Tag: Divorce Mediation

Online Divorce Mediation: The Complete Guide to Resolving Your Divorce from Virtually Anywhere

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While we’ve been performing divorce mediation online since 2011, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly increased the number of online divorce mediation service providers.

But just because someone calls themselves an online mediator, it doesn’t mean they have the skills or expertise to effectively resolve the issues of your divorce in this way. That’s why it’s so important to carefully choose a professional mediator well versed in the unique nuances of mediating online.

To help you make an informed decision, and understand more about our proprietary online mediation process and services, I’ve put together this handy guide.

I’ll cover:

What is online divorce mediation?
Do you need to retain attorneys if you mediate online?
How does online divorce mediation work and what is our divorce process?
What makes us experts in our field compared to other mediators?
How is our role is different as an online mediator versus an in-person mediator?
What are the best ways to make your mediation sessions efficient and effective?
What are the benefits of mediating online and when might it be inappropriate?
What are the technology and privacy concerns in an online environment?
And what percentage of Equitable Mediation’s client couples successfully reach agreement? (spoiler alert – it’s 98%)

What is online divorce mediation?

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Just as if we were mediating face-to-face, I’ll actively guide you and your spouse through our comprehensive virtual divorce mediation process where I’ll help you identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve, all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce. But instead of the three of us sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) and connect with me via Zoom.

Unlike other service providers who use faceless automated systems to “mediate” your divorce, our online mediation is hands-on, real divorce mediation. The only difference is the format used to conduct your family mediation sessions.

Digital platforms are transforming divorce resolution! Before Zoom became popular, divorce mediation required in-person meetings with a mediator in their office. Restricting divorcing couples to local practitioners in their area.

Now, parties seeking divorce mediation services can conduct an initial consultation with a highly skilled mediator from anywhere, choosing the best possible divorce professional for their unique situation.

Do we need attorneys if we mediate?

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Before we jump in, let’s clarify something about involving attorneys in your divorce.

There is no legal requirement that you involve attorneys in your divorce. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require spouses to hire attorneys to consult with throughout mediation.

While consulting with attorneys is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage.

Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation – with or without attorneys.

How does online divorce mediation work with Equitable Mediation?

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Just because a person knows how to use Zoom, it does not necessarily make them an effective online mediator. There are some unique requirements and skills an online mediator must possess to effectively guide couples to divorce.

Let’s take a closer look at what working together would look like and how we differ from other mediators.

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We use a secure video conferencing platform called Zoom to conduct our online mediation sessions.
We use a secure online file-sharing and collaboration system which allows the sharing of documents, as well the ability to securely communicate.
We use an online calendar program to allow you to view my calendar in real-time and schedule your divorce mediation sessions at your convenience.
We use an online payment processor to securely collect payments.
And we use standard software programs such as Adobe, PowerPoint, Word, and Excel for our proprietary training documents, forms, and worksheets which we’ve developed and refined over our 14 years of delivering online mediation services.

This makes for a more user-friendly mediation process to both become our clients and to complete your divorce. Compared to other mediators, your divorce will be far more efficient.

Enabling you to focus on what matters most – your family, your finances, and your future.

Our divorce process

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Because the three of us will not be in the same room as each other, we know from experience – unlike other mediators – that being able to keep negotiations productive and on track requires a well-designed and thorough online mediation process.

At a high level, this is what our online divorce process would look like when working together:

Action Item	Who’s Involved?	Purpose?
Mediation Client Onboarding	Equitable Mediation Client Support	Provide access to our secure client portal, and instruct you and your spouse on the discovery process and how to schedule your first divorce mediation session. Provide Mediation Roadmap containing important milestones.
Mediation Strategy Session	Joe, Client Couple	Set goals and develop a tailored plan for addressing each of your issues and concerns throughout your mediation negotiations.
Financial Discovery & Pre-Work	Client Couple	Gather and submit documents, forms, and worksheets that educate Joe on your finances and situation to allow him to effectively conduct your mediation and guide you to agreement.
Mediation Sessions	Joe, Client Couple	Work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including: parenting and child custody, child support, alimony, and property division.
Mediation Negotiation Recap	Joe, Client Couple	To ensure all issues and concerns were addressed during your divorce mediation sessions, and that agreements reached are agreeable to you and your spouse.
Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)	Joe	Comprehensive document that details all final agreements reached in mediation.
MOU Review Session (if requested)	Joe, Client Couple	Answer any questions you and/or your spouse may have about your MOU or anything that was discussed in mediation.

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Our divorce process

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At a high level, this is what our online divorce process would look like when working together:

Step 1: Mediation Client Onboarding

Who: Equitable Mediation Client Support
Description: Provide access to our secure client portal, and instruct you and your spouse on the discovery process and how to schedule your first divorce mediation session. Provide Mediation Roadmap containing important milestones.

Step 2: Mediation Strategy Session

Who: Joe, Client Couple
Description: Set goals and develop a tailored plan for addressing each of your issues and concerns throughout your mediation negotiations.

Step 3: Financial Discovery & Pre-Work

Who: Client Couple
Description: Gather and submit documents, forms, and worksheets that educate Joe on your finances and situation to allow him to effectively conduct your mediation and guide you to agreement.

Step 4: Mediation Sessions

Who: Joe, Client Couple
Description: Work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including: parenting and child custody, child support, alimony, and property division.

Step 5: Mediation Negotiation Recap

Who: Joe, Client Couple
Description: To ensure all issues and concerns were addressed during your divorce mediation sessions, and that agreements reached are agreeable to you and your spouse.

Step 6: Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)

Who: Joe
Description: Comprehensive document that details all final agreements reached in mediation.

Step 7: MOU Review Session (if requested)

Who: Joe, Client Couple
Description: Answer any questions you and/or your spouse may have about your MOU or anything that was discussed in mediation.

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Additional roles of the mediator in an online environment

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While my primary goal as your mediator remains helping couples like you and your spouse avoid court and reach agreement in the areas of child custody, child support, alimony, and property division, there are several other responsibilities I have when conducting virtual divorce mediation sessions.

First, I need to ensure you and your spouse are in a quiet, distraction-free space. Unlike face-to-face meetings, virtual family mediation sessions can make it challenging to control the environment. Especially when other family members like young children are around!
Second, confidentiality in divorce mediation becomes more complex online. As your mediator, I will visually (and sometimes verbally) confirm that no additional people or other family members are present during virtual sessions and that no recording or screen sharing of any kind is taking place.
Third, I will offer frequent breaks and check ins to keep you focused. I understand that not everyone is used to being on phone or video conferences all day like I am. Our online divorce sessions are designed to allow ample time for breaks.
Finally, we offer a series of videos and training documents to help parties navigate our online platforms and tools and get educated on the various family mediation topics we’ll be covering such as: child custody, child support, alimony, and property division. This way you can come to session prepared to answer important questions and make decisions on the divorce issues we’ll be covering.

Preparing for virtual mediation sessions online

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Technical requirements

To begin, you will need a computer equipped with Internet services and a camera. Because you will be viewing a variety of forms, worksheets, software programs, and presentations, participating via phone or tablet in virtual sessions will be difficult.

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Financial discovery

Unlike in person divorce mediation where you can hand your mediator a physical stack of paperwork, in virtual divorce mediation, you’ll provide those documents to me electronically, uploading them to our secure client portal.

Creating a comfortable and private workspace

Divorce mediation sessions can last up to 2 hours. So choose a quiet, private space with good lighting and minimal background distractions. These are sensitive (and confidential) topics we’ll be discussing so taking the meeting from your car or a coffee shop is not ideal. And if you’re going to take the call from work, be sure you can be somewhere private, or have an office door you can close.

Communication strategies for effective online sessions

Our use of screen sharing to review documents together, and take notes in real-time so we’re “all on the same page,” helps reduce the potential for disagreement or misunderstanding.

Our use of video conferencing allows everyone to see facial expressions and nonverbal cues which can be helpful in understanding the “temperature” of the room – especially when you and your spouse are in separate locations.

And while we all expect 100% uptime, sometimes the Internet can fail us. So we encourage you to have a backup communication device like a phone in case your connection drops and you need to let us know.

All other communication protocols remain the same as in person mediation. Such as speaking clearly, taking turns talking, using “I” statements to express your feelings without blame, and keeping conversations solution-oriented, and child-focused.

Mental and emotional preparation

For some couples, online mediation services can feel transactional or distant. Lacking the human touch and contact that in person divorce mediation offers.

But by leveraging the communication strategies above, I promise you as your mediator, I will do my best to (and often can) alleviate many of those feelings. If your circumstances allow, and you decide your comfortable doing so, being in the same room with your spouse can make the process feel more personal.

And because the end of a marriage is an incredibly difficult and painful experience that no one is truly prepared for we offer divorce coaching to help support you both during this difficult time.

Benefits of mediating your divorce online

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Increased flexibility and convenience

Whether you’re traveling for work, or juggling family responsibilities, our virtual divorce mediation services removes many traditional obstacles that life throws at you.

For professionals who travel frequently, online mediation means you can participate in important discussions without disrupting your work schedule. Parents benefit too, as they can join our sessions from home without needing to arrange childcare.

And if it’s just not possible for one spouse to leave the house due to a disability or medical condition, this mediation format can be quite beneficial for you and other family members as they will not need to transport you or the other spouse to sessions.

Plus, with online mediation, you can avoid the stress of worrying about travel time, navigating traffic, or dealing with public transit delays. Just a simple video call – with no travel time whatsoever.

Reduced emotional stress

Going through a divorce is tough, and dealing with your ex-spouse face-to-face can be emotionally challenging. In the past, traditional mediation meant both parties had to be in the same room. Now, you and your ex can stay physically apart while working through your divorce negotiations.

This approach helps reduce emotional stress, making it easier to have productive conversations, and make important decisions, without the added pressure of being in the same physical location and space.

