is divorce mediation in Pennsylvania conducted?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In Pennsylvania, it may be conducted privately or publicly, depending on whether you and your spouse choose to mediate first or hire attorneys first.

If you take the preferred path and choose to mediate first, you would hire a private, impartial third party mediation service like ours, typically before you file with the courts.

During the mediation process, Joe, your mediator, will help you identify, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the issues surrounding your divorce privately, confidentially and without the use of divorce attorneys, if that is your preference. He will then draft your agreement and a host of supporting documents.

Once the mediation process is completed, you would complete your divorce through the courts.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a court require mediation in a PA divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. If you initially choose to forgo private mediation, and instead hire an attorney, you’d likely be sent to court-ordered mediation. Pennsylvania has court-ordered mediation whereby you’ll be required to engage in child custody and financial mediation using a mediator or something called a Family Master. And while we’re always supportive of couples whose divorce settlement is the result of a mediated divorce, there are a number of shortcomings (in our opinion) with going the court-ordered mediation route:

• First, you don’t get to choose your mediator (Family Master) like you would with private divorce mediation. It’s completely at the court’s discretion who will facilitate your negotiations. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with for your divorce proceedings.
• Second, court-ordered mediation in PA can be farmed out to various community groups who perform all kinds of mediation, not just mediation involving family matters. These may be volunteers who don’t practice full-time like we do, or have the requisite knowledge or experience to help you craft the solutions you need in order to move forward with your lives in a timely manner.
• Finally, what if your divorce issues are so complex that even if the mediator isn’t fresh out of mediation training, they aren’t experienced handling unique issues like yours? In that case, mediation sessions will become a waste of time and now you’ll have to wait months for a family court date. When you could have resolved all of your issues in private mediation with us long before that.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the PA divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and your spouse prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This session is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to resolution on all required issues.

Once you’ve submitted to us requested pre-work and discovery items, sessions transition to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and break through any impasses encountered.

Once terms are reached for all required issues, he will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyers, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related Pennsylvania court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce (decree) will be granted by a judge typically in three to four months as there is a three-month waiting period in PA.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the issues that need to be resolved in a Pennsylvania divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

For a divorcing couple with children, there are four main issues in a Pennsylvania divorce: parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of marital property and debts. For couples with no children, there are two: alimony and division of marital property and debts.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”In mediation, can you divide your marital assets based on what each person truly needs?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since Pennsylvania is an equitable distribution state, and mediation allows the parties to come to any agreement they both feel is fair and equitable, yes. You and your spouse could choose to divide your marital assets based on what each person truly needs rather than dividing everything 50-50. An expert mediator will typically be able to help you analyze your assets and liabilities, and share with you options for dividing them in accordance with each of your needs. This in mediation is known as “interest-based negotiation” and in our experience, is the preferred negotiation method in a divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can I get a divorce without a lawyer if I’m working with a mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. Lawyers aren’t required for a divorce. Some individuals choose to reach out to a law firm and speak with a divorce lawyer during or after mediation if they want to further understand divorce law, or need legal advice. But others specifically choose to not involve attorneys in their divorce or separation, preferring instead to divorce without a lawyer. While we don’t require you to retain an attorney during mediation, if you want to get a lawyer’s perspective on specific legal matters, we encourage you to do so.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we have to be in agreement on all the divorce issues before we begin working with you?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. It isn’t necessary or required for you and your spouse to have everything decided before you start divorce mediation. In fact, many divorcing couples specifically wait for their chosen mediator to help them work through their issues. This way, you can ensure everything is covered thoroughly – in an appropriate order and given the time and attention required.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will mediation work in a very complex divorce case?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

We cannot speak for all divorce mediators, but for us the answer is yes. Given our experience helping couples divorcing after 20 years of marriage, those with high asset cases, grey divorce cases, business owner divorces, and cases involving complicated compensation issues, most Pennsylvania divorce mediation cases we handle involve a high level of situational complexities.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does divorce mediation compare to a traditional dispute resolution / court process using lawyers?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are a great deal of differences between the two divorce methods ranging from the number of professionals involved, approach, cost, speed, and more. This article covers in more detail a comparison of divorce mediation vs lawyers. And this article covers mediation vs collaborative divorce (also referred to as collaborative law process).

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we know if divorce mediation is a good option for us?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option if:

• You and your spouse are both willing to take part in a transparent and honest negotiation that includes full disclosure;
• There’s a level of respect between the two of you, and because mediation is a voluntary process, you’re both willing to participate;
• You want an experienced professional to help you reach agreement on the necessary issues, but you want to maintain full control over your divorce agreement and make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, and one of you doesn’t, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What happens if my spouse and I don’t reach a settlement in mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since 2008 we’ve helped 98% of our mediation clients reach agreement, so you have an excellent chance of avoiding a protracted court battle if you mediate with us. However, if on the very small chance you’re unable to reach a settlement in mediation, we would refer you and your spouse to mediation-supportive attorneys who would use the progress you made with us in mediation, and help you resolve the issues that remain.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are some examples of when mediation was unsuccessful?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While our experience with an unsuccessful mediation is limited, for the cases we were unable to resolve completely, two themes emerged: failure to disclose information and interpersonal conflict.

Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires the parties to be fully transparent, as well as be able to communicate directly with each other. So if one or both spouses are unwilling to adhere to these two principles, mediation may not work.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if I want to learn more about divorce mediation than is covered here?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we’ve done our best to answer many of the questions we’ve been frequently asked, we encourage you to visit our learning center where you’ll find articles and digital courses that explore the topics of divorce and divorce mediation further.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout Pennsylvania from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Philadelphia and the surrounding areas of: Gladwyne, Villanova, Bryn Mawr, Haverford, Radnor, Wayne, Chestnut Hill, Blue Bell, Newtown Square, Devon, Berwyn, Fort Washington, Gwynedd Valley, Lower Merion Township, Wynnewood, Swarthmore, Malvern, Media, Narberth, Ardmore, Penn Valley, New Hope, Doylestown, Ambler, Huntingdon Valley, and Flourtown.

As well as in Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas of: Sewickley Heights, Fox Chapel, Upper St. Clair, Mt. Lebanon, Edgeworth, Sewickley, Pine Township, Wexford, Franklin Park, Peters Township, Bethel Park, Marshall Township, Adams Township, Cranberry Township, Murrysville, Moon Township, North Allegheny, McCandless, Hampton Township, O’Hara Township, Shadyside, Squirrel Hill, Allison Park, Oakmont, South Fayette, Robinson Township

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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Your marriage is ending and the same fears keep rushing through your head:

The house: “Will I have enough money to keep it?”

The bills: “How will I be able to pay them?”

Health insurance: “Will I be able to get coverage?”

Retirement: “Will there be any money left to save for the future?”

In divorce, all of these fears are normal and have the very same thing in common: Money. And when it comes to money and divorce, there’s one issue that’s more emotional, causes more disagreements and is more challenging to resolve than any other. Whether you call it alimony, spousal support or spousal maintenance, New York couples needing to come to agreement on a matter that will require an ex-husband or wife to give money to their former spouse is challenging, to say the least.

And the topic of alimony in NY is a complicated one.

In this post, we’ll take a closer look at this controversial and complex topic. And shed some light on what a divorcing couple can do to come to an alimony agreement they both find fair.

Note: For the purposes of this article, the terms alimony, spousal support and spousal maintenance are all used interchangeably because people search the web using all of these terms. However, in New York the preferred term is currently maintenance / spousal maintenance.

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What is spousal support NY?

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In its most common form, spousal maintenance is a payment made from one ex-spouse to the other over a pre-determined period of time, based on what was agreed to by the parties in their divorce decree. And while most people commonly think payments are usually made after the marriage ends and divorce is final, that’s not always the case when it comes to spousal maintenance. New York also allows for something commonly referred to as “temporary maintenance” or what lawyers may refer to as “alimony pendente lite.”

Temporary maintenance may be paid from one spouse to the other while the couple is still married and going through divorce proceedings. Providing each party with a share of the marital income until a more permanent alimony number is agreed upon. Any pendente lite alimony is based on the NY temporary maintenance calculator. Which due to recent alimony reform in New York, is now also used to determine alimony payments once a divorce is final.

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How is alimony calculated in NY?

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That will be covered in greater detail later in this article. But as you’ll learn, calculating alimony in New York is not as simple as it seems!

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What role does alimony in New York play in divorce?

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For couples with children, spousal support is one of four topics that are discussed, negotiated, and agreed upon in divorce mediation along with:

• Parenting plans – which outline the night, weekends, and holidays the children will spend with each of you; and
• Child support – the amount of financial support each of you will provide your children for basics such as food and shelter as well as other “add-on” expenses such as daycare, education costs, etc.
• And equitable distribution – which outlines how you and your spouse will share in your marital assets and debts.

Unlike child support which is meant to assist with the children’s expenses, spousal maintenance in New York is meant to assist with an ex-spouse’s expenses. I’ve had clients ask, “Do women pay alimony?” and the answer is – yes. It is strictly based on need and is gender-neutral. Meaning that both women and men can either pay spousal support or be eligible to receive it.

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There are a few things you need to understand about the challenges of determining New York alimony:

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• The New York maintenance calculator has significant restrictions, may produce an unexpected or unfair result, and may be deviated from by you and your spouse if you both agree;
• The NY state spousal maintenance formula employs an income cap, and any income which exceeds the cap, is excluded from the guideline’s calculation, and must be negotiated separately;
• While inflationary pressures have eased in NYC and the state, interest rates remain elevated, and will continue to put pressure on the NYC real estate market, making establishing separate households for NY couples even more challenging in years to come;
• The topic of spousal maintenance in New York has less to do with formulas and more to do with money and negotiation;
• There is far more to this topic than a simple calculation and it is far too complex (and emotional) for you to try and resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best outcome by mediating with us.

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How Does the NYS maintenance calculator work?

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You would think having a calculator to determine maintenance in New York would make things easier. But it has only made matters more difficult. Let’s take a closer look at how the New York maintenance calculator works and the problems it can create in a New York divorce.

There are two methods for calculating spousal support in NY

Right off the bat, we start with controversy as there are two different ways you can calculate spousal maintenance in New York.

Method one:

• Take 20% of the payor’s annual net income
• Subtract 25% of the payee’s annual net income
• Divide by 12

Method two

• Take 40% of the combined annual net incomes of both spouses
• Subtract the annual net income of the recipient spouse
• Divide by 12

Which method you use depends on a number of factors including your respective incomes and whether or not you have children. And since each method will produce different results, it’s likely you and your spouse will be in disagreement right from the start. Because if you’re the one paying, you’ll want to use the lower amount. But if you’re the one receiving, you’ll want to receive the higher amount!

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There is an upper income limit in the NY spousal support calculator

Effective March 1, 2024, the NYS alimony calculator changed its upper-income limit to $228,000. This cap is revisited every two years. That means for the purposes of calculating spousal support in NY, even if one spouse earns significantly more than $228,000 in net income, only the amount of earnings up to $228,000 will be considered in the guideline calculation.

For example, let’s say one of you is working inside the home and caring for the children, while the other earns $500,000 working outside the home for a corporation. Resulting in a guess-timated net income of $400,000.

However:

• If you refer back to the first point, you see that the net income of the parties is used;
• And if you refer back to the second point, you see that there’s an upper-income limit of $228,000 per the guideline
• But in our example, the net income is greater than $228,000

Now what? If you go by what the guideline says, you’d base your calculation on $228,000, and not the actual net income.

So if you’re the spouse paying support, you might find this to be fair. But if you’re the one receiving support, you might not.

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Spousal maintenance plays an important role in determining child support

Since alimony in NY is considered income to the receiving party and a reduction in income to the paying party, it will impact the calculation of child support in New York. So you can’t just calculate child support or spousal maintenance in a vacuum – the two issues are tightly intertwined.

You need to resolve both issues simultaneously.

Here’s what typically happens when people try to use divorce calculators on the Internet:

• They find a child support calculator and come up with an amount. That amount gets stuck in their head as what they think they’re going to get or are entitled to.
• Then they go and find a spousal support calculator and do the same thing. Away they go, numbers in hand, never thinking for a second that those numbers could be way off base.
• Now it comes time for them to agree on child support and spousal maintenance. And one or both of them have some “calculated numbers” in their head about how it’s going to be.

And all of their numbers are wrong.

So they’ll argue and never come to an agreement because each of them thinks they’re right. If they then involve attorneys, round and round they’ll go, ultimately winding up in family court. And before long, they’ll have spent more on legal fees than the difference in the amounts of child support and maintenance they were arguing about in the first place!

Starting to understand why the New York state alimony calculator can complicate resolving maintenance?

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Even though there is a New York spousal support calculator, the output is only a suggestion

Even though there is a spousal maintenance calculator, New York allows divorcing couples to deviate from the amount it outputs provided the two spouses can agree on an alternate amount.

So after all those calculations and gyrations to determine net income and upper-income limitations, you can choose to bypass the result and come to an amount you both think is fair instead.

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There is no such thing as an “average alimony payment” in NY

When you hear the word “calculator,” you might think, “Oh good, the calculator will tell me what some typical alimony payment will look like. I’ll throw a few options in there, push the button and I’ll be all set.” But not only can you choose to deviate from what the maintenance calculator suggests on a case-by-case basis (see issue #4 above), but you and your spouse can also define what “counts” as income. Remember when I said you have to solve both child support and alimony in NY simultaneously? Well, add equitable distribution into that mix as well.

In New York, any income generated from investments, rental properties, etc. also counts as income in the alimony calculation.

So if you have income-producing assets like a mutual fund portfolio or rental property, until you determine which assets each of you is going to receive in the divorce, you can’t settle on an alimony amount.

Just one more reason this issue is far too complex and emotional to try and resolve on your own!

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When figuring out alimony in NYS, don’t forget about cost of living.

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As if figuring out spousal maintenance in New York wasn’t hard enough, we’ve got yet one more factor to toss in. The cost of living.

Say your marital home was in White Plains. And you’re the one paying alimony. But because you work in Manhattan, and are tired of the commute, you decide to move to New York City, post-divorce. You’re going to need some serious coin to do that! So do you pay him or her less because you need to keep more money to move to NYC? Or do you pay based on what it will cost them to keep living in Westchester, and you’ll just have to figure out how to make it work?

Good question…

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How long do you have to be married to get alimony in NY?

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In addition to agreeing on an amount of spousal maintenance, you and your spouse also need to agree on how long it will last, aka duration.

How long do you have to pay alimony is based on how long you’ve been married. And just like the New York maintenance calculator outputs an amount, it also outputs a duration.

Just like the amount, the alimony duration may be deviated from if you and your spouse agree.

To give you an idea of how long do you pay alimony, the NY duration guidelines are as follows:

• If your marriage lasted up to 15 years, the duration of maintenance may be between 15% and 30% of the total time you were married; or
• If your marriage is between 15 years and 20 years, the duration of maintenance may be between 30% and 40% of the total time you were married; or
• If your marriage lasted more than 20 years, the duration of maintenance may be between 35% and 50% of the total time you were married.

But much like using the guideline to determine an amount, there are also issues with using it to determine duration.

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The guideline New York Spousal support duration may adversely affect your children

Let’s say you and your spouse have two children, ages 8 and 11, and were married for 14 years. You desperately want to keep the kids in the home but you’re a stay-at-home parent and haven’t worked outside the home in more than 10 years. So because your job prospects and earning potential will be extremely limited, you’d be relying heavily on alimony.

Per the guidelines above, the suggested duration of alimony in NY would be between 2.1 and 4.2 years. So if support were to end even at the upper range of the duration (4.2 years), at that time, one of your children would be 15 and most likely a sophomore in high school, and the other would be 12 years old and in middle school. Is that really the best time to have to move them out of their house and away from their school and friends?

Is it in their best interests? Or what you want for them as mom or dad?

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The duration of NYS alimony may create unintended consequences

Now let’s go back to the same example (the kids are 15 and 12 when spousal maintenance ends) but this time, both you and your spouse work full-time at a corporation. Given the ages of your kids, you might determine they are old enough to be left alone for a bit between the time they get home from school and the time you get home from work.

But what if your marriage was shorter in duration? And your children were much younger? Let’s say you and your spouse have been married 6 years and have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. The range for the duration of spousal maintenance would be between 11 months and 1 year and 10 months. In this case, the spouse who is caring for the children would have no choice but to go back to work before the children reached school age. Thus creating incredible scheduling difficulties with respect to child care, and also incurring tremendous childcare costs. Have you ever priced out daycare for young kids? Yikes!

In this case, it may actually be more cost-effective for one spouse to stay home with the children. But if you strictly follow the guidelines on duration for alimony in NY, that might not be possible.

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When thinking of spousal support New York, most people think of the “check in the mail” approach.

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While technically there are only two types of alimony in NY – temporary maintenance and spousal maintenance – there can be other, more creative ways to resolve this issue because some people just don’t like paying alimony. For example, sometimes divorcing spouses will trade alimony for equitable distribution (marital property and/or other assets). Or do lump sum alimony or an alimony buyout.

Another option that isn’t explicitly mentioned in New York but can also be an option is something called rehabilitative alimony. Where instead of paying an ex-spouse money every month just to cover their expenses, they instead pay for them to go back to school. In turn, earning a degree and improving their earning potential.

The bottom line is there’s no such thing as “typical alimony.” And there are many different ways to resolve this issue.

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When you involve lawyers in spousal maintenance, New York couples have problems.

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Because the New York maintenance calculator allows for deviation from its output and has a number of limitations and requirements on income, if you go the attorney route, your lawyers can drag your negotiations on forever.

Fighting and fighting. Around and around in circles – in a very gray area. All while billing you their outrageous hourly fees.

Until neither you nor your spouse has any money left to keep paying your legal fees. And there’s no money left for alimony! Just one more reason it’s better to not involve lawyers in your divorce negotiations.

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When a judge gets involved in spousal support, NY couples have problems.

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If alimony can’t be successfully resolved between you, your spouse, and your respective attorneys, your case will continue to divorce litigation. And if the issue cannot be resolved between the two of you and your lawyers, your case will go to court.

There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a family court judge determines who gets what. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Because they’ll dictate the terms of the settlement and tell you what you’re going to pay or receive.

And each of you might wind up with an alimony outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your needs.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate an amount and duration each spouse finds fair out of court. And negotiation is exactly what NY divorce mediation is all about. In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

You’ll get the best New York alimony result by mediating.

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Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of alimony and spousal maintenance, we’ll help you determine an appropriate amount and/or duration of temporary alimony and post-divorce spousal maintenance in your New York divorce. One that works for you and your children. And regardless of what the NY spousal maintenance guideline imposes upon you.

We’ll also explore a variety of alimony types and balance them against both child support and equitable distribution since as we learned above, all three topics are inter-connected. And we’ll actively guide you through our comprehensive budgeting process to reflect your marital as well as projected post-marital expenses – so we can take a close look together at what each of you earns, spend, and will need to move forward.

We’ll then help you negotiate an alimony result you both find fair and will best enable both of you to meet your financial obligations after you’re divorced.

And since we offer all-inclusive, flat-fee mediation services, we have no vested interest in prolonging the conflict because we don’t bill you hourly like a lawyer would.

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Equitable Mediation enables you to get a fair outcome regarding spousal support in NY.

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Why be forced to accept a settlement created by a family law attorney or judge in court when you can have a direct say in your financial future instead?

If you want to arrive at an agreement on alimony that’s fair to each of you and doesn’t bankrupt you in the process, mediate your divorce with Equitable Mediation.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

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last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_type=”fade”]Guide to Divorce Mediation in NYC[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”How is divorce mediation in New York City conducted?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While some states have court ordered mediation programs, in New York, mediation offered through court is typically limited to issues of custody and decision-making responsibility. On the other hand, private mediation is not strictly limited to matters of custody and decision-making responsibility.

So in NYC, divorce mediation is primarily conducted outside of a courtroom by using a private divorce mediation service like ours – typically before filing for divorce. When working with us, we’ll help you and your spouse identify, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the necessary issues, privately, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you so choose).

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the NY divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

Your mediation begins with a one-hour strategy session.

In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe. Depending greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective divorce mediation lawyers, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related NYC court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce submitted to the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce (decree) will be granted by a judge.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the role of a NYC mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The role of the mediator is to serve as a neutral third party who helps couples navigate their divorce process in a constructive and cooperative way. The mediator facilitates discussion between spouses, ensuring both parties have the opportunity to express their needs and concerns in a safe, balanced environment.

Through structured sessions, the mediator can help them reach mutually acceptable agreements on issues like property division, support, and parenting arrangements. While mediators don’t make decisions for the couple or provide legal advice, the mediator assists the parties in decision making by presenting options and helping them explore potential solutions.