Faster resolution process

Balancing work schedules, commuting times, and family and childcare responsibilities can make coordinating divorce mediation meetings seem almost impossible. Online mediation changes all that by offering incredible flexibility.

Now, divorcing couples like you and can schedule sessions at times that work best for everyone involved, making the entire mediation process smoother and more convenient. This approach eliminates the stress of finding a single time and location that works for all parties, helping you reach a final agreement more efficiently.

When online mediation may be inappropriate

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When domestic violence is a concern

If a restraining order prevents you and your spouse from communicating directly, virtual mediation will not be an option and you will need to forgo mediation, retain a lawyer, and pursue your divorce through the court system. If you have the ability to make telephone or video contact, virtual mediation might work. But that depends on the level of conflict between you and your spouse.

Couples with a significant power imbalance

If one party is afraid to speak up in front of the other party, answer questions, provide information, etc., mediation (in general) will not work. In cases like these you may wish to use attorneys / the court system rather than a mediator to help in your circumstances.

The “technologically unsavvy”

Hard to believe but not everyone in life sits at a computer all day so for those individuals who don’t, completing online forms and worksheets, and scanning and uploading documents and files to a portal may not be an ideal way to resolve divorce issues.

Technology and privacy concerns

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Data protection in online platforms

Since you’ll be sharing a significant amount of sensitive information with me, as your online divorce mediator, we only use secure systems to exchange information, conduct sessions, and collect payment. And unless you give us express written permission, no one outside our offices will be allowed access to your files.

Ensuring confidentiality in the mediation process

Confidentiality helps facilitate open communication in mediation as you and the other party can speak freely about your issues without fear of consequences. It also builds trust as a confidential environment helps parties feel safe, leading to more productive discussions.

As part of our Agreement to Mediate, we have strict confidentiality provisions that we require clients to abide by. We also abide by the provisions contained in the Uniform Mediation Act in the states in which we practice.

Success rates and effectiveness of online mediation

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At this point it’s no secret since I already told you this in the introduction! While we can’t speak for other mediators, since 2008, our case resolution rate is 98%. And since we’ve been mediating online since 2011, we feel it’s safe to say that our success rate for online mediation is the same.

So when working with us, you have an excellent chance at coming to agreement on all issues required for you and your spouse to get a divorce. And avoid all the acrimony that comes from pursuing a divorce through the court system!

Mediation services designed for real life

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So there you have it! Now you know what online mediation is and hopefully agre we’re the right mediator for you.

If we sound like a good fit, and you live in one of the states where we practice, schedule an initial consultation for you and your spouse to get started.

And if you’re not ready to book a meeting with your spouse yet, you can set up an information call just for yourself to explore if online mediation is right for you.

We know going through a divorce isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be a total nightmare either. Our online mediation services are just one of the ways we can help make your divorce as smooth and stress-free as possible.

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FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:

A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)

Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

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Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

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Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

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There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

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No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

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Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

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You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

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Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:

Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;

An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.

Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;

Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.

Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;

If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.

Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;

Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

One spouse is incapacitated
Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.

There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.

A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.

One spouse refuses to participate
Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:

The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.

Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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January 30, 2026

Amicable Divorce Blueprint: 5 Steps to Peaceful Separation Without Court
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Amicable divorce. It sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Like “jumbo shrimp” or “working vacation.” Two words that just don’t seem like they should go together. But as a mediator who has been helping couples end their marriage peacefully for nearly 20 years, I can tell you that despite the complex emotions involved, it’s not only possible to have an amicable divorce, but it’s preferable.

You might think that hiring a divorce attorney and “fighting for everything you’re entitled to” will make you feel better. But 2 to 3 years later, when your bank account is empty, your kids are failing miserably in school, and you haven’t slept through the night in who knows how long, and you’re still not divorced, you’re going to regret that decision.

Let’s take a look at what you can do to avoid turning your divorce proceedings into an all-out disaster.

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What is an amicable divorce?

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An amicable divorce is one in which both spouses agree to resolve the terms of their divorce agreement cooperatively and respectfully – out of court – with the help of a neutral, expert mediator.

When they do, they greatly increase their chances of a fair and equitable outcome, that puts their children’s needs first, resolves the issues of their divorce in months rather years, and saves them tens of thousands of dollars.

Allowing them to more quickly move forward, begin to heal, and spend their time being great co-parents. Instead of being stuck in an endless loop of visits to their lawyers office, or a court house, while the emotional and financial devastation piles up on them and their families.

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5 Choices to make for an amicable split

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When I look back at the couples whose divorces were the most peaceful, cost-effective, and efficient – and where both spouses felt their agreement was fair to each of them and their kids – I found they all had 5 things in common.

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They made the decision to divorce without blame.

Regardless of the factors that led to the failure of your marriage, if you find yourself at the crossroads of divorce, the time for blame has passed. Your only choice now is to move forward.

If you choose to make the decision to divorce without placing blame on each other, and instead work on resolving the issues required to help you move forward, you stand an excellent chance of divorcing amicably.

Choose to rehash the past and blame each other for what went wrong during the marriage and your chances of having an amicable divorce go out the window.

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They focused on the big picture

Before you get wrapped up making sure you get “every last thing – and then some,” take the time to figure out what’s really most important to you – what your wants, needs, and non-negotiables are. That way, you won’t get caught up in the muck and will have the clarity to tackle negotiations in a more peaceful and constructive manner.

When you focus on what’s most important, like your kids and your future, instead of fighting over small things like who gets the toaster, you’ll improve your chances of divorcing amicably and getting an agreement you find fair and equitable.

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They negotiated the terms of their divorce in good faith

In a good faith negotiation, you and your spouse agree to put “all your cards on the table.” Openly disclosing all assets, debts, income, etc. in order to paint a complete picture of your finances, and the issues that need to be discussed and resolved.

It’s quite common for divorcing spouses to already not trust each other. So if you or your spouse were to knowingly withhold important information during your negotiations, only to have it discovered at a future point in time, any trust that was left between you will evaporate, and your divorce will take an ugly turn.

A good faith negotiation builds trust. When you and your soon to be ex commit to full disclosure, you not only level the playing field, but create an environment of mutual respect.

And it’s this respect that becomes a valuable tool in reaching a fair agreement that you can both feel good about.

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They placed the needs of their children first

If you’re a parent, you know just how important it is to put the needs of your kids first. But once your divorce gets underway, the hurt and anger between you and your spouse, can sometimes cloud your judgement. In order to have an amicable divorce, you can’t let your feelings towards “the other parent” get in the way of negotiating a parenting plan and child support agreement that’s in the best interests of your kids.

Mediation is the most child-focused of all the divorce options. Allowing you to make the decisions throughout your divorce or separation that are in your children’s best interests. How is that?

When as a couple, you and your spouse choose to work with a divorce mediator you’re saying:

“We’re putting our children’s needs first. We want to decide together what’s best for them as parents. Not against each other as litigants.”

“We want to make sure to design a parenting plan that has each of us as actively involved in their lives and has as much parenting time with them as possible.”

“We want to work together to resolve child support and make sure they don’t become the economic victims of our divorce.”

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They worked through the terms of their divorce settlement in an environment of mutual respect and dignity – out of court – using divorce mediation

The best way to have an amicable separation or divorce is to choose to mediate without involving lawyers. By its very nature, divorce can get heated. So don’t hire family law attorneys and turn your divorce into an all-out war in court.

Instead, work with one highly skilled divorce mediator who will help you develop peaceful divorce solutions that benefit both of you and your children.

Unlike contentious divorce litigation or even a collaborative divorce process, there is no confrontational “us versus them” mentality. Divorce mediation is based on respectful dialog and mutually-agreeable problem-solving so you can both move forward peacefully instead of prolonging the fighting. Which, if you’ll be spending time as co-parents, will be especially important to do.

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Not divorcing amicably will really cost you in legal fees!

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If you’re considering hiring a divorce lawyer remember, costs can be substantial. Opting for a civil divorce might seem less dramatic, but it’s worth it. Divorce lawyers are costly. Expenses can quickly escalate to tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, potentially forcing you to liquidate savings, take out loans, or use money from your children’s college funds.

Beyond the financial burden, a lawyer-driven divorce can take an emotional toll, leading to prolonged conflict and stress for many couples.

A peaceful divorce is more economical. Choosing a peaceful path forward can save you both money and emotional distress.

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Preparing for an amicable divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_imageframe image_id=”576|full” aspect_ratio=”” custom_aspect_ratio=”100″ aspect_ratio_position=”” skip_lazy_load=”” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” max_width=”” sticky_max_width=”” align_medium=”none” align_small=”none” align=”none” mask=”” custom_mask=”” mask_size=”” mask_custom_size=”” mask_position=”” mask_custom_position=”” mask_repeat=”” style_type=”” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_type=”none” magnify_full_img=”” magnify_duration=”120″ scroll_height=”100″ scroll_speed=”1″ margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”10px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” bordersize=”” bordercolor=”” borderradius=”” z_index=”” caption_style=”off” caption_align_medium=”none” caption_align_small=”none” caption_align=”none” caption_title=”” caption_text=”” caption_title_tag=”2″ fusion_font_family_caption_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_title_font=”” caption_title_size=”” caption_title_line_height=”” caption_title_letter_spacing=”” caption_title_transform=”” caption_title_color=”” caption_background_color=”” fusion_font_family_caption_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_text_font=”” caption_text_size=”” caption_text_line_height=”” caption_text_letter_spacing=”” caption_text_transform=”” caption_text_color=”” caption_border_color=”” caption_overlay_color=”” caption_margin_top=”” caption_margin_right=”” caption_margin_bottom=”” caption_margin_left=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ animation_offset=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://equitablemediation.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/pictogram-steps-to-preparing-for-amicable-divorce-Equitable-Mediation.webp[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Preparing for an amicable divorce requires a thoughtful and intentional approach. It doesn’t just happen. Here are 5 things you can do to help you prepare.