Additionally, the mediator can provide referrals to other professionals, such as attorneys, financial advisors, or therapists / counselors, when specialized expertise is needed. Mediation encourages couples to work toward fair, workable agreements, that are in their mutual best interest, while minimizing conflict and preserving their ability to communicate effectively.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a divorce attorney in New York if I am using divorce mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Lawyers are not required for a divorce. Some individuals choose to speak with a divorce lawyer during or after mediation to get legal advice. However, others specifically choose to NOT involve attorneys in their divorce. This is your divorce, so if you’d like to get an attorney’s viewpoint on a particular issue(s), you are encouraged to do so.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between divorce mediation and traditional divorce lawyers?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is a lot to know about divorce mediation, and how it compares to other dispute resolution methods. This post will help you understand in more detail the differences between mediators vs lawyers for divorce. And this post covers the differences between mediation and collaborative divorce (also referred to as collaborative law process).

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When should a couple choose mediation? And when should they not?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While there are many reasons why couples getting divorced should mediate, these are the three most common.

They want control over the outcome. As the mediator does not make decisions for the couples he works with, spouses are in the best position to reach a mutually agreeable settlement on their terms.

They want to remain amicable. As mediation is based on mutual respect and constructive dialog, mediation helps keep the tenor of negotiations peaceful, leading to less animosity between divorcing spouses. Which is especially important if minor children are involved, and they will be interacting as co-parents in the future.

They want to save money. While estimates vary, the average Manhattan divorce lawyer’s retainer in 2024 was $10,000 per person. And as I’m sure you can guess the retainer is not all you’ll pay. Mediation is a fraction of that.

Although mediation can help most couples, it may not be appropriate in all situations. Mediation requires both parties to participate in good faith and be willing to compromise. Cases involving domestic violence, severe power imbalances, or inability to communicate effectively might be better suited for other divorce methods.

During our initial meeting, we can help assess whether mediation is the best path forward for your specific situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the main benefits of mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While there are many benefits of mediating your divorce, here are the most common ones cited by our client couples.

First, mediation can make a challenging time significantly easier to navigate as when working with us, our proven process will keep your negotiations productive, conversations respectful, and your outcome fair and equitable.

Second, instead of having lawyers or a judge decide your future, you and your spouse stay in control of the important decisions that will affect your lives.

And third, everything discussed stays confidential in a mediated divorce, giving you a safe, private space to work through sensitive topics. The mediation process encourages both of you to communicate openly, which often leads to solutions that genuinely work for everyone involved.

That’s really what, in our opinion, sets mediation apart – it focuses on finding mutually beneficial arrangements that respect both of your needs and priorities. By working together instead of against each other, you can create agreements that benefit your whole family and help maintain important relationships for the road ahead, especially if you’re co-parenting.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we don’t reach agreement in mediation? Is litigation our next step?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we’ve helped couples reach an agreement 98% of the time, even the most effective mediation may not always result in a mutually agreeable outcome to both parties.

When that happens, the next step in the divorce process is not necessarily litigation. Depending on the level of impasse between the parties, the mediator may ask each spouse to consult with an attorney and return with what they’ve learned. Or if the spouses are not being cooperative, refer to them to attorneys trained in the collaborative law process and they would work any remaining disagreements there.

The good news is any progress made in mediation is not lost and can still be used moving forward.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How can I convince my spouse to mediate?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a voluntary process. So while we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, in our experience, there’s usually one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and encourage them to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”After we’re done working with you, will you draft a mediation agreement?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. The mediation agreement is known as a Memorandum of Understanding (or MOU for short) and contains all of the agreements reached by a couple in mediation.

Depending on the mediator you work with, you mediation agreement may simply be an outline which will need to be rewritten by attorneys.

When working with us, you’ll receive a comprehensive and highly-detailed written agreement outlining in great detail all agreements you and your spouse reached in mediation, without the need for it to be rewritten.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can mediation really work in a Manhattan divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all NYC mediators, for couples who choose to work with us, the answer is a decisive yes. There is no divorce in New York that is too complicated for us to handle. Given our proficiency working with couples divorcing after 20 years of marriage or more, gray divorces, cases involving children with special needs, divorces with a business involved, cases involving variable, deferred and complicated compensation issues, and high net worth divorces, most cases we handle have a great deal of complexities.

Read case studies and learn more about who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can mediation help us reach a separation agreement?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. Mediation isn’t only used exclusively by divorcing couples. It is also commonly used by couples who wish to negotiate and outline the terms of the separation and aren’t yet ready to pursue their final divorce. In mediation, the goal is to reach mutually beneficial outcomes, no matter whether a couple is divorcing or separating.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”My ex and I need to renegotiate parts of our divorce judgement. Can you help with post-divorce issues?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While some mediators work with couples who are both married as well as those already divorced, at Equitable Mediation, we only conduct post-divorce mediation for our former clients (couples who worked with us when they first got divorced.)

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”We’ve got everything figured out. Will you just write up our divorce papers?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. As we have no idea if your agreement is fair and equitable, or follows the process required for a New York divorce, we would not be comfortable doing so. Nor can we review your divorce settlement as we are not attorneys, and are not permitted to give advice.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What makes your New York divorce mediation services unique?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

With an MBA in Finance, our mediator Joe brings real financial expertise to the table, helping you navigate everything from asset division to support arrangements with confidence. And since divorces can easily get off track if you’re not careful, we’ve crafted a process that actually keeps negotiations moving forward productively, even when things feel challenging.

But we also know that divorce isn’t just about the process or numbers – it’s an emotional journey. That’s why we offer divorce coaching to support you every step of the way. And because everyone moves at their own pace, we offer unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee. No rushing, no watching the clock – just the time you need to reach lasting agreements.

Visit our Why Choose Us page to get the full picture of what we believe makes our mediation services unique.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Anything else I should know about divorce mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

If you still have questions, please visit our Learning Center.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the New York City metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, New Rochelle, Mount Vernon, White Plains, Hempstead, Valley Stream, Glen Cove, Freeport, Port Washington, Great Neck, Rye, New Hyde Park, Garden City, Floral Park, Mineola, Westbury, East Rockaway, Lynbrook, Baldwin, Rockville Centre, Ossining, Tarrytown, Dobbs Ferry, Nyack, Huntington, Babylon, Islip, Port Jefferson, Patchogue, Stony Brook, Montauk, Southampton, East Hampton, Oyster Bay, Massapequa, Spring Valley, Suffern, and Mount Kisco.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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You’re at the crossroads of a divorce and the same worries keep flooding your mind:

• “Can I afford to keep the house?”
• “Will I be able to pay my bills?”
• “How will I get health insurance?”
• “Will I have enough to be able to save for my retirement?”

All of these fears are typical in divorce mediation in NJ and have one thing in common: Money. When it comes to money and divorce, there’s one topic that’s more stressful, more emotional, and more difficult to resolve than any other.

Whether you call it alimony or spousal support, coming to an agreement that will require one ex-spouse to pay money to the other to support their lifestyle is challenging, to say the least.

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How does alimony work in NJ?

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Alimony is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon by the parties in mediation along with:

• Parenting plans
• Child support
• And equitable distribution (the division of your marital property, assets, and liabilities)

It’s important to understand that alimony is strictly based on need and is gender-neutral. Meaning that both women and men can be eligible to receive it. Support is not meant to unjustly enrich one party or penalize the other. The idea is to strike a balance and allow both parties to live somewhat equally for a period of time just as they did during the marriage.

So why is alimony a thing?

Alimony is intended to aid the lower-earning spouse in making the transition from married to single.

To give them time to get back on their feet and become self-sufficient after the divorce. But what does that really mean in practical terms?

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There are a few things you need to understand about the challenges of determining alimony in NJ:

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• New Jersey law is extremely vague on how to resolve this issue. The state of New Jersey provides very little in the way of guidance or formulas;
• With the cost of housing being significantly more expensive in New Jersey than elsewhere in the US, and mortgage rates at or near a 20-year high, establishing separate households will be far more challenging for divorcing couples than in previous years;
• This topic has less to do with alimony laws and more to do with money and negotiation;
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue and this topic is much too complex (and emotional) for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best result by mediating with us.

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There is no such thing as a NJ alimony calculator.

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When it comes to child support, there’s a mathematical formula that outputs a specific minimum amount a party should pay to support their children. And the formula is based on a series of clearly defined inputs.

But there is no such formula for calculating alimony in NJ.

New Jersey provides some general guidelines regarding alimony, but nothing explicit to help you determine a specific alimony obligation applicable to your circumstances in your case.

The New Jersey factors may include, but are not limited to:

(1) The actual need and ability of the parties to pay;

(2) The duration of the marriage or civil union;

(3) The age, physical and emotional health of the parties;

(4) The standard of living established in the marriage or civil union and the likelihood that each party can maintain a reasonably comparable standard of living, with neither party having a greater entitlement to that standard of living than the other;

(5) The earning capacities, educational levels, vocational skills, and employability of the parties;

(6) The length of absence from the job market of the party seeking maintenance payments;

(7) The parental responsibilities for the children;

(8) The time and expense necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the party seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment, the availability of the training and employment, and the opportunity for future acquisitions of capital assets and income;

(9) The history of the financial or non-financial contributions to the marriage or civil union by each party including contributions to the care and education of the children and interruption of personal careers or educational opportunities;

(10) The equitable distribution of property ordered and any payouts on equitable distribution, directly or indirectly, out of current income, to the extent this consideration is reasonable, just, and fair;

(11) The income available to either party through investment of any assets held by that party;

(12) The tax treatment and consequences to both parties of any alimony award, including the designation of all or a portion of the payment as a non-taxable payment;

(13) The nature, amount, and length of any support paid prior to the divorce being final if any; and

(14) Any other factors which the court (or parties) may deem relevant.

Even with these factors, there is little guidance on how to resolve this topic. Not one of the “factors” listed above results in an actual dollar amount or specific alimony payment.

Leaving you and your spouse no choice but to negotiate it.

Which, given the nature of divorce itself and specifically, this heated issue, is very difficult to do.

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When it comes to New Jersey alimony, don’t forget about cost of living.