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Gather financial information

Having a clear picture of your financial situation will make the process smoother and help you and your spouse in negotiating a fair settlement. We have a saying here that goes “do the discovery before the deciding.” Information is power, and there’s no better decision, than an informed decision.

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Understand the divorce process

Consider taking a planning for divorce course. Knowing how divorce works will help you navigate the process more confidently and understand the issues you need to be thinking about now and in the future.

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Consider counseling or coaching

Professional help from a counselor, therapist, or divorce coach, can be incredibly beneficial. It can help you process your emotions, develop a plan for moving forward, and ensure that you’re making decisions from a place of clarity and strength.

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Identify your goals

Take some time to determine what you want to achieve in the divorce process. This includes your goals for child custody, financial support, and property division. Having clear objectives will guide your negotiations and help you stay focused on what’s most important.

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Choose a peaceful divorce method

As you’ve been learning, the decision to have an amicable divorce is a choice. Choosing to pursue an uncontested divorce using an alternative dispute resolution method like mediation, can help you reach an agreement with less arguing and stress.

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5 Negotiation tips for an amicable divorce process

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Certainly learning about, and choosing to have, an amicable divorce are great first steps. But once things get underway, effective communication and skilled negotiation, will play a significant role in determining whether or not you’ll have an amicable divorce.

When couples don’t listen to each other, spend time blaming each other, or defending their (possibly unrealistic) positions, that’s when things can go off track. Here are 5 tips to help you communicate effectively and negotiate a fair settlement once you enter the divorce process.

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Practice active listening

I know it may be difficult, and it may be the first time in years that you’ve actually done so, but listen carefully to your soon-to-be-ex spouse’s concerns and respond thoughtfully. Active listening shows respect and can help de-escalate tensions, making it easier to find common ground. You’d be surprised at how many of my clients are on the same page, but they just don’t realize it because they’re so busy waiting for their turn to speak.

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Use “I” statements

Instead of blaming your soon to be former spouse, use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, say “I feel concerned about our children’s schedule” instead of “You never stick to the schedule!” The former opens the conversation up to problem-solving, whereas the latter will only result in your spouse trying to defend themselves.

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Focus on interests, not positions

Instead of focusing on your respective positions, try to understand the underlying interests and needs that are driving each of your requests. This is what we refer to as “interest-based negotiations” and it’s a valuable skill that you should take time to learn. Your spouse, most likely, isn’t being intentionally difficult, so learn to look behind their position to open up avenues of possible agreement.

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Seek common ground

You and your spouse have probably been disagreeing for years, so looking for common ground may not come easy. But by trying to find solutions that benefit both parties, not only can it lead to a more amicable and sustainable agreement, but you actually may walk away with even more than you thought possible. This is what we mediators call “expanding the pie.”

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Negotiate your agreement using divorce mediation

A neutral mediator can facilitate difficult discussions between you and your spouse, help you understand each other’s perspectives, and guide you toward a mutually acceptable agreement.

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Key takeaways for an amicable divorce

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- Remember that every divorce begins with a choice. By deciding to divorce amicably, you’re choosing a path that protects both your bank account and your children’s well-being – instead of spending years in court depleting your savings and emotional reserves.
- Let go of the blame game – it’s one of the most powerful decisions you can make. While the factors leading to your divorce may be complex, moving forward without pointing fingers gives you the best chance at a peaceful resolution and a healthier future.
- Think of good faith negotiation as laying your cards on the table. When both you and your spouse commit to full financial disclosure and honest communication, you create an environment of trust that makes reaching a fair agreement so much more achievable.
- Consider mediation your path to peace. Working with a skilled mediator instead of opposing attorneys helps you and your spouse focus on solutions rather than conflict, leading to agreements that truly work for both of you and your children.
- Practice the art of listening – really listening – to your spouse during negotiations. Using “I feel” statements instead of accusations can, with the guidance of an experienced mediator, transform tense conversations into productive discussions where both of you feel heard and understood.
- Set yourself up for success by doing your homework. Gathering financial information, understanding the divorce process, and getting emotional support aren’t just practical steps – they’re investments in a smoother, more peaceful journey.
- Think of your divorce approach as writing the first chapter of your co-parenting story. The tone you set now will influence your family dynamics for years to come, so choosing an amicable path creates a foundation for positive future relationships.
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Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

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Frequently Asked Questions

[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” inactive_icon=”” active_icon=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ id=”” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_color=”#f4f3ef” background_color=”” divider_line=”” divider_hover_color=”” divider_color=”” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”16px” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” parent_dynamic_content=””][fusion_toggle title=”How Does Divorce Mediation Work?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What issues can mediation resolve?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do mediation sessions take place?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

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There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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January 30, 2026
Mediator or Lawyer? How to Choose the Option Right for You
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Get our Free eBook!

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The decision to get a divorce is a very difficult one no matter where you live or what the circumstances. But while you may think the decision itself is the hardest part of the divorce process, the choice of using divorce mediation vs divorce lawyers can be an even more challenging one if you don’t know the differences between the two.

With a little education, you can make the decision that’s right for you in your situation.

It will take you less than 15 minutes to read this informative Free eBook.

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What you’ll learn:

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- Discover the costs and timeline differences between these options, helping you make a financially informed decision for your situation;
- Learn how each approach impacts your relationship with your ex-spouse and your ability to co-parent effectively in the future;
- Find out the key factors to consider when deciding between mediation and lawyers, including control over decisions, emotional stress, and likelihood of reaching a satisfying agreement.
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Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

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Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

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Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

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Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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June 9, 2025
The Essential Guide to Divorce Mediation Course: Your Path to an Amicable Split
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sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” html_attributes=”W10=” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ 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FREE Video Mini-Course

[/fusion_title][fusion_text content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” margin_top=”12px” margin_bottom=”25px” font_size=”16px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]

Learn how divorce mediation works, and how it can help keep your divorce peaceful, productive, and child-focused.

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border_position=”all” first=”true” min_height=”” link=””][fusion_button link=”/resources/course/guide-to-divorce-mediation/#form-now” enable_hover_text_icon=”no” title=”Get it Now” target=”_self” aria_role_button=”0″ alignment_small=”left” alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”btn-style” color=”custom” button_gradient_top_color_hover=”var(–awb-color7)” button_gradient_top_color=”var(–awb-custom_color_2)” button_gradient_bottom_color_hover=”var(–awb-color7)” button_gradient_bottom_color=”var(–awb-color7)” linear_angle=”180″ accent_hover_color=”var(–awb-color5)” accent_color=”var(–awb-color4)” border_top=”2px” border_right=”2px” border_bottom=”2px” border_left=”2px” border_radius_top_left=”30px” border_radius_top_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_right=”30px” border_radius_bottom_left=”30px” border_hover_color=”var(–awb-color7)” border_color=”var(–awb-color7)” size=”large” 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OUTLINE

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What you’ll learn:

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Lesson 1

[/fusion_title][fusion_text content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” font_size=”16px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]
- Why the method you choose for your divorce is critically important;
- What divorce mediation is;
- The role of the mediator;
- General cost ranges;
- How long the mediation process takes;
- What differentiates a basic mediator from a highly skilled expert.
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Lesson 2

[/fusion_title][fusion_text content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” font_size=”16px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]
- How the mediation process works;
- Mediation benefits;
- What makes divorce mediation different from other divorce options;
- What to expect from the mediation process.
[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”DM Serif Display” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”400″ font_size=”24px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]

Lesson 3

[/fusion_title][fusion_text content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” font_size=”16px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]
- How to determine if mediation is a viable divorce method for your situation.
[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ title_link=”off” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”DM Serif Display” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”400″ font_size=”24px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_overflow=”none” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0″]

Lesson 4

[/fusion_title][fusion_text content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” margin_bottom=”0px” font_size=”16px” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]
- Is a lawyer is required for divorce?
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Discover if mediation is right for your divorce or separation.

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margin_top=”22px” margin_bottom=”0px” icon_position=”left” icon_divider=”no” hover_transition=”none” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″]Start Learning Now[/fusion_button][/fusion_builder_column_inner][/fusion_builder_row_inner][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container type=”flex” hundred_percent=”no” hundred_percent_height=”no” hundred_percent_height_scroll=”no” align_content=”stretch” flex_align_items=”flex-start” flex_justify_content=”flex-start” flex_wrap=”wrap” hundred_percent_height_center_content=”yes” equal_height_columns=”no” container_tag=”div” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” status=”published” padding_top=”50px” padding_bottom=”50px” border_style=”solid” box_shadow=”no” box_shadow_blur=”0″ box_shadow_spread=”0″ gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” 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Meet your instructor:

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Joe Dillon, MBA

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Divorce Mediator & Negotiation Expert | Founder of Equitable Mediation

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Joe earned a master’s degree in finance and completed specialized training in negotiation and mediation at some of the world’s most prestigious institutions, including Harvard University, MIT, Northwestern University, The New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators, The Academy of Professional Family Mediators, and The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis.

As a child of divorce, he knows firsthand the damage attorney-driven litigation inflicts on families. In 2008, he founded Equitable Mediation Services with his partner and wife, Cheryl, to offer a more peaceful and dignified alternative.

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations. Throughout his professional career, he has helped over a thousand couples peacefully reach a fair and equitable divorce agreement – out of court.

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

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Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

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There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

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After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

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Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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June 9, 2025
Divorce Mediation vs. Lawyer: Cost Comparison and Decision Guide for Divorcing Couples
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The decision to get a divorce is a very difficult one no matter where you live or what the circumstances.

But while some may think the decision itself is the hardest part of the divorce process, the choice of using divorce mediation vs a lawyer can be an even more challenging one if you don’t know the differences between the two.

With a little education, you can make the decision that’s right for you in your situation.

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Divorce mediator vs lawyer

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Before we cover some of the key differences in between using a divorce mediator vs attorney, here’s a high-level overview of how each of these divorce options work:

What is a lawyer’s role?

A lawyer’s role is to advocate for the one party that hired them with the goal of achieving the most favorable outcome for their one client. A lawyer can only represent one party.

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Traditional divorce litigation:

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There are many steps involved in a litigated divorce with lawyers and the steps vary from state-to-state, county-to county and couple-to-couple.

But at a very high level, in a standard lawyer divorce, each divorcing spouse hires their own lawyer to help them complete the steps required for divorce, and to advocate for their legal rights on their behalf.

The two lawyers will enter into negotiations on behalf of their clients regarding the issues.

For the sole purpose of describing a lawyer-driven divorce as simplistically as possible, I’m going to use a fictitious couple where Jen is the wife and Mike is the husband.

We are assuming that Jen and Mike are being reasonable and that each lawyer is being reasonable, though it is common for an attorney-driven divorce to escalate into something less cooperative.

So, here’s how it begins:
- Jen’s lawyer files paperwork with the court requesting a divorce on behalf of her client.
- Mike is then notified usually by mail, but it sometimes happens in person, that Jen wants a divorce.
- Each spouse meets with their divorce lawyer to identify the relevant issues to their case and provide them with a high-level overview of what it is they’re looking to get in the divorce.
- In parallel, each spouse’s lawyer also requests personal and financial information related to the case from the other side.
- At this point, Jen’s lawyer will give her advice on what they think Jen should ask for, and what the terms of the divorce settlement might be if decided by a judge.
- Jen may or may not agree with her lawyer’s advice because remember – ultimately, it’s up to Jen to decide what it is she wants to do.
- Jen tells her lawyer what she wants the settlement to look like regarding property and asset division, parenting and time sharing, child support, and alimony, as well as other conditions of the divorce.
- Jen’s lawyer sends a letter to Mike’s lawyer outlining Jen’s proposed settlement terms.
- Mike’s lawyer discusses the proposed terms with Mike. Mike’s lawyer gives Mike advice on what he thinks he should take, not agree to, agree to. Mike may or may not agree with his lawyer’s advice.
- Mike decides whether or not he agrees with any/or all of the proposed terms.
- The spouses’ lawyers then go back and forth until all terms are agreed to by both sides. This can take weeks, months, or even years, depending on how cooperative or difficult the spouses – and their lawyers – want to be throughout the legal proceedings.
Once both spouses agree, Jen’s lawyer then goes ahead and drafts the settlement agreement, files more paperwork with the courts, and requests a court date and final hearing.

If agreement cannot be reached on one or more of the issues using this approach, the divorce will carry on through the family court system.

A court date will be set. And each divorce attorney along with the party that hired them will prepare their case. In contested divorces, documents will be presented to the court throughout the divorce trial. Arguments will be made regarding the merits of positions. Witnesses or outside experts will be brought in to court to testify. The couple’s children may even be called to the stand during litigation.

All of this transpires in court in front of a family law judge who will ultimately decide the outcome regarding parenting time, child custody, child support, alimony and division of marital assets and debts. These are what is known as contested divorces.

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Divorce mediation process: What is a mediator and what is the mediator’s role?

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Divorce mediation is a dynamic alternative dispute resolution process. And a divorce mediator acts as an independent, neutral third-party who conducts mediation proceedings.

Mediators help parties involved in a conflict or dispute come to a mutual agreement.

For a divorcing couple, the divorce itself is the dispute and the mediator’s role is to help both spouses identify, negotiate and come to mutually-acceptable agreement on the various issues and financial matters required for divorce. In a mediation session, the divorce mediator actively participates in the negotiations, but the two spouses have full control over the divorce agreement and decisions they will be making.

There are a number of skills a divorce mediator must possess in order to make them highly-skilled.

First, a highly-skilled mediator must have extensive knowledge on a wide variety of topics ranging from parenting and time sharing, child support, alimony, and the distribution of martial property and debts. And do so specifically for the state in which a couple lives – or is filing for divorce.

But just knowing about these topics isn’t enough to be a highly-skilled mediator! A mediator also needs to be able to use that knowledge to facilitate, and actively engage a couple in, a series of discussions surrounding the necessary issues to be resolved in their divorce.

The mediator must not only listen to each spouse’s wants, needs, concerns, and goals, but help formulate ideas, bring options to the table, and work with them to develop fair and equitable solutions which are in both their best interests.

The ultimate goal of the mediator is to help couples come to mutually acceptable agreements – on all of the required issues – to peacefully end their marriage out of court.

Now, if they don’t agree on a particular topic, a highly skilled mediator will have – and use – a variety of advanced conflict resolution techniques to help them communicate, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate the areas of disagreement.

Once the mediator has assisted the divorcing couple in reaching all necessary agreements, they now need to be able to expertly draft those agreements into a comprehensive memorandum of understanding. As well as prepare a host of other supporting paperwork.

Since by its very nature, divorce is a conflict between two people, guiding a divorcing couple to mutually beneficial agreement is not as easy as one might think!

But ultimately, divorce mediation helps couples avoid the trauma and emotional stress that often results from more contentious divorce methods.

Finally, it’s important to note that while some mediators meet with clients in-person, others practice divorce mediation online, delivering mediation services to clients via telephone and screen-sharing software or video conferencing software. This type of mediation should not be confused with an Internet (or online) divorce, because they are two different things.

Online mediation is actual divorce mediation, but simply conducted in an online format.

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Is a mediator a lawyer?

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Mediation is a skillset unto itself and is also an unregulated field. So a mediator can be a family law attorney or a non-attorney (financial professional, mental health professional, etc.).

It is common for a divorce attorney or retired judge to feel that attending law school provides them the skills they need in order to practice mediation, so you will find that there are a number of divorce mediation attorneys out there. But while they may have a grasp of divorce law, they may or may not know how to be an effective, neutral mediator. Lawyers also may not have the financial acumen required to negotiate agreements on the many complex fiscal matters surrounding divorce.

The best mediators have been professionally trained in mediation, are fully neutral, know the divorce issues, and are also experts in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding the divorce.

There is no requirement that a mediator be a lawyer and in fact, some of the most qualified mediators aren’t lawyers at all.

Additionally, when a couple uses divorce mediation, lawyers are not also required at any point in their uncontested divorce unless either/both spouses choose to involve them.

That makes mediating a good option for those who wish to resolve divorce issues without lawyers, without court and without litigation.

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Collaborative divorce:

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The collaborative law process (also referred to as collaborative divorce, collaborative process or collaborative divorce process) is an alternative dispute resolution method that is a cross between lawyer-driven divorce litigation and divorce mediation.

To learn more about the differences between these two divorce methods, read collaborative divorce process vs mediation process.

To learn more about how each of these three divorce options work, read: The 5 divorce options and how to choose the right one for you.

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Differences between using a divorce mediator vs lawyer for a divorce:

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Number of professionals
- In divorce mediation, there is 1 mediator vs. 2 lawyers for divorce (one lawyer per spouse.)
Premise
- A lawyer can only represent one spouse and their job is to advocate for their one client.
- A mediator is a neutral third party and doesn’t take sides – in divorce mediation, they help both spouses negotiate and reach an agreement best for them and their children.
Approach
- Lawyers give legal advice and advise their clients on what to do.
- Mediators do not dispense legal advice. Instead, the divorcing couple has full control over making their own decisions.
Time to Completion
- A lawyer-driven divorce can take 18 months to 3 years to complete.
- A mediated divorce can take 3 to 6 months to complete (2 to 5 mediation sessions) and the speed of the process is in large part directed by the spouses.
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Once mediation is completed, the speed of the divorce process is related to the time it takes to file and complete the divorce through the courts.

Cost
- According to FindLaw, the median cost of a divorce lawyer is $10,000+ per spouse. Which means the average cost of a traditional lawyer-driven divorce starts at $20,000 per couple.
- While the cost of a lawyer-led collaborative divorce can range from $25,000 to $50,000 per couple.
- And if a divorce goes to trial, it can range from $78,000 to $200,000 per couple.
- The total cost of a mediated divorce can range from $6,000 to $10,000 and depends on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of services they include, a couple’s specific case complexities and conflict level, and the state where the divorce is taking place.
Certainty of outcome
- A lawyer-driven litigated divorce is risky because there are no guarantees as to which side of any issue a judge is going to rule in court. Some lawyers use strategies to confuse, manipulate or outsmart their opposition. Every lawyer has their own style and personality. Some family law attorneys can be hostile and deceptive; others can be irrational.
So if you hire a divorce lawyer who is unreasonable or incompetent, you could find yourself with an unfavorable case outcome. And if your court case ever goes to trial and the judge makes their decision, you could find that you’re not satisfied with the ruling in your divorce matter.
- In private mediation, since both spouses have a direct say in outlining the terms of their agreement, dispute resolution outcomes are certain with respect to the couple’s parenting plan arrangement, child custody and child support, spousal support, property division and all other issues that must be resolved in their divorce.
Peaceful
- A lawyer-driven divorce, especially litigation, is an adversarial process and not peaceful in any way.
- The divorce mediation process is non-adversarial and cooperative so mediation is more peaceful.
Confidentiality
- A divorce litigation is a matter of public record.
- Mediation is a private process and its contents confidential.
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Mediation vs divorce lawyer: Which should you choose?

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Here are some good reasons to choose mediation vs lawyers for divorce.

1. You want what’s best for your children.

Far and away, this is first on the list of the many benefits of divorce mediation. As a parent, you already know that divorce is tough on you.

But it’s even tougher on your kids.

So by discussing the issues as parents, instead of litigants in some drawn out court battle, you can outline the terms of your settlement agreement including time sharing and child support so that they are focused on what’s truly best for your children.

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2. You want to keep things peaceful.