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As if figuring out support wasn’t hard enough, there’s yet one more factor we need to add to the mix. And that’s where you live. Say your marital home was in Bridgewater, in Somerset County, and you’re the one who will be paying alimony. But your ex decides to move to Short Hills post-divorce, to be near family. So… do you pay alimony to them based on what it cost you both to live in Bridgewater while you were married? Or do you pay them based on what it will cost to live in Short Hills – recognizing it will be more expensive to live there? And given the significant inflation we’ve seen over the past few years, how, if at all, do you account for that in your alimony agreement?

Good questions…

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Determining an amount of spousal support in NJ is just one piece of a larger picture.

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You also need to determine the duration. And just like determining an amount, duration is not so easy to agree on.

In NJ, there is no set formula for determining how many years you need to be married to get alimony.

The answer once again is you will have to negotiate it.

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When thinking of spousal support NJ, most people think of the “check in the mail” approach.

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But there are other, more creative ways to resolve this because some payor spouses just don’t like making periodic alimony payments. For example, sometimes people will trade alimony for assets in their case. Or do a lump sum alimony payment or an alimony buyout. Or pay to send a spouse back to school.

The bottom line is there’s no such thing as typical alimony payments.

And there are many different ways to resolve this issue.

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Some of the types of alimony in NJ include…

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1. Open durational alimony

Formerly known as permanent alimony, open durational alimony has no specific end date set at the time at which it is awarded.

Open durational alimony may be awarded in longer-term marriages of 20 years or greater where there is little if any, chance that a dependent spouse would ever be able to maintain the standard of living of the marriage. The typical open durational support case is one where one spouse has been a full-time parent and homemaker for many years. This parent may have past work experience and even a college or post-graduate education, but in the years that the individual has been at home, the other has built a career, a wage-earning capacity, and a standard of living that the homemaking dependent partner could not likely reach. Another typical case for open durational support is one in which the parties have both worked outside the home, but one has a substantially greater income.

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2. Limited duration alimony

This is support that is to be paid for a certain period of time. It can be appropriate in shorter-term marriages (less than 20 years) and in marriages where there is a reasonable probability that the receiving spouse will become self-sufficient to the extent of being able to maintain the standard of living of the marriage. This type of alimony is often modifiable in amount during the term, but the term itself is usually not subject to alimony modification.

Recently, the State of New Jersey has stated that the length of alimony may not exceed the length of the marriage or civil union provided that marriage or civil union was 20 years or less in duration.

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3. Rehabilitative alimony

Rehabilitative support in New Jersey is only intended to be paid for a period of time, but the duration is tied to a specific plan for the payee spouse to become financially self-sufficient. A plan to go back to school to get a high school, college, or post-graduate degree would qualify a spouse for rehabilitative support. Vocational training, technical training, or starting a business would also be circumstances to come under this concept.

The idea is to pay support to a spouse who cannot maintain the standard of living of the marriage while he or she is preparing to become self-sufficient. This kind of support often takes into account the costs of the education or training program and the inability of that individual to work or work full-time while going to school. It can be combined with permanent or limited duration alimony.

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4. Reimbursement alimony

This type of alimony in New Jersey may be awarded when the circumstance is that one party supported the other through advanced education, anticipating participation in the fruits of the earning capacity generated by that education. Reimbursement support might be appropriate where one partner worked to support the other through law, medical, or business school. The state of NJ recognizes that both parties worked and contributed to the advanced degree and are entitled to benefit from it.

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There is more than meets the eye when it comes to alimony NJ.

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As you can see, alimony is not a one-size-fits-all topic and every couple’s situation, circumstances and determining factors are unique. So coming to a fair agreement on alimony with your soon-to-be ex requires more than just a passing conversation or a wild guess. And as you’re starting to see, there’s a lot involved in this highly complex matter.

And a lot of places you can make costly mistakes.

In the majority of cases, this issue is much too complex and emotionally charged for you to attempt to determine on your own, especially if you have a long-term marriage.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When an alimony lawyer get involved, it’s a problem.

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Because there’s no formula or hard and fast alimony laws, if you go the divorce attorney route, your lawyers can drag your negotiations on for years.

Fighting and fighting. Around and around in circles – in a very gray area. All while billing you their outrageous hourly fees.

Until neither you nor your soon-to-be ex has any money left to keep paying your legal fees. And there’s no money left for alimony!

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When a New Jersey family law judge gets involved, it’s a problem.

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And if the issue cannot be resolved between the two of you and your lawyers, your case will go to litigation in court.

There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines who gets what on a case-by-case basis. Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Because they’ll dictate the terms of the settlement in court and tell you what you’re going to pay or receive.

And each of you might wind up with an alimony outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your needs.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate an amount and duration each spouse finds fair. And negotiation is exactly what NJ divorce mediation is all about. In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement you both agree is fair, out of court – instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger.

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You’ll get the best NJ alimony result by mediating with us.

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Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of alimony, we’ll help you determine which of the factors apply in your situation and discuss with you both how they may impact the amount and/or duration of alimony in your New Jersey divorce.

We’ll discuss which of the four types of NJ alimony(listed below) may be appropriate in your case. Explore the feasibility of using some combination of alimony types in conjunction with child support and asset division, as all three topics are inter-connected. And actively guide you through our comprehensive budgeting process to reflect your marital as well as projected post-marital expenses, so we can take a close look together at the income each of you earns, spend, and will need to move forward.

We’ll then help you negotiate an alimony agreement you both find fair and will best enable both of you to meet your financial obligations after you’re divorced.

And since we offer flat-fee mediation services, we have no vested interest in prolonging the conflict because we don’t bill you hourly as a lawyer would.

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Lay the groundwork for a peaceful divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_button link=”/get-started/” enable_hover_text_icon=”no” hover_text=”” title=”Get Started” target=”_self” link_attributes=”” aria_role_button=”0″ alignment_medium=”” alignment_small=”” alignment=”center” modal=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”btn-style-blue” id=”” color=”custom” button_gradient_top_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” button_gradient_top_color=”var(–awb-custom_color_2)” button_gradient_bottom_color_hover=”var(–awb-color4)” button_gradient_bottom_color=”var(–awb-color4)” gradient_start_position=”” gradient_end_position=”” gradient_type=”” radial_direction=”” linear_angle=”180″ accent_hover_color=”” accent_color=”var(–awb-color5)” type=”” bevel_color=”” bevel_color_hover=”” border_top=”2px” border_right=”2px” border_bottom=”2px” border_left=”2px” border_radius_top_left=”30px” border_radius_top_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” border_color=”var(–awb-color5)” size=”large” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” fusion_font_family_button_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_button_font=”700″ font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” stretch=”default” margin_top=”22px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” icon=”” hover_icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Get Started[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” 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filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″ filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ transform_type=”regular” transform_hover_element=”self” transform_scale_x_hover=”1″ transform_scale_y_hover=”1″ transform_translate_x_hover=”0″ transform_translate_y_hover=”0″ transform_rotate_hover=”0″ transform_skew_x_hover=”0″ transform_skew_y_hover=”0″ transform_scale_x=”1″ transform_scale_y=”1″ transform_translate_x=”0″ transform_translate_y=”0″ transform_rotate=”0″ transform_skew_x=”0″ transform_skew_y=”0″ transition_duration=”300″ transition_easing=”ease” motion_effects=”W10=” scroll_motion_devices=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_type=”fade” class=”c-anim”]Guide to Divorce Mediation in New Jersey[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”Is mediation required for divorces in New Jersey?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. Court-ordered mediation is ordered by a judge in a litigated divorce proceeding. So if you choose the traditional route to divorce through the court system, you’ll be obligated to attend “mediation” as part of the divorce settlement process.

New Jersey requires parties in litigation to engage in mandatory mediation which is referred to as an early settlement panel. This panel consists of three professionals, typically lawyers and mental health professionals, who will hear the facts regarding your case, and make a recommendation to the judge on what your parenting time or financial agreements should look like. It is not uncommon for the judge to accept the recommendation of the early settlement panel.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between court-ordered mediation and private mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are four major differences between court-ordered mediation and private mediation.

First, when mediation is court-ordered, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.

Second, the mediators on the family law court roster may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a family court mediator in New Jersey is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no “real-world” experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is always better when conducted privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a divorce lawyer if I am working with a mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without lawyers.

However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel for advice on New Jersey divorce law. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the NJ divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online – using Zoom – and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe. Depending greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics. Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good as-is, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related Illinois court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to have your divorce filed with the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge as there is no waiting period in Illinois.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation work in a complex New Jersey divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all New Jersey mediators, for couples who choose to work with us, the answer is a decisive yes. We routinely handle complex divorces including long-term marriages, business ownership, sophisticated compensation structures, high-value assets, and families with special needs children.

Read case studies and learn more about who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we have to agree on the issues before we start mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! It is not necessary for the two of you to have everything already decided before you start mediation. In fact, many couples specifically wait for their divorce mediator to help them talk about and resolve the issues because they can’t agree on their own. This way, you can make sure things will remain amicable between you, and that all issues will be discussed thoroughly, in the proper order, and given the time and attention they require.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”We’re getting a divorce in NJ. How do we know if mediation is a good option for us?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is a good option if:

• You are both willing to take part in a transparent, honest, and “good faith” negotiation which includes full disclosure;
• There is a level of mutual respect between you, and because mediation is a voluntary process, you’re both willing to actively participate and be fair and reasonable;
• You want a skilled divorce professional to help you resolve the required issues, but you want to maintain full control over your divorce agreement and make your own decisions.

Since it takes far less time, costs far less, and preserves family relationships, mediation is almost always the preferred alternative to traditional divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if my spouse and I don’t reach an agreement in mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

98% of our clients successfully resolve their divorce through mediation, so when working with us, there is a high probability/likelihood of success. But if you and your spouse don’t reach a complete agreement in mediation, there is still a constructive path forward/option.

In our experience, most “incomplete” mediations only have one or two remaining issues to resolve, not the entire divorce. You and your spouse can continue working on specific unresolved points with mediation-friendly attorneys who will help you build upon the progress already made in mediation.