Even happily married couples argue occasionally, so it’s no surprise that divorcing spouses fight. But you don’t need to agree on everything or be the best of friends in order to mediate.

If you and your soon-to-be ex are both willing to attend mediation, you can have a successful family mediation. And you can more peacefully divorce and preserve your emotional well being.

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3. You want to save money.

Retainers range from $5,000 to $10,000 per person. So if you work with lawyers, right off the bat you’re looking at spending a minimum of $10,000 to $20,000 on legal fees for your divorce case. And everyone knows that’s just the beginning. The cost of divorce only goes up from there, especially in contentious cases where there’s disagreement on any of the issues.

But if you use mediation, you can save thousands on your divorce.

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4. You don’t want your divorce proceedings to drag on forever.

When you look at the choice of a divorce mediator vs attorney, mediated divorces take significantly less time. Divorces that are handled by attorneys take longer, in part, because of the back and forth nature of communications that happen between opposing counsel.

Instead of waiting to talk to your lawyer about a topic of disagreement and then waiting for your lawyer to write a letter to the other side and then waiting for a response, in mediation, all communications take place in real time so any disagreements can be discussed and resolved right then and there.

If you want to complete your divorce in a lot less time, mediation is the way to go.

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5. You want a high level of control over your divorce agreement.

Mediation allows you and your husband or wife to discuss and resolve all issues that pertain to your particular situation. And your agreement can also be customized to your specific needs.

The two of you will be fully empowered to make educated decisions that are right for you. And your divorce settlement will be fair to both of you because you’ll both have direct input into crafting its terms and conditions.

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Use a divorce lawyer vs mediator when:

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1. Your spouse is incapacitated.

Mediation is all about “self-determination” and the parties’ abilities to make decisions that are in their own best self-interests.

But what if you have doubts about your spouse’s ability to do that?

Perhaps they’re an addict or are living with a neurological condition such as Alzheimer’s disease. Or for some other reason, they do not have the ability to make sound decisions.

If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, they’ll need an advocate and should get a family law attorney.

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2. You fear for your safety or there’s domestic violence.

If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible.

Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that you are afraid to express your true needs for fear of retribution from the other side.

Your safety should be your number one concern, so if you are afraid for your safety, you’ll want to get an attorney instead of using mediation.

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3. You have reason to believe your spouse is hiding assets.

Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency.

So if you have evidence that your husband or wife is hiding assets or debts from you, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, choose a lawyer vs a mediator.

Lawyers can file motions with the courts to compel your spouse to surrender the necessary documentation needed to see if, in fact, there is an issue.

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4. Your spouse is unwilling to mediate.

Because mediation is a voluntary process, both of you must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation by both spouses is one of the requirements to make mediation work.

If you want to mediate but your spouse refuses to cooperate, in cases of contested divorces, you’ll need to find another divorce method.

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Divorce mediator vs attorney for divorce?

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As you can see, the question of whether to use a lawyer vs mediator is one that solely depends on your unique situation. But if you want to divorce amicably and do what’s best for your children while saving money and time in the process, and your spouse is willing to do the same, get a mediator vs divorce lawyer.

You’ll be glad you did!

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Frequently Asked Questions

[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” inactive_icon=”” active_icon=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ id=”” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_color=”#f4f3ef” background_color=”” divider_line=”” divider_hover_color=”” divider_color=”” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”16px” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” parent_dynamic_content=””][fusion_toggle title=”How Does Divorce Mediation Work?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

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Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

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Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

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There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

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Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

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You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

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After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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June 3, 2025
How to Choose the Right Divorce Mediator: 5 Critical Questions to Ask Before Hiring
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- The mediator you hire to guide you through the divorce process is just as important as the decision to use mediation itself.
- Hiring the best and most competent divorce mediation specialists will make all the difference in how peaceful your divorce will be and what it will cost. And how fair, thorough and child-focused your agreement will be.
- In this post, I will share the criteria to use when evaluating the qualifications of a mediator. And how to determine if the person you’re considering is best-qualified and has the expertise to help you.
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You want a divorce. And you want to mediate. Which is more than I knew when my ex-spouse and I made the decision to end our marriage. We hadn’t ever heard of mediation. All we knew is we wanted to get an uncontested divorce without lawyers and respectfully resolve our issues out of court. And we didn’t want to go broke in the process.

A friend told me about mediation and I found a divorce mediator near me. And luckily, my mediated divorce case went quite smoothly. My now ex-husband and I completed the process in a few months and our entire divorce cost less than we would have spent on the attorney retainers alone.

But as you probably already know, making the decision to use mediation is only a small part of getting a divorce. You also need to figure out how to find a mediator for divorce who is competent and qualified. Because the mediator you hire to guide you through the divorce process is just as important as the decision to use mediation itself.

So what are the criteria to use when evaluating the qualifications of a mediator? And what do you need to know about how to find a good divorce mediator and determine if the person you’re considering is competent and best qualified to help you and your spouse? Luckily you’ve come to the right place because those questions and more will be answered in this post.

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How to find a good divorce mediator:

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Other than the decision to divorce itself, there is no single more important decision than choosing a divorce mediator qualified to handle your divorce.

The mediator you choose will play a critical role in:
- How well your divorce goes from both a financial and emotional standpoint;
- How thorough your agreement is;
- How likely you and your spouse will need to return to court in the future;
- How fair and equitable your settlement will be.
So instead of simply asking, “How do I find divorce mediators near me?” – seek out the best mediator to help you.

Because doing so will make all the difference in how peaceful and cost-effective your divorce will be. And how fair, thorough and child-focused it will be.

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There are 5 steps for how to find a mediator for divorce:

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Step 1: Learn good mediator qualifications and questions to ask a mediator.

Step 2: Identify a few mediators who practice in your state.

Step 3: Do some research and create a short-list of divorce mediators to consider.

Step 4: Schedule an initial meeting with the mediator(s).

Step 5: Choose the divorce mediator best qualified to help you.

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Step 1: Learn good mediator qualifications and questions to ask a divorce mediator

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The first step in how to find a mediator for divorce is to know the criteria for what makes a mediator good. This way, you’ll know what to look for when choosing your divorce mediator.

Mediation is an unregulated practice area in most states.

That means, anyone (and I mean anyone), can build a website, print out business cards and call themself a divorce mediator. There is no formally recognized national certification for mediators.

Some alternative dispute resolution organizations create their own mediator certification, enabling their members to include titles like, “certified mediator,” “professional mediator,” “accredited professional mediator,” etc. after their name. But there is no consistency from organization-to-organization and these titles alone do not necessarily indicate one mediator is better qualified or more experienced than another.

Things to find out about a mediator regarding their qualifications include:

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What training has the divorce mediator had?

A basic training course for divorce mediation is 40 hours. And some mediators don’t have any training at all.

In addition to knowing about the issues surrounding divorce, a mediator also needs to know how to mediate.

Mediation is a skillset unto itself!

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Mediation services providers also have many different backgrounds.

Lawyers:

Some divorce attorneys think that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while divorce lawyers may have a grasp of family law, they may not know how to be an effective mediator.

A divorce attorney dispenses legal advice and is trained to “fight and win.” So they may not know how to resolve conflict or be a truly neutral third party – which is the cornerstone of mediation.

A lawyer also may not have the acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding divorce.

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Retired judges:

A recent trend is retired court judges marketing themselves as mediators for divorce. And while they have experience ruling in a litigated divorce after listening to the parties pleading their case, that’s the exact opposite of what’s required for mediation.

A competent mediator doesn’t dictate a couple’s divorce terms. Instead, they help the two spouses negotiate so they can create their own mutually-agreeable solutions.

But just like a mediation attorney, a former judge isn’t going to have the necessary skills to resolve the financial matters surrounding divorce.

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Social workers / therapists:

A social worker or therapist may have taken a divorce mediation training class to understand basic mediation techniques, and may be equipped to help create a parenting plan or resolve child custody disputes to preserve the family unit.

But a mental health professional does not often possess in-depth knowledge of the other divorce issues or have the financial expertise required to be a competent mediator.

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Non-attorney mediators with a financial acumen:

There are also non-attorney mediators with a financial background, like our company founder and expert mediator, Joe Dillon.

The key is to know how to find a family mediator who has been professionally trained, is knowledgeable in all of the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral and is also skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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How long has the mediator been practicing?

While all mediators have to start somewhere, make sure the mediator you hire has the experience to handle the complexities of your specific situation.

If you’ve been married only a few years, have no children, joint property, or assets and alimony isn’t applicable, a new or less experienced mediator may be fine.

But if your case is more complex, you’ll need someone more experienced and highly skilled to ensure your divorce settlement agreement is fair, thorough, and will stand the test of time.

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Is divorce and family mediation their full-time profession?

You may encounter mediators who also have a primary “day job” such as social worker, accountant, or divorce attorney (litigator). But if the mediator you’re considering only practices mediation as a secondary job and isn’t mediating full-time, it means they probably don’t mediate more than just a few cases each year.

It also may make staying on top of the latest developments in the practice area difficult.

Make sure the mediator you choose practices mediation full-time.

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How much experience does the mediator have specifically with divorce cases?

Some mediators handle civil or business disputes. Others handle family disputes and divorce matters. Some divide their time between all types of mediation. Laws, guidelines and approaches to the way state-specific issues are addressed change constantly.

So even if they’re a full-time mediator, make sure they have sufficient experience with the issues of divorce.

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What is the mediator’s financial acumen?

Divorce is less about laws and more about money (and parenting, if you have kids). In fact, three of the four areas that need to be resolved in a divorce are directly related to money and finances: child support, property division (referred to as equitable distribution in some states and community property in others) and alimony.

So in addition to helping you create a sound parenting plan, it’s important the mediator you’re working with has a firm grasp on calculating child support and determining alimony / spousal support.