Remember that choosing mediation is already a positive step toward an amicable divorce. Even if you need additional support later, the groundwork you lay during mediation often proves invaluable in reaching your final resolution.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”If we already started divorce litigation can we still mediate?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes. Mediation remains an option even after litigation has begun. If both spouses agree, they can pause their court proceedings and work with a mediator to reach a settlement. While the emotional intensity of divorce litigation can make this transition challenging, many couples find that switching to mediation helps them regain control of their divorce process and work toward a more amicable resolution.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does a New Jersey divorce take using mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is divorce mediation less expensive than going to court?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes, divorce mediation is significantly less expensive than going to court. According to an article that appeared in the Motley Fool, going to court will cost a couple on average $46,600 if they can agree quickly, and are only litigating one or two issues. But (and this is important) if one of those issues is alimony or child support, those fees will more than double. With the cost of going to court ranging between $100,000 and $200,000. Even the most complex divorce mediations cost a fraction of a traditional litigated process.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost in New Jersey?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The total cost of mediation varies greatly and is dependent on a number of factors including, but not limited to:

• The experience and expertise of the mediator;
• The thoroughness of the mediator’s process;
• The comprehensiveness of the services the mediator provides;
• The relationship dynamic between the parties and willingness to compromise and negotiate the issues.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for a lower hourly rate or flat-fee, but then once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by attorneys (and/or tens of thousands of dollars in the future to resolve missed issues.) Or you can work with an experienced mediator whose fee might be higher, but who delivers a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on both present and known/potential future issues, which will save you money, time and stress in the long run.

To learn more, read: The Real Truth Behind Divorce Mediation Costs

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How does working with mediators compare to divorce using lawyers?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are significant differences between these divorce options ranging from the number of professionals involved, approach, speed, cost, fairness, control, tone, and more. This article will help you understand in more detail, a comparison of mediation vs lawyers for divorce, and this article will help you understand the differences between mediation and collaborative law (also referred to as collaborative divorce), and learn the benefits we believe mediation provides.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the difference between divorce mediation and divorce arbitration?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation and arbitration are distinct alternative dispute resolution methods, though both help couples avoid traditional court battles. In mediation, a neutral mediator facilitates discussions between spouses to reach mutually agreeable solutions but doesn’t make decisions for them. This collaborative approach gives couples complete control over the outcome while typically saving time and money.

Arbitration, on the other hand, functions more like a private court where an arbitrator – essentially a private judge – hears both sides and makes binding decisions. While arbitration is usually faster and more confidential than court proceedings, the couple surrenders decision-making power to the arbitrator. Unlike mediation’s flexible nature, arbitration follows stricter procedures and may feel more adversarial.

While both options offer privacy and efficiency, mediation generally fosters better communication and co-parenting relationships, as couples work together to shape their future rather than having solutions imposed upon them.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a divorce mediator and a divorce mediation lawyer?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. You may find a mediator who is an attorney and who refers to themselves as a “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some mediators are mental health professionals. Others, like Equitable Mediation’s founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do I prepare for mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are several steps you can take to prepare for divorce mediation.

Read our post for some divorce mediation tips and a NJ divorce mediation checklist.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout New Jersey from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in cities such as: Newark, Jersey City, Lakewood, Edison, Woodbridge, Toms River, Hamilton, Trenton, Clifton, Brick, Cherry Hill, Middletown, Old Bridge, Gloucester Township, East Orange, Franklin Township, North Bergen, Vineland, Union Township, Piscataway, New Brunswick, Jackson, Wayne, Parsippany-Troy Hills, Howell, Hoboken, Plainfield, West New York, Washington Township, East Brunswick, West Orange, Evesham, Bridgewater, South Brunswick, Egg Harbor, Manchester, Hackensack, Sayreville, Mount Laurel, Berkeley Heights, North Brunswick, Morristown, Hillsborough, Belle Mead, and Princeton.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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You’re at the crossroads of a divorce and the same worries keep flooding your mind:

• “Can I afford to keep the marital home?”
• “Will I be able to pay my bills and meet my financial responsibilities?”
• “How will I get health insurance coverage after my marriage ends?”
• “Will I have enough financial resources to be able to save for my retirement?”

All of these fears are typical in divorce and have one thing in common:

Money.

When it comes to money and divorce, there’s one topic that’s more stressful, more emotional, and more difficult for parties to resolve than any other.

Whether you call it alimony or spousal support, California couples needing to come to an agreement that will require one ex-spouse to pay money to the other ex-spouse to support their lifestyle is challenging, to say the least.

* Note: For the purposes of the article, the terms alimony and spousal support are used interchangeably. In California, spousal support is currently the preferred term.

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What is the real purpose of California alimony and how does alimony work in California?

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Alimony is one of four topics that are discussed and must be agreed upon by the parties in mediation along with:

• Parenting time (child custody)
• Child support
• And Community property (dividing your marital assets and liabilities)

It’s important to understand that alimony payments (California based or anywhere else for that matter) are strictly based on need and are gender-neutral. Meaning that women or men can be eligible to receive it. Spousal support is not meant to unjustly enrich one party or penalize the other. The idea is to strike a balance and allow you and your ex to live somewhat equally for a period of time just as you did during your marriage.

Alimony is intended to aid the lower-earning spouse in making the transition from married to single.

To give them time to get back on their feet and become self-sufficient after the divorce. How long that will take is a matter of much debate as depending on how long you and your spouse were married, the answer may be never!

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There are a few things you need to understand about the challenges of determining alimony in California:

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• While there are guidelines to calculate temporary spousal support in California, you and your spouse are free to agree on any amount and duration for more long-term alimony amounts;
• Since the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) passed in 2017 has eliminated the deduction of spousal support payments for payors and recipients are no longer required to report payments as taxable income at the Federal level, long-standing tactics used to foster agreement are no longer useful;
• While on the surface, it might appear as if this tax change benefits the recipient (supported spouse) and hurts the payor (supporting spouse), it actually negatively impacts both parties;
• Further adding to the complexity is the decision by the state of California to allow the deduction of spousal support payments for payors and to require recipients to report payments as taxable income on their California state tax returns;
• While inflation has eased, given the high cost of living in California, regardless of the amount of alimony being paid or received, it may be difficult for parties to make ends meet post-divorce, forcing a relocation out of state for one or both parties;
• Adding to the cost of living challenges are elevated mortgage rates, making the already burdensome cost of housing for California couples, more difficult to carry;
• This topic has less to do with alimony law or guidelines and more to do with money and negotiation;
• There is more than meets the eye on this issue – especially if child support is involved and/or you have a long-term marriage – and this topic is much too complex (and emotional) for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best result by mediating your California divorce with us.

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The California alimony guidelines only apply to temporary support payments.

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When it comes to child support, there’s a mathematical formula that outputs a specific minimum amount each party should pay to support their children. And reasonably clear guidance on when it will end. So at least divorcing couples have a solid foundation from which to start their negotiations about that issue.

But in California, despite there being a guideline for temporary spousal support, the amount of alimony you pay or receive, and for how long it will last once your divorce is final, is wide open for negotiation.

California does provide you and your spouse a way to calculate temporary alimony payments, but that’s where it ends. There is no explicit formula to help you determine a more long-term spousal support amount in your case. Naturally, this can lead to a lot of trouble, especially if one of you wants to continue using the temporary alimony amount moving forward, but the other party wants to renegotiate. Right off the bat, you’re already at odds!

Instead of using an alimony formula, California bases spousal support payment amounts on the following 14 “factors.”

They may include, but are not limited to:

(1) Each party’s ability to maintain the “marital lifestyle” once divorced, based on your respective current incomes;

(2) If the party requesting support contributed to the other party attaining a college degree, professional license, or some other career or position of high earnings;

(3) The ability for the supporting party to pay alimony, taking into account how much they earn and their cost of living;

(4) Each party’s needs, based on the lifestyle lived during the marriage;

(5) The debts and assets each of you received in the settlement, as well as any separate property you or your spouse may own;

(6) How long you were married;

(7) The ability of the party requesting support to earn a living, without it impacting their role as the primary caregiver of the couples’ children, should they have any;

(8) The ages of the parties as well as the condition of their health;

(9) If there was documented domestic violence during the marriage;

(10) The impact on each party’s taxes;

(11) If either party has any known hardships;

(12) The ability of the supported party to become self-sufficient within a reasonable period of time.

(13) The conviction of a spouse in cases of domestic violence; and

(14) Any other factors the courts deem relevant.

Even with these factors, there is little guidance on how to resolve this topic. Not one of the “factors” listed above results in an actual dollar amount.

Leaving you and your spouse no choice but to negotiate it.

Which, given the nature of divorce itself and specifically, this heated issue, is very difficult to do.

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Don’t forget about cost of living.

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As if figuring out alimony in California wasn’t difficult enough, there’s yet another factor you need to bring into the mix. And that’s the cost of living. Given the sheer size of the state, the cost of living can vary widely from county to county, even town to town.

Say your marital home was in Encinitas, in San Diego County. And you’re the one paying alimony. And your recipient spouse is moving to Ontario, east of Los Angeles, after the divorce. There is about a 20% difference in the cost of living between these two places. Do you pay them based on what it cost to live in Encinitas? Or do you pay them based on what it will cost to live in Ontario?

Good question…

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And California housing prices!

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Since 2018, California housing prices in some areas have increased 100 percent. One-hundred percent! Since divorce only creates expense, and two houses more expensive to own than one, how the heck are you both going to establish separate residences in The Golden State? Especially if things were already tight when married?

Adding to California’s housing challenges are 30-year fixed mortgage rates which are at, or near, a 20-year high. That means, if one of you is planning on staying in the home, and buying the other out, you’ll be refinancing at a much higher interest rate than you currently enjoy. And either need more in alimony, or have less cash left over to pay it.

There may be no amount of spousal support that will allow each of you to stay in California. Forcing one (or both) of you to relocate to a lower cost state. So how is alimony negotiated then?

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Determining an amount of alimony is just one piece of a larger picture.

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You also need to determine the duration. And just like determining an amount, duration is not so easy to agree on.

Despite what you’ve heard about alimony in California after 10 years, there is no set formula for determining how many years you need to be married to get alimony in California. Or for how long it will last.

The answer once again is you and your spouse will have to negotiate it.

What if you have children?

You may have heard that California alimony amounts are based in part, on the net income of the paying spouse. This means if you have minor children, and there is child support involved, that will reduce the amount of net income available to pay alimony. Now in some states, alimony must be determined first, before a child support amount may be agreed on. But in California, the opposite is true.

In California, alimony can only be determined once a child support award has been agreed upon.

The child support award is deducted from the paying party’s net income, and that “new” net income is then used to determine spousal support. But then if the recipient of child support’s household income goes up, shouldn’t that reduce the amount of spousal support to be paid?

All good questions – with no easy answers.

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When thinking of spousal support, most people think of the “check in the mail” approach.