But it’s also critical they’re skilled in analyzing the complexities of investment-based assets, employee stock incentive awards, business valuations, and projected expenses and are also able to value retirement assets, bracket support scenarios, prepare a balance sheet of marital property and debts and make you aware of potential tax issues that may affect your settlement agreement.

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What does the mediator do to stay on top of the latest developments in their profession?

The issues surrounding divorce frequently change, so seek a mediator who stays on top of the latest developments and trends and is a respected authority in their profession. Find out about the mediator’s continuing education efforts and involvement in their professional community.

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What is the mediator’s case resolution rate?

What is the mediator’s rate of settlement?

A good divorce mediator should be able to successfully resolve at least 90-95% of their cases. And an expert mediator will be able to successfully resolve greater than 95% of their cases.

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Does the mediator have a proven mediation process to keep your divorce productive and efficient?

A good divorce mediator has an effective process to help keep your mediation sessions focused and on track. They also leverage technology including secure online file sharing, screen sharing and collaboration tools to keep communications efficient and transparent.

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What is the mediator’s style, philosophy and approach to mediation sessions?

A mediator’s style and approach will vary significantly.

Some mediators are facilitative and take more of a back-seat approach, relying on the parties (the two spouses) to direct the proceedings. Some mediators are evaluative and tend to tell the parties what to do without much regard for their input.

Other mediators take a more structured, active approach to the way the mediation is conducted. These mediators are more likely to present options, but empower the parties (the two spouses) to decide.

The style or styles a mediator uses may also depend a great deal on their professional background. For example, judges who become mediators tend to be more evaluative while mental health professionals tend to be more facilitative.

The best mediators are skilled in employing a variety of styles. They know how to apply the right style at the right time in a mediation session based on a couple’s unique interpersonal dynamic.

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Step 2: Identify a few professionals who practice divorce mediation in your state

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Now that you know the criteria to use when evaluating a divorce mediator, the next step in how to find a good family mediator is to identify a few who practice in your state.

If you’ve been seeing an individual or couples counselor, or you have family or friends who used mediation for their divorce, they may be able to give you the names of some mediators near you. This is a good place to start, especially if you know, trust and value the opinion of the person making the referral or recommendation.

Finding a mediator on the internet is another option.

You can either do a Google search for “divorce mediator near me” or “divorce mediation NJ,” “divorce mediation Chicago,” or whichever state or city you live in. There are also a number of directory websites available that list divorce mediators by city, state or county.

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Step 3: Research the divorce mediators and create a short list

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Once you’ve found the names of a few mediators who practice in your state, you can click around on their websites to dig deeper and learn more about them. Since no two divorces are the same, you’ll want to find divorce mediators who possess the skills and expertise to help you resolve all of the issues relevant to your situation.

For example, if you and your spouse are divorcing after 20 years of marriage, own a home, are self-employed and/or are divorcing with a business involved, have retirement accounts or lots of debt, you’ll want a mediator with a financial background.

Or, if you and your divorcing spouse are a high conflict divorcing couple and are having a difficult time communicating, you may want a mediator who includes coaching.

See if there is information on their websites that address the criteria outlined in Step 1.

Remember, there’s a big difference between finding just any mediator and choosing a good divorce mediator who is a highly skilled expert.

Your goal is to narrow down the list of prospective mediators to a short list of two or three.

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Step 4: Schedule an initial meeting with each mediator

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After you’ve compiled a short-list, the next step in how to find a good divorce mediator is to schedule an initial meeting with each of them. Some mediators conduct their initial meetings in-person, some conduct them by telephone and some conduct initial meetings via videoconferencing software such as Zoom or Google Meet.

Some charge a fee for their initial meeting and some do not.

It varies from mediator to mediator.

A good divorce mediator isn’t necessarily the one who has an office closest to your home.

During your initial meeting, seek answers to any remaining open questions about the mediator’s qualifications along with information on the mediator’s services, fees, approach, and case resolution rate.

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What is the scope of services provided by the divorce mediator?

Find out what’s included and what’s not included in the divorce mediation service and whether or not the mediator has a proven process to keep things efficient and on-track.

Find out if the mediator will provide you with a comprehensive agreement or if you will need to pay an attorney to draft (or re-draft) your agreements at the end of the mediation process.

Inquire about the mediator’s use of technology and find out if he/she effectively leverages it to make the process as efficient as possible including the ability to mediate online?

Ask if the mediator offers any services like coaching to support you with the emotional aspects of divorce.

If other specialists need to be involved at any point in your divorce such as an accountant, mortgage professional or real estate agent, find out if the mediator has a network of trusted professionals to whom they can refer you.

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What are the mediator’s fees?

Divorce mediation fees vary significantly based on the state you live in, the mediation experience and skill level of the mediator, the different services they offer and individual case complexities.

Some mediators require payment after each mediation session and will then charge a separate fee for drafting of the Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which outlines all of the terms of your settlement agreement. Others require an initial retainer and will then bill you by the hour after that. There are even a few mediators (like us) who offer flat-fee pricing for their services so you’ll know up front what your divorce mediation will cost.

And keep in mind, while seasoned mediators may have higher hourly rates, their expertise often leads to more efficient resolutions, potentially reducing the overall time and cost of your divorce proceedings.

It’s common to want to compare the fees of various family law mediators, but it’s also important to recognize that it may be difficult to compare apples to apples based on the various factors described above.

You will always find someone cheaper, but the bottom line is if you choose your mediator solely on their price, you may wind up sacrificing the quality of your agreement.

And this may cause you to have to spend more money and time at the end of the process or in the future whether it be to re-draft paperwork or correct mistakes or omissions.

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Is the mediator compassionate?

The best divorce mediators are fully invested in you and your success. Does the mediator show empathy for the human side of divorce? Do you feel like they are genuinely concerned about your financial and emotional well-being and the well-being of your children?

It’s most important to hire a mediator with the expertise and skills to help you resolve the issues in your divorce, but you also need to feel comfortable working with this person. If you have a good rapport with the mediator during the first meeting, it’s a good sign that you’ll enjoy working with him/her.

Trust your gut.

If for any reason you are uncomfortable with a mediator, you should find another one.

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What does the divorce mediator think about involving lawyers?

While there are no laws requiring the involvement of lawyers at any time during a divorce and many couples choose to mediate because they specifically want to avoid using lawyers, a good mediator will not discourage the use of attorneys to review the agreement if either or both spouses wish to involve them.

Note: Some mediators require spouses to hire lawyers during or after mediation, so it’s important to ask a prospective mediator this question before you hire them.

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Step 5: Choose and hire the best divorce mediator for your situation

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Once you’ve had initial meetings with your short list of prospective mediators, it’s time for the final step in how to find a good divorce mediator – make your final decision and choose your professional.

Think about each initial meeting:
- Did you get an overview of the mediator’s professional background and training?
- Did they clearly explain their divorce mediation process to you?
- Did the mediator get to know a bit about your situation and tell you if you are a good fit for mediation (and them)?
- Did they share with you their case resolution rate?
- Were they upfront about mediation costs and how their fee structure works?
- Did they outline their scope of services so you know exactly what they help/do not help with?
- And most importantly, were they compassionate and did you feel comfortable with them?
All of these things can go a long way towards helping you and your spouse peacefully come to an agreement that is fair to both of you and that puts your children first.

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Taking the time to learn how to find a good mediator and then finding one requires time and effort, but it’s worth it!

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So there you have it! You now know how to find a family mediator for divorce and:
- That other than the decision to divorce itself, there is no single more important decision than choosing a good mediator to handle your divorce;
- That your success in mediation lies squarely on the experience and competency of your mediator;
- That if you want a high quality mediation that’s peaceful, economical, and results in an agreement that is fair, thorough and in the best interests of your children, it’s crucial you choose your mediator based on their knowledge, experience and ability to help you in your unique situation.
Lucky for you because you’ve just found the best mediator to guide you through your divorce. His name is Joe Dillon and he’s the founder of Equitable Mediation Services.

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What makes Joe Dillon an expert mediator?

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Joe is a professionally trained and experienced mediator for divorce. And in addition to his formal mediation training and extensive knowledge of each divorce issue, he earned an MBA in finance and is skilled in resolving even the most complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

Joe has been mediating in some capacity for more than 25 years and has the skills and experience to handle even the most complex of situations.

Joe mediates full-time and specializes solely in divorce mediation in order to devote the necessary time and attention required to be the best divorce mediator he can be. He is also a well-respected authority in the mediation community.

In addition to maintaining professional memberships with the Southern California Mediation Association (SCMA), the Academy of Professional Family Mediators, the Washington Mediation Association, the Chicago, Illinois chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators, and the NY State Council on Divorce Mediation, he is a former adjunct instructor for Northwestern University’s and the New Jersey Association for Professional Mediators (NJAPM) 40-hour divorce mediation training courses.

Joe takes an active approach to mediation because he finds that this approach best guides couples to a mutually agreeable settlement in a timely and cost-effective manner and keeps them out of financially ruinous and emotionally devastating litigation. He’s compassionate and genuinely concerned about the well-being of his clients and their children. And it shows in the way he approaches mediation.

For every year Equitable Mediation has been in practice, Joe’s case resolution rate has consistently been greater than 98%. Which means that these clients resolved all of their issues and reached mutually-agreeable settlements – privately in mediation with Joe’s help, instead of in a courtroom.

And so can you!

Choosing a mediator to handle your divorce is a very personal matter. And there are a lot of things to consider when deciding who to hire.

If you want a competent and highly skilled mediator to guide you through your divorce, don’t settle by simply wondering, “Should I find any family mediator near me?” Instead, seek out and choose to work with Joe Dillon and Equitable Mediation.

Working with Equitable Mediation is the best decision you can make if you are going to mediate your divorce.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful
divorce

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April 30, 2025
9 Proven Divorce Mediation Tips and Tricks That Lead to Better Settlements
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The divorce process can be an extremely stressful experience for you and your family. Even under the best of circumstances, it can leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Choosing mediation is a great first step towards making your no-fault divorce go as smoothly as possible.

But here are a few additional divorce mediation tips and, towards the bottom of the post, a divorce mediation checklist, to ensure your case stays on track and out of court.

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9 Divorce mediation tips and tricks:

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Tip #1: Hire a competent divorce mediator.

Not only do you need to make the decision to mediate, but you also have to decide which mediator or divorce mediation team you’re going to entrust to guide you through the process.

Maybe you think all divorce mediators are the same and it doesn’t matter who you work with, so you’ll just pick whoever is listed first in the directory or has the lowest hourly fee. But mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, so you’ll need to be careful not to trust your divorce to just any mediators. The complex issues you will need to resolve requires expertise that only comes with training, certifications, continuing education and years of experience in the field.

Be sure to learn how to find a good divorce mediator because choosing a highly skilled, expert mediation team is the single most important tip to follow.

Doing so will ensure your divorce case avoids litigation in court and is as peaceful and cost-effective as possible.

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Tip #2: Be interested in, comfortable with and ready to make your own decisions.

Some people expect mediators to give them advice. Or tell them what to do. But that isn’t what happens in divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process whereby the divorce mediator will help you identify, understand, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the issues that need to be resolved in your case (parenting plan and timesharing, child support, alimony / spousal support / spousal maintenance, division of marital property and debts and more). The mediator’s goal is to help you reach a settlement agreement you both find fair. But divorce mediators won’t give you legal advice or tell you what to do.

A mediator and a divorce attorney have very different roles and divorce mediation is very different than collaborative law (also referred to as collaborative divorce) and divorce litigation processes. All decisions made in a divorce mediation session will be made by you and will be fully within your control.

So the second of my tips for mediation is for a divorcing couple to enter into each session knowing what to expect in divorce mediation as far as the mediator’s role as well as their own.

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Tip #3: Actively participate in the divorce mediation process.

Since mediation is a voluntary process, it will not be successful if you or your spouse refuses to cooperate or actively participate. If your spouse wants to divorce you and you only agreed to mediate on the condition that they do all the work, divorce mediation just won’t be successful in your case.

In order for the divorce mediation process to be a viable option for your divorce, you must both be active participants.

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Tip #4: Be willing to compromise.

Some couples going through a divorce dig their heels in and have a “my way or the highway” mentality. But in order for any mediation session to go smoothly, you must both be willing to compromise to find the middle ground. Let me give you an example of how that would work so that both sides feel like they got something out of the deal.

Let’s say you’re at the part of your negotiations where you’re discussing the holiday timesharing plan, and your spouse says: “I want the kids for Thanksgiving every year.” Your first reaction might be: “Are you kidding me?! There’s no way I’m saying yes to that!” Do that and you look rigid and inflexible. While another reaction might be: “OK. Whatever you want, I guess.” Do that and you’ll feel like a sucker for giving in.

Neither is an ideal approach. Instead when your spouse asks to have the kids every Thanksgiving, counter their ask with an ask of your own.

For example: Your spouse says: “I want the kids for Thanksgiving every year.” You say: “OK, but in exchange, I want the kids every Christmas.” One of two things will happen. Either you’ll have a deal (what we in mediation call a win-win) or your spouse will say “no” to your ask. If they say no, then counter with: “OK, then what can you offer me in exchange for you having the kids every Thanksgiving?” Doing so will show you’re willing to consider their offer, but not simply give in.

And that’s what we in mediation call compromise.

You have to give to get so one of the best divorce mediation tips I have is to come into mediation being ready and willing to compromise during your negotiations.

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Tip #5: Take care of yourself emotionally, physically and mentally during divorce.

Divorce is one of the most traumatic events that you will likely ever experience in your life. And it can be downright impossible to fully deal with the physical, emotional and mental toll it can take on you. Operating under such an extreme level of stress often means not eating, not sleeping and living with constant worry, anxiety and negative mind chatter. This can ultimately lead to poor decision-making resulting in an unfair divorce settlement because instead of negotiating from a position of calm and strength, you’re making decisions out of anger or fear.

You can’t make life-altering decisions on topics such as your time sharing plan (child custody), support, or division of marital property and debts if you aren’t sleeping or eating. And you certainly can’t be there for your kids if you haven’t first taken care of yourself.

So don’t let yourself get too drained and exhausted to be able to think clearly and make sound decisions that are critical to your future (and that of your children).

Another of my tips for mediation is to enlist the help of a therapist or a divorce coach during this significant life event.

Doing so will help you be better equipped to get through this painful time in your life with confidence and give you the clarity you need to negotiate effectively and make good choices during (and after) your separation and divorce.

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Tip #6: Resist relying on the Internet as every state does things differently.

The Internet is not a reliable source of information when it comes to calculating alimony or child support. And while it might be tempting to search the Internet for information on how much alimony or child support you can expect to pay or receive in your settlement, resist the urge to do so.

For two reasons:

First, because the issues and the way they’re approached vary from state-to-state. It’s a big mistake to go online, find a guideline, and try and apply it to your case, especially if you don’t live in that state. I can’t tell you how many clients we get coming into our office with a paper in their hand saying, “But I like the California child support guideline, can’t we use it?” even though they live in Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Every state has it’s own set of rules and you’ve got to follow those, not just the ones you like better.

And second, when it comes to determining support, there is a very good chance those calculators you found on the Internet may not be correct. For example, when it comes to child support, in all 50 states, child support calculators aren’t formulas, but rather, guidelines that suggest a minimum of amount of child support to be paid. And there are a number of things that aren’t even included. Then there’s the alimony calculators you see out there. There are websites that list them for all 50 states. But guess what? As of this writing, only a handful of states I know of have guidelines for alimony So basically, the other guidelines could be guesses, opinions, or outright lies.

And even the states that have some sort of guidelines, they may not be applicable in all situations. Not only that, but they also can be open to interpretation and negotiation (just as with child support). There is a lot of incorrect information on the Internet, no two divorces are the same and these issues are way too complex to try to figure out yourself.

A helpful tip for a successful divorce mediation is for you and your spouse to wait for your family mediator to guide you through these topics.

This way, you and your spouse will be aware of how the issues apply to your case in your state and you can then make informed decisions for your mediation agreement that are right for your particular situation.

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Tip #7: Don’t involve friends/family in your divorce mediation.

When it comes to divorce and financial matters such as support, there’s a lot of misinformation out there. And if it doesn’t come from the Internet, it comes from friends and family. And while they may have your best interests in mind, it’s unlikely the advice they’ll give you will be based in fact or reality.

Then there’s the issue of bias. Naturally, they care about you and will want to make you feel better, so they’re going to take your side and tell you whatever you want to hear. But are you really sure you want to base your future on opinions or judgment?

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is coming into mediation firmly entrenched in your position because of something you read on the Internet or heard from family or friends. Because you’ll be convinced that your information is the right information and so you’ll go forth negotiating as if you have the truth on your side. But the problem is that this “information” came to you unverified or from an un-reputable source. So unwittingly, you will have handed over your financial future to an unqualified friend, family member or worse yet, a total stranger like a divorce attorney or court judge.

One of the important tips for mediation is to resist the urge to discuss the details of your divorce proceedings with friends and family.

Instead, lean on them for emotional support instead. And wait for the divorce mediation process to get the information necessary to make educated decisions on these important issues.

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Tip #8: Don’t make financial commitments before your divorce agreement is worked out.

Sometimes, when couples are able to speak with each other outside of session, it can lead to better decision making and quicker progress. But as much as communicating outside of mediation sessions can sometimes be positive, there are also times when talking (and more specifically making decisions) outside of session can do more harm than good. In all of the states we practice in, both equitable distribution states and community property states, the parties are encouraged to actively participate in, and come to agreement on, the fair division of their marital assets and liabilities. But unless you and your spouse are experts in the financial matters pertaining to divorce, this can be a dangerous path to walk.

Divorce is a difficult process so it’s normal to want to get through it as quickly as you can. And you might think that you can help speed the process if you and your soon-to-be ex try to make as many decisions as possible before you start mediation.

But given the financial complexities of divorce, you can’t decide what a fair and equitable settlement looks like until you first have all the facts.

Then there are the parties who fall into the trap of thinking the best way to divide up assets and liabilities is by splitting each item down the middle. That can lead to thousands of dollars in additional fees that wouldn’t have been necessary if they had waited for an expert mediator skilled in the finances of divorce to offer alternative more efficient options.

Finally, there are the tax consequences of divorce. Assets and liabilities can each have different tax consequences and if not properly accounted for, a divorce settlement that might look fair on paper may turn out to be favorable to only one party and not the other. This can happen if one party trades a checking account for a 401k, confusing pre-tax with post-tax dollars, or when there are stocks involved and neither party is aware of the cost basis of a given portfolio.

That’s why working with a mediator skilled in the finances of divorce is critical. Not only to help streamline your negotiations, but to help you avoid unexpected and unpleasant surprises from the IRS.

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Tip #9: Engage in a good faith divorce negotiation.

Because mediation is a transparent process, you and your spouse will both need to be prepared to engage in a good faith negotiation. That means you’ll need to reveal and openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to your divorcing spouse. And ensure that the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of your knowledge. If you and/or your spouse is hiding a marital asset, defrauding the other or not being honest, not only will you not have a successful mediation, but you won’t be able to complete your negotiations using mediation at all.

So if you want to avoid being embroiled in expensive, time-consuming and stressful court battle with your spouse and your respective family law attorney, choose to follow this divorce mediation tip.

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Divorce mediation checklist:

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A mediator’s ability to effectively help you during mediation relies greatly on how promptly, thoroughly and accurately you’ve prepared in advance.