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For example, you and your spouse could agree that in exchange for not getting that monthly check in the mail, one of you would take a larger share of the community property division, to offset the amount of support that would have been paid out over time. Or consider lump sum alimony or an alimony buyout whereby you’d calculate the present value of the future stream of alimony payments and come to an agreement on how much cash would be needed to “buy out” the spousal support obligation. Or provide alimony for a soon-to-be-ex spouse to return to school, get additional training, or open a business, in order to increase their chances of becoming financially self-sufficient

The bottom line is there’s no such thing as “typical spousal support.”

And there are many different ways to resolve this issue as you’re about to find out.

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But there are actually five types of alimony in California!

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In California, there are actually 5 different types of alimony available to you and your spouse to discuss and come to an agreement on. And they are:

1.) Temporary alimony

Temporary alimony in California is paid when you and your spouse are separated but your divorce has not yet been finalized. Temporary alimony is determined using a guideline that varies across 5 county-based formulas: Santa Clara, Alameda, Marin, Kings, and Yolo.

In general, the guideline takes 35% to 40% of the higher-earning spouse’s income and subtracts 40% to 50% of the lower-earning spouse’s income. And which percentage is used for each of your incomes varies by county.

It is important to note that the determination of temporary alimony is typically based on the last 12-months of earnings for you and your spouse and may not end up being the long-term alimony amount that you and your spouse agree on.

2.) Rehabilitative alimony

The idea of alimony in California is that it is only paid until the recipient party (spouse) becomes self-sufficient. But how long that will ultimately take after the marriage ends is a subject of great debate. And there is no easy formula or guideline used to determine it.

Rehabilitative alimony is the most common type of spousal support in California and has an amount and duration. The payments are intended to allow the receiving spouse some period of time to bring their post-marital lifestyle closer to (or in line with) the marital lifestyle.

There may be times when given the ages, educational levels of the parties, or a host of other factors, it’s impossible for one of you to begin earning an income commensurate with the marital lifestyle, permanent alimony may be more appropriate.

3.) Permanent alimony

Unlike rehabilitative alimony, permanent spousal support has no duration and is typically paid until you and/or your ex-spouse passes away, or if you’re the party receiving it, you get re-married.

And while the amount may remain constant through the entire term, it may also be modified if, for example, the payor party retires, or encounters some other involuntary change in financial circumstances that impacts their ability to pay.

4.) Reimbursement alimony

Reimbursement alimony may be used either alone, or in conjunction with, other types of spousal support. It is intended to address a specific goal.

A common use of rehabilitative spousal support in California is for one party (spouse) to pay for the other party to go back to school and earn a degree. In turn, the recipient spouses’ earning potential is in theory greatly increased because they’ll have a marketable skill, and the need for additional spousal support in future years is reduced and/or eliminated.

5.) Lump-sum alimony

It is possible to “buy out” an alimony obligation by exchanging assets or agreeing to take on liabilities instead of making regular periodic payments. For some, the idea of paying spousal support is an unpleasant reminder of a painful past and so they wish to sever ties to their ex-spouse.

The challenge with lump-sum spousal support is that if the recipient spouse remarries, the payment or accommodation has already been made. And therefore the spouse who was the payor of the lump-sum, or took on the additional debts, will have no ability to ask for modification.

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There is more than meets the eye when it comes to alimony.

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As you’re learning, alimony is not a one-size-fits-all topic and every couple’s situation and circumstances are unique. And if you have children, and child support is involved, it gets even more complex! So coming to a fair agreement on alimony with your soon-to-be ex-spouse requires more than just a passing conversation or a wild guess. And as you’re starting to see, there’s a lot involved in this highly complex matter.

And a lot of places you can make costly mistakes!

In the majority of cases, this issue is much too complex and emotionally charged for you to attempt to determine on your own.

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When lawyers get involved, it’s a problem.

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Because there’s no formula, if you go the attorney route, your family lawyers can drag your negotiations on forever.

Fighting and fighting. Around and around in circles – in a very gray area. All while billing you their outrageous hourly fees.

Until neither you nor your spouse has any money left to keep paying your legal fees. And there’s no money left for alimony! Just one more reason it’s better to not involve family lawyers in your divorce negotiations.

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When a California court judge gets involved, it’s a problem.

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And if the issue cannot be resolved between the two of you and your lawyers, your case will go in front of a judge. There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines in court who gets what on a case-by-case basis.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? Because they’ll dictate the terms of the settlement and spousal support order you are to pay or receive. Using the 14 vague “factors” listed above.

And each of you might wind up with an alimony outcome you don’t think is fair or that doesn’t meet your needs.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate an amount and duration each spouse finds fair. And negotiation is exactly what divorce mediation in California is all about. In mediation, you get to decide – and come to an agreement you both agree is fair and equitable – out of court – instead of letting your circumstances and future be decided by a stranger.

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You’ll get the best California spousal support result by mediating with us.

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Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of alimony and spousal support, we’ll help you determine which factors apply in your situation and discuss with you both how they may impact the amount and/or duration of alimony in your California divorce.

We’ll discuss which of the five types of alimony in California (listed below) may be appropriate in your case. Explore the feasibility of using some combination of alimony types in conjunction with child support and equitable distribution, as all three topics are inter-connected. And actively guide you through our comprehensive budgeting process to reflect your marital as well as projected post-marital expenses, so we can take a close look together at what each of you earns, spends, and will need to move forward.

We’ll then help you negotiate an alimony result you both find fair and will best enable both of you to meet your financial obligations after you’re divorced.

And since we offer flat-fee mediation services, we have no vested interest in prolonging the conflict because we don’t bill you hourly as a divorce lawyer would. If you want to resolve alimony so it’s mutually-agreeable to both of you and doesn’t bankrupt you in the process, mediate your divorce with Equitable Mediation.

Equitable Mediation enables you to get a fair alimony outcome in your no-fault divorce.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

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border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” border_color=”var(–awb-color5)” size=”large” padding_top=”” padding_right=”” padding_bottom=”” padding_left=”” fusion_font_family_button_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_button_font=”700″ font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” stretch=”default” margin_top=”22px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” icon=”” hover_icon=”” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=””]Get Started[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” 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animation_delay=”0.5″ last=”true” border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ font_size=”38px” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”60px” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ class=”c-anim”]Guide to Divorce Mediation in California[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between private mediation and mediation through the California courts?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Unlike other states which offer court-connected mediation programs to help couples resolve all issues related to their divorce, in California, “full cycle” mediation is only conducted privately. Couples will hire a mediator, typically before they file with the court, to help them negotiate and come to agreement on all issues surrounding their divorce.

In California, the only option to participate in court-ordered mediation is for child custody mediation. So if you and your spouse were to disagree on any financial matters such as child support, spousal support, or community property division, you’d be on your own to resolve the differences between you.

Or if you were unable – which is quite common – you would need to hire a private neutral third party mediator, or family law attorney, to help you reach an agreement. As you can see, there is a big difference in completeness between private mediation and court-connected mediation. Which is why couples who wish to mediate, do so privately.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is divorce mediation required in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. Divorce mediation is not required in California, although it is encouraged. California courts only mandate mediation for child custody disputes.

If you and your spouse wish to mediate all divorce issues comprehensively, you would need to pursue private mediation.

While you certainly have the right to each hire an attorney and litigate your divorce, we’ve found that given the proven effectiveness and efficiency of mediation, many couples are instead choosing to peacefully resolve the issues surrounding their divorce by hiring a private mediator like us.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the California divorce mediation process?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session.

In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

• Developing a framework for your negotiations;
• Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
• Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
• Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
• And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online – using Zoom – and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe – and depends greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related California court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to have your divorce filed with the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge typically in six to nine months as there is a six-month waiting period in California.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I also need a lawyer if I use a divorce mediator?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Some people choose to speak with a divorce lawyer throughout the mediation, or after mediation is completed. Especially if they want advice on family law matters as giving advice is not something a mediator is permitted to do – even if they are a lawyer. This is your divorce, so if you’d like to get a lawyer’s perspective on a particular issue(s), we would encourage you do so. However you are not required at any point in your divorce to work with, or speak to, an attorney if you so choose.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do my spouse and I have to be in agreement on any or all issues before starting mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. You are not required to have everything decided before starting mediation. In fact, many divorcing couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them discuss and resolve the issues. This way, they can ensure all issues will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the time and attention they require.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will mediation work in complex cases?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While we can’t speak for all California mediators, for us the answer is a resounding yes. Given our expertise working with employees or founders of equity backed startups, divorces after a long-term marriage, divorce with a business involved, and those involving high assets, complicated compensation, variable compensation and deferred compensation issues, and gray divorces, most cases we handle have a high degree of complexity.

More about who we help

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Will mediation work in a high-conflict divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

It depends. While mediation allows divorcing couples to negotiate and come to an agreement they both find fair, communication difficulties which are typical of a high-conflict divorce, often prevent them from working directly with each other – which is a key requirement in mediation. If they’re willing to work with our divorce coach Cheryl and put their emotions aside, then yes, they can mediate. Otherwise divorce mediation is not recommended.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How is working with a mediator different than collaborative divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While both the divorce mediation and collaborative divorce process choose to focus on keeping a couple out of court, there are a significant number of ways in which they are different. That’s why we wrote this article about mediation vs the collaborative process to help you understand the differences between the two divorce options, and the advantages we believe https://equitablemediation.commediation provides.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between a California divorce mediator and a divorce mediation attorney?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorneys, some are mental health professionals. While others, like Joe, have a financial background. Regardless of their backgrounds, an experienced mediator should be able to address all issues a couple faces. However in our opinion, since 3 of the 4 issues in a divorce are financial in nature, we believe it’s best to choose a mediator with a strong financial acumen.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediators give me legal advice or tell me what to do?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. A mediator cannot give you legal advice – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as a neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice. If you do want or need advice a mediator may recommend you speak to a lawyer but the decision to do so is entirely up to you.

Read our helpful article to learn more about the differences between mediators and lawyers for divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What is the cost of divorce mediation in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

When exploring divorce mediation costs, many people initially focus on hourly rates or flat fees. However, the total expense involves much more than the mediator’s upfront charges.

The Experience of Your Mediator

An experienced mediator does more than simply facilitate current discussions. They strategically help you and your spouse address both present and potential future issues, creating a comprehensive agreement that can prevent costly complications down the line.

Consider this: resolving a missed issue or modifying a divorce decree after the fact can cost between $10,000 and $20,000. Ex-spouses are typically less cooperative after divorce, making post-divorce negotiations significantly more challenging and expensive. A thorough agreement developed during mediation is an investment in cost avoidance.

Services Included in Mediation

Not all mediation services are created equal. Some mediators offer comprehensive support that can ultimately save you money, including:

• Emotional support and divorce coaching
• Drafting detailed, easily understood written agreements
• Comprehensive issue resolution that minimizes the need for future legal interventions
• Flexibility regarding attorney involvement

While an inexperienced mediator might offer a lower initial fee, the long-term costs can be substantial. You might end up spending an additional $3,500 to $5,000 having agreements re-drafted by attorneys, or $10,000 to $20,000 resolving unforeseen issues.

Understanding the Total Cost

Divorce mediation in California typically ranges from $6,000 to $10,000. This includes the mediator’s fee, filing professional’s fee, and court fees. However, the true cost depends on multiple factors: the comprehensiveness of services, the mediator’s experience, and the potential for future legal interventions. When choosing a mediator, consider the value of a thorough, forward-thinking approach that can save you time, money, and stress in the long run.

To learn more, read: The Real Truth Behind Divorce Mediation Costs

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Is mediation cheaper than divorce litigation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Absolutely. The average cost of mediation is between $6,000 and $10,000. Whereas with divorce litigation, according to an article published in the Motley Fool, will cost couples on average $46,600 – but with one important caveat. If the issues to be litigated include alimony or child support, that amount can skyrocket. With average costs of a litigated divorce exceeding $100,000.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does a divorce in California take using mediation?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the length of the process varies by couple and the complexities of their case and interpersonal dynamics, generally speaking, mediation with us can be completed in 8-12 weeks. That includes time for you to complete financial discovery, meet with the mediator for typically 2 to 4 mediation sessions, give the mediator time to draft your written agreement (MOU), and for you to have time to review it and provide feedback. Once mediation is completed, you will then enter the filing phase to complete your divorce with the California courts. It is here where the process slows down as there is a 6-month waiting period in California, so your divorce will not be final until that waiting period has passed, and your divorce has been ordered by the courts.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is mediation recommended in a California divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

The mediation process is known to be a viable option for you and your spouse if:

• There is a degree of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you are both willing to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process;
• You and your spouse are both willing to engage in an honest, transparent and “good faith” negotiation including full financial disclosure;
• You want an experienced professional mediator to help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required issues, but you want to make your own decisions, retain full control over your divorce agreement, and avoid litigation and/or attorney involvement.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is mediation not recommended?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

In order for it to work, mediation depends on three things. The first is full disclosure. Because mediation is what’s known as a “good faith negotiation” it requires that both spouses provide any and all financial documentation asked for by the mediator, or the other spouse, and truthfully answer any questions asked of them.

Second is mental acuity. Because you and your spouse will be making your own decisions, you must both be of “sound mind” and be able to understand complex concepts.

Finally, there can be no restraining order in effect. Because a mediator will typically speak with both spouses simultaneously, they must both be able to interact with each, and there can be no legal order preventing them from doing so. If you and your spouse do not meet these requirements, mediation will not work for your divorce case.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”In California, do the parties have to go to court to get a divorce?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No. There is no requirement that the parties go to family court in California order to get a divorce provided the proper information is exchanged between the parties, all issues and disputes are resolved and agreed upon, and the proper paperwork such as your Marital Settlement Agreement and divorce petition is drafted and filed with family court services.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the residency requirements in a divorce in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You must be a resident of the state for six (6) months, and the county you wish to file in for three (3). If you’ve recently moved, and don’t yet meet the California residency requirements, you can always begin the mediation process, work through the issues with the guidance of your mediator, and then file your divorce or legal separation. In our experience, parties can come to resolution on all issues, and have a settlement agreement in hand, within four to six months. Thus allowing time to pass, and moving the parties closer to meeting the residency requirements.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What’s the difference between family law mediation and divorce mediation in California?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married California parents make decisions on, and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process. While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a mediator, could fall under its umbrella, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can I still mediate if domestic violence is an issue?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

If you and your spouse are not permitted to be in the same room with each other, but are permitted telephone contact with each other, then our online mediation process may be an option if there is domestic violence or a power imbalance in your relationship.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to come to your office for mediation sessions?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout California from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in cities such as: Los Angeles, San Diego, San Jose, San Francisco, Fresno, Sacramento, Long Beach, Oakland, Bakersfield, Anaheim, Santa Ana, Riverside, Stockton, Irvine, Chula Vista, Fremont, San Bernardino, Modesto, Moreno Valley, Fontana, Santa Clarita, Oxnard, Huntington Beach, Glendale, Ontario, Rancho Cucamonga, Oceanside, Santa Rosa, Garden Grove, Elk Grove, Corona, Hayward, Lancaster, Palmdale, Salinas, Sunnyvale, Pomona, Escondido, Torrance, Roseville, Pasadena, Orange, Fullerton, Visalia, Santa Clara, Concord, Thousand Oaks, Simi Valley, Victorville, and Vallejo.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

• Physical and legal custody
• Spousal support (alimony) and child support
• Equitable distribution and community property division
• Business ownership
• Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

• Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
• Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
• Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
• Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
• Spousal support and asset division mediation
• Divorce coaching and emotional support
• Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

• 98% case resolution rate
• Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
• Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
• Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
• Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

• California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
• New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
• Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
• New York: NYC, Long Island
• Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
• Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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Effective March 1, 2026, New York’s statutory income cap for spousal maintenance calculations increased from $228,000 to $241,000 — and this post has been updated to reflect that change. The new figures will remain in effect through February 28, 2028.

When one spouse earns significantly more than $241,000 annually, you enter territory where New York’s maintenance formula stops being automatic and starts getting discretionary. This shift from formula to negotiation creates both opportunity and uncertainty. Understanding how to approach this discretionary zone strategically can make a substantial difference in reaching an agreement that works for your family. More importantly, it’s where mediation gives you control over decisions that litigation would impose on you.

The Formula Stops at $241,000

New York uses a specific formula to calculate spousal maintenance for income up to $241,000. The formula considers both spouses’ incomes and whether child support is being paid, then produces a guideline amount. This approach provides consistency and predictability for most divorcing couples.

But that $241,000 figure represents a cap, not a ceiling for maintenance itself. When the higher-earning spouse’s income exceeds this amount, the formula applies only to the first $241,000. Everything above that threshold falls into the discretionary zone.

If you earn $300,000 annually, the maintenance calculation uses the formula for the first $241,000 of income. For the remaining $59,000, there’s no automatic formula. Instead, that portion becomes subject to negotiation and consideration of multiple factors. Rather than plugging numbers into a predetermined equation, you’re now in territory where context, circumstances, and negotiation strategy matter significantly. In litigation, someone who knows nothing about your family makes these discretionary decisions for you. In mediation, you maintain control.

What “Discretionary” Actually Means

The term “discretionary” doesn’t mean arbitrary. New York identifies fifteen specific factors to consider when evaluating maintenance on income above the cap: the age and health of both spouses, length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and property, present and future earning capacity, standard of living during the marriage, contributions each spouse made, career or education sacrifices, need for additional training, tax implications, loss of inheritance rights, difficulty obtaining employment, custodial responsibilities affecting earning capacity, reduced earning capacity from foregone opportunities, equitable distribution of marital property, and wasteful dissipation of assets.

What makes these factors powerful is that they allow you to craft agreements reflecting your actual circumstances rather than fitting into a one-size-fits-all formula. That opportunity disappears in litigation, where decisions get made based on whatever arguments attorneys present, not on collaborative problem-solving between spouses.

The Negotiation Landscape Above the Cap

When significant income falls into this discretionary zone, the negotiation approach shifts dramatically. You have room to construct agreements that account for the nuances of your financial situation.

Consider a scenario in which one spouse earns $400,000, and the other earns $80,000 over a 20-year marriage. The guideline calculation applies to the first $241,000, but the remaining $159,000 creates substantial negotiating territory.

How you approach that $159,000 depends on numerous considerations. Did one spouse sacrifice career advancement to support the other’s career trajectory? Is there a significant age difference affecting future earning capacity? Are there health considerations impacting workforce reentry? Did the higher-earning spouse’s income grow due to contributions both spouses made?

In mediation, we explore how these factors apply to your situation. In litigation, these nuances often get lost in the adversarial process, replaced by rigid positions designed to win rather than find workable solutions.

Common Scenarios and Strategic Considerations

The discretionary zone becomes particularly significant when one spouse has variable compensation, such as bonuses, stock options, or restricted stock units. Should maintenance reflect peak earning years or average income over time? These questions demand financial sophistication—understanding how different compensation components work, vest, and should be valued fairly.

Career sacrifices represent another critical consideration. If one spouse stepped back from career advancement, turned down promotions, or relocated repeatedly to support the other’s career, that history becomes highly relevant. The formula doesn’t capture these economic partnership dynamics, but these discretionary factors do.

Age and health factors also matter significantly. A fifty-five-year-old who’s been out of the workforce for twenty years faces different challenges than a thirty-five-year-old with recent experience. The standard of living during the marriage plays a key role, too—when substantial income exceeds the cap, it often funds a lifestyle both spouses enjoy.

Why Financial Expertise Changes Everything in High-Income Negotiations

When income significantly exceeds $241,000, you need more than generic mediation guidance. You need someone who can analyze complex compensation structures and model different scenarios with precision. Many mediators come from legal or mental health backgrounds and lack the financial training to navigate these situations effectively.

Compensation packages at higher income levels often include restricted stock units, performance bonuses, deferred compensation, and equity grants. With an MBA in finance, we help you understand what these components are actually worth, how they should be valued for maintenance purposes, and what approaches reasonably account for their value while addressing uncertainty.

We don’t just calculate what the formula produces and call it done. We help you explore creative solutions. Perhaps adjusting the property division makes more sense than higher spousal maintenance payments. Maybe structured stepdowns in maintenance better account for anticipated career transitions. In litigation, these creative approaches become much harder to implement.

The Relationship Between Duration and Amount

When significant income falls into the discretionary zone, the relationship between maintenance amount and duration becomes a key negotiation point. New York provides advisory schedules suggesting maintenance duration based on marriage length, but these are guidelines, not requirements.

For a 15-year marriage, the advisory range suggests roughly 2 to 4.5 years of maintenance. But when substantial discretionary income is involved, you might negotiate a shorter duration with a higher amount, or longer duration with a more moderate amount. In mediation, we model how various approaches affect your financial futures. You might discover that a five-year payment at a moderate level works better for both of you than a two-year payment at a higher amount. Those conversations don’t happen in the adversarial environment of litigation.

Building Your Approach

Approaching the discretionary zone strategically requires understanding your financial realities and what factors support your position. If you’re the higher-earning spouse, consider which factors might justify limiting maintenance on income above the cap. If you’re the lower-earning spouse, identify factors that demonstrate why maintenance should reflect the complete income picture.

Strong financial documentation becomes critical. Compensation packages with bonuses, equity, and deferred elements require a clear explanation. Historical income patterns matter. Evidence of career sacrifices, contributions to your spouse’s success, or health limitations that affect your earning capacity all strengthen your negotiating position. In mediation, we review these materials together to ensure an accurate financial understanding informs negotiations.

Maintaining Control Over High-Stakes Decisions

The discretionary zone above New York’s $241,000 maintenance cap is precisely where you want to avoid litigation. The discretionary approach allows agreements that reflect your actual circumstances, but only if you negotiate collaboratively rather than fight in an adversarial system.

In litigation, you’re gambling on how a stranger will weigh these fifteen factors based on competing arguments from attorneys who don’t know your family. You lose control over decisions about income that took years of joint effort to build.

In mediation, you maintain control. You can explore different approaches, model various scenarios, and reach agreements that make sense for your family’s future. When your compensation includes variable components like bonuses or equity, we help you think through how to handle them fairly and sustainably. When career sacrifices are part of your story, we help you articulate how that history should inform the maintenance calculation.

This is where financial complexity expertise truly matters. We don’t just facilitate conversations—we actively guide you through the analysis, present options, and help you understand the implications of different choices. That combination of financial acumen and mediation skill gives you the best chance of reaching agreements that are both fair and sustainable, without sacrificing the control and dignity that litigation strips away.

The difference between mediation and litigation isn’t just about saving money or avoiding court. When income substantially exceeds the cap, it’s about maintaining control over discretionary decisions that profoundly affect your financial future. It’s about crafting solutions that reflect your family’s unique circumstances rather than accepting whatever gets imposed on you. And it’s about working with someone who has both the financial expertise to analyze complex compensation and the mediation experience to guide you toward agreements that actually work in practice, not just on paper.

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FAQs About Spousal Maintenance in New York

[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hover_color=”#f4f3ef” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” content_font_size=”16px” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)”][fusion_toggle title=”1. What is spousal maintenance in New York and how is it different from alimony?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]Spousal maintenance is the current legal term in New York for financial support that one spouse pays to another during or after divorce. “Alimony” is an older term replaced in New York law years ago. The purpose is to help the financially dependent spouse meet reasonable needs and become self-supporting.

In mediation, we discuss maintenance as part of your overall financial planning rather than as something imposed by external rules. Understanding that maintenance serves as a bridge to financial independence helps frame productive conversations about what makes sense for your specific situation.[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”2. What are the different types of spousal maintenance available in New York?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”New York recognizes three types: informal spousal support during separation, temporary maintenance paid during the divorce process, and post-divorce maintenance paid after finalization. Temporary maintenance helps maintain financial stability while the divorce proceeds, while post-divorce maintenance facilitates the transition to financial independence. Receiving temporary maintenance doesn’t automatically guarantee post-divorce maintenance. In mediation, we help you structure the transition between phases using step-down provisions or rehabilitative plans that align with realistic timelines. This integrated approach works better than treating phases separately, which often happens in litigation.” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]New York recognizes three types: informal spousal support during separation, temporary maintenance paid during the divorce process, and post-divorce maintenance paid after finalization.

Temporary maintenance helps maintain financial stability while the divorce proceeds, while post-divorce maintenance facilitates the transition to financial independence. Receiving temporary maintenance doesn’t automatically guarantee post-divorce maintenance.

In mediation, we help you structure the transition between phases using step-down provisions or rehabilitative plans that align with realistic timelines. This integrated approach works better than treating phases separately, which often happens in litigation.[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”3. How is spousal maintenance calculated in New York?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

New York uses statutory formulas that consider both spouses’ incomes and whether child support is involved. Without child support, the formula subtracts 20% of the receiving spouse’s income from 30% of the paying spouse’s income. With child support, it subtracts 25% of the receiving spouse’s income from 20% of the paying spouse’s income. There’s also a check calculation: 40% of combined income minus the receiving spouse’s income. The lower result generally serves as the guideline amount.

As of 2025, the formula applies to income up to $228,000. For income above that cap, how New York approaches maintenance becomes more discretionary, based on factors like standard of living during the marriage, earning capacity, career sacrifices, and health conditions.

While these formulas provide a starting point, they often produce results that don’t match real-world circumstances. In mediation, we calculate what the guidelines would produce, then explore whether that makes sense for your situation or whether creative alternatives might work better. With an MBA in finance, we can model different scenarios, show you tax implications, and help you understand long-term financial impact. This rigorous financial analysis goes well beyond simply plugging numbers into a formula.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”4. How long does spousal maintenance last in New York?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]How New York approaches duration depends on marriage length. For 0-15 year marriages, maintenance typically ranges from 15-30% of the marriage length. For 15-20 year marriages, it’s 30-40%. For marriages over 20 years, it’s 35-50%.

These are ranges, not fixed rules. A twelve-year marriage might result in maintenance for roughly 2-4 years, depending on factors like age, employability, and career sacrifices. Maintenance typically ends when either spouse dies or when the receiving spouse remarries.

In mediation, we model different duration scenarios and their long-term impacts. We help you think through whether standard ranges make sense or whether step-down provisions or review mechanisms would work better.[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”5. Who qualifies for spousal maintenance in New York?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Qualification requires demonstrating financial need—meaning you lack sufficient income or assets to meet reasonable expenses—while the other spouse has the financial ability to provide support. If both spouses earn similar incomes and have comparable resources, maintenance is unlikely.

How New York evaluates eligibility involves examining income disparity, particularly where one spouse sacrificed career opportunities to support the family. The requesting spouse’s employability skills and realistic earning potential matter. A spouse’s role as homemaker or support system for the higher-earning spouse’s career is relevant.

In mediation, we examine actual earning capacity, career timelines, and financial needs with specificity rather than making worst-case or best-case assumptions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”6. What factors does New York consider when determining spousal maintenance?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

How New York approaches maintenance involves thirteen statutory factors: age and health of both parties, earning capacity, need for education or training expenses, wasteful dissipation of marital property, domestic violence that inhibited earning capacity, medical insurance availability and cost, care of children, reduced lifetime earning capacity due to forgone career opportunities, pre-marital joint household duration, contributions to the marriage, property distribution, tax consequences, and other relevant factors.

In litigation, attorneys argue about how these factors apply. In mediation, we work through them together to build shared understanding and structure maintenance that acknowledges what’s most important to both of you.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”7. Is spousal maintenance automatic in New York divorces?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, maintenance is not automatic. Unlike child support which is mandatory when children are involved, maintenance is based on specific financial circumstances.

In litigation, someone petitions for maintenance and makes arguments about why it should be awarded. In mediation, you can have open conversations about whether maintenance makes sense, how much, and for how long, without adversarial positioning. You can negotiate your own arrangement as part of a comprehensive settlement that considers property division, tax planning, and your long-term goals together.

This flexibility is one of mediation’s most valuable advantages.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”8. What are the tax implications of spousal maintenance in New York?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

For divorces finalized after January 1, 2019, federal tax law changed significantly: the paying spouse can no longer deduct maintenance payments, and the receiving spouse doesn’t report them as income on federal returns. However, New York state tax law didn’t change—maintenance payments remain deductible for the paying spouse and taxable to the receiving spouse on state returns.

This creates a split where you must file federal and state taxes differently regarding maintenance. The federal tax law change eliminated what had been a significant incentive for higher maintenance amounts, as payors could previously reduce their taxable income through these deductions.

This tax complexity is exactly where financial expertise makes a critical difference. Understanding the actual after-tax cost and benefit requires sophisticated modeling that most people—and many mediators—aren’t equipped to do. With an MBA in finance, we can model the tax impact accurately, show you side-by-side scenarios, and help you structure maintenance in ways that maximize the benefit to both parties when tax treatment is considered. This kind of analysis can reveal opportunities for structuring agreements that litigation simply doesn’t accommodate.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”9. Can spousal maintenance be paid as a lump sum instead of monthly payments?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Yes, lump-sum maintenance is possible. Rather than monthly payments over time, one spouse provides the full maintenance amount upfront.

This works when the paying spouse has sufficient liquid assets and values finality. For the receiving spouse, benefits include immediate access to funds and no concerns about future ability or willingness to pay. However, recipients lose flexibility since lump-sum payments typically can’t be modified.

Evaluating whether lump-sum maintenance makes sense requires rigorous financial analysis: calculating present value of payment streams, assessing liquidity and tax implications, and understanding opportunity costs. This is where financial expertise matters significantly.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”10. What is the income cap for calculating spousal maintenance in New York?” open=”no” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]As of 2025, New York’s statutory formula applies to income up to $228,000. For income above that cap, how maintenance is determined becomes more discretionary based on factors like standard of living during the marriage, financial needs, and ability to maintain reasonable needs while providing support.

When you’re dealing with income above the cap, financial sophistication becomes essential. Rather than a simple formula, you’re negotiating based on complex factors, often involving variable compensation like bonuses, stock options, or business income. In mediation with financial expertise, we can analyze these complex structures, model different scenarios, and help you structure agreements that make financial sense.[/fusion_toggle][/fusion_accordion][fusion_text disable_idd=”no” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” animation_direction=”left” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″]

The Mediation Advantage for Maintenance Discussions

Throughout these FAQs, you’ve seen references to mediation as an alternative to litigation. In litigation, attorneys fight over what guidelines produce and argue about how factors apply. You’re spending tens of thousands on adversarial processes that often produce outcomes neither party accepts. For co-parents, this poisons the relationship foundation you need for years ahead.

In mediation, you’re working together to understand what the guidelines say, whether they fit your circumstances, and what alternatives might work better. When you combine that collaborative process with genuine financial expertise—the ability to model scenarios, calculate present values, analyze tax impacts, and structure creative solutions—you get agreements that are both fair and sustainable.

That’s what makes the difference between maintenance arrangements that work and ones that create ongoing conflict.

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Lay the groundwork for a peaceful divorce

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