To get a head start preparing for divorce mediation, here’s a divorce mediation checklist of documents to begin gathering:
- Tax returns (Federal & State)
- Pay stubs
- W-2’s and/or 1099’s
- Partnerships & other business interests valuation
- Real estate property valuation
- Vehicles, boats, trailers valuation
- Savings, checking, money market and CD accounts
- Non-retirement investments such as stocks, bonds, secured notes, mutual funds
- Executive compensation – stock options, RSUs or other executive comp
- Retirement accounts and pensions
- Annuities, IRAs, deferred compensation
- Life insurance (whole life policies)
- Jewelry, antiques, art, coin collections, or other property with significant value
- Accounts receivable & unsecured notes
- Real estate loans
- Credit cards and revolving credit
- Other loans and debts
- Depending on the state you live in, homeowner insurance policy information, auto insurance information, health insurance information, and other information may also be needed
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Lay the groundwork for a peaceful
divorce

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do mediation sessions take place?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we start mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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April 30, 2025
The True Cost of Divorce Mediation: More Than Just a Mediator’s Hourly Rate
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Most people think the total cost of divorce mediation is determined solely by the mediator’s hourly rate. And while it might be hard to believe, the hourly rate of the mediator only has some (but not much) bearing on what your divorce mediation cost will ultimately be.

So if it’s not only the hourly rate of the mediator, what other factors should a divorcing couple be concerned about?

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How much does mediation cost and what contributes to it?

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In addition to the mediator’s hourly rate, there are at least three other factors that contribute to how much your divorce mediation will cost you. They are:
- The competency, skill level, and experience of the mediator;
- The services provided by the divorce mediator;
- The thoroughness of the mediator’s process.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these factors and how each contributes to average divorce mediation cost.

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1. The competency, skill level, and experience of the divorce mediator is a factor in the cost of mediation

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Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States. That means anyone can call themselves a mediator. But just because someone calls themself a mediator doesn’t mean they’re competent or qualified to do so. Even with training, or community mediation experience, there’s no guarantee someone will have the experience needed to mediate your case successfully.

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What does it take to be a competent and experienced divorce mediator?

There are four characteristics an experienced and competent mediator must possess:
- The ability to expertly guide two divorcing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
- The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
- A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
- Comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce settlement.
You’ll rarely find expert mediators like us who practice divorce mediation full-time and possess all of the skills described above. It’s more likely you’ll come across mental health professionals and divorce lawyers claiming to be divorce mediators. But when you take a closer look at what it takes to be a competent mediator for divorce, you’ll see things don’t quite add up.

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Mental health professionals aren’t good with numbers

While marriage and family therapists are generally good about remaining neutral, given they’re only mediating a fraction of the time, their experience is slow to come. And most every mental health professional we know has told us they’re not good with the “money stuff” and was actually the reason they stopped attempting to mediate. For the ones who are still mediating, this is bad news for their clients because three of the four matters in divorce directly involve money.

[/fusion_text][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Attorney-mediators have difficulty remaining neutral

While they may have a command of divorce and family law, divorce attorney mediators fall short in two of the four competency areas. The biggest being neutrality. Yet the ability to remain a neutral third party (and not give legal advice) is the number one requirement of being a competent mediator.

And when it comes to creating options and guiding parties towards settlement, they’re usually in the “tell, don’t ask” camp. That’s a big problem since a cornerstone of divorce and family mediation is enabling the parties to control the terms of their marital settlement agreement, not dispensing legal advice or telling them what to do.

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What does competency and experience have to do with the cost of divorce mediation?

When not handled properly, you might find yourself facing unexpected legal consequences and agreement oversights that can end up costing you more down the road.

Think about it – what if your mediator lacks the expertise to help you reach a fair agreement? Or if they aren’t truly neutral, offer inappropriate advice, or leave you feeling uncomfortable with your settlement terms?

In these situations, you’d likely need to hire another private mediator to help fix these issues—meaning more time and money spent. In the worst-case scenario, you might even find yourself in the court system potentially facing thousands in legal fees on top of what you’ve already invested in mediation that didn’t work out.

The good news? Working with an experienced, skilled divorce mediator makes all the difference. With the right mediator, you won’t face those extra costs or frustrations because your mediation will succeed and your divorce will be handled properly from the start.

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2. Understanding how the differences in divorce mediation services affect the cost of mediation

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What do the services provided by the mediator have to do with cost?

Everything a mediator can do “in-house” at the time of your mediation and includes in the cost of mediation services saves you and your spouse money, time, and stress. Here are a few examples.

Support for divorce emotions:

Many mediators don’t offer services to help you deal with the intense anger and sadness that often accompanies divorce. Fail to manage them constructively and there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself in court. Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and wasting years of your life while you, your spouse and your lawyers battle it out in traditional divorce litigation.

But if you find divorce mediators who are skilled in managing divorce emotions and also have a divorce coach available to you throughout the mediation process, it will provide you with the emotional support you need to make the negotiation phase of mediation more productive and improve your settlement outcome.

The thoroughness of the negotiations:

Some mediators will ask you and your spouse what you want your agreement to look like and they’ll write down whatever you say.

But a mediator that offers a comprehensive private mediation service will:
- Expertly and actively guide you through a series of in-depth negotiations on the issues you and your spouse (and your children) face at the time of your divorce;
- Make sure you discuss and come to agreement on all topics required to peacefully and cost-effectively required to end your marriage – even the ones you’re not aware of;
- Bring to the table a variety of creative options you may not have considered as potential solutions to an issue;
- And “future-proof” your divorce or separation agreement by providing guidance and a framework for what to do when circumstances change.
Working with an expert mediator will eliminate the need for you and your spouse to return to mediation (or worse yet, court) years after your divorce to discuss something that wasn’t covered at the time of your divorce and pay extra court fees.

The drafting of the agreement:

Some mediators prepare a very basic agreement that leaves out specifics. And some only prepare a bulleted list. You would then need to pay a drafting attorney an additional few thousand dollars to rewrite your agreement so its intentions are clear.

But if you hire the right mediator and that mediator is highly skilled, he’ll draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which outlines in great detail all agreements made during your mediation work. This way you and your spouse know exactly what you both agreed to, have a plan to follow when a specific situation that was discussed in a mediation session arises in the future.

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3. The divorce mediation process – or lack of one – also contributes to the cost

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A mediation process includes a series of forms, worksheets, and systems that, in conjunction with an organized approach to document gathering and negotiation, results in a peaceful, fair, child-focused, thorough, and cost-effective divorce agreement.

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Why is a thorough process so critical to keeping costs in line?

The divorce process is very complicated, requires a lot of paperwork, and has a lot of moving parts. Not only that but there will be hundreds of life-changing decisions you and your spouse will need to make. You’ll want to be sure that all of the steps required are covered and carried out in a timely and efficient manner. And completed correctly and in the right order.

A thorough divorce mediation process can go a long way towards making sure all divorce issues are covered properly and in the right order so both divorcing spouses can complete mediation in a timely, productive, and cost-effective fashion.

Some mediators employ very little, if any, process.

They may give you a high-level list of documents to gather or worksheets to fill out and tell you to come back when you’re done. But they won’t tell you where to find these documents or how to complete the worksheets. They may ask you to prepare a budget. Or to do an accounting of your marital assets and liabilities. But again, offer no guidance on what they mean or how to do this.

Some mediators may give you a list of documents to gather and bring to your sessions. They then have you fill out forms and worksheets in session so they can rack up billable hours. Or, they may simply start meeting with you and your spouse without a clear agenda outlining what topics need to be covered in a particular mediation session. Your mediation will take much longer than is necessary and you will have wasted time and incurred additional costs because the mediator didn’t give you the instruction and guidance you needed to have a productive outcome.

On the other hand, working with a mediator who has a thorough process can:
- Ensure you and your spouse correctly complete all needed forms and worksheets and submit all required information the mediator will need to effectively assist you;
- Prepare you both to have a fair and productive negotiation;
- Prevent you from having to return to court in the future to discuss an asset or liability that wasn’t discussed during your divorce negotiations. Or miss out on something you may have been entitled to a share of.
- Help you complete your proceedings in a reasonable period of time instead of letting them drag on forever.
Making your divorce mediation cost-effective, efficient, and productive.

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How much does divorce mediation cost? Now you know the real truth!

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Now you know there is so much more to the cost of divorce mediation beyond the mediator’s hourly rate. So if you want to fully understand what your divorce mediation costs will ultimately be, you also need to factor in:
1. The competency, skill level, and experience of the mediator;
2. The scope of services provided by the mediator;
3. The thoroughness of the mediator’s process.
Before you hire a mediator for your uncontested divorce based solely on their hourly rate or the low fee they might have quoted you over the phone, do your research and make sure you’re comparing “apples to apples.”

Hire a mediator who is experienced, highly skilled, provides a comprehensive service and has a thorough process.

That’s the only way to ultimately ensure your divorce mediation will be as cost-effective as possible.

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Take your first step towards a peaceful
divorce

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Frequently Asked Questions

[/fusion_title][fusion_accordion type=”toggles” inactive_icon=”” active_icon=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” class=”faq-style1″ id=”” boxed_mode=”yes” border_size=”2″ border_color=”#d8e8f2″ hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_color=”#f4f3ef” background_color=”” divider_line=”” divider_hover_color=”” divider_color=”” padding_top=”10px” padding_right=”5px” padding_bottom=”10px” padding_left=”5px” title_tag=”h4″ fusion_font_family_title_font=”Poppins” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”600″ title_font_size=”18px” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color6)” icon_size=”25px” icon_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_boxed_mode=”no” icon_box_color=”#d8e8f2″ icon_alignment=”right” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”16px” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_hover_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” toggle_active_accent_color=”var(–awb-color6)” parent_dynamic_content=””][fusion_toggle title=”How Does Divorce Mediation Work?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What issues can mediation resolve?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do mediation sessions take place?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we start mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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April 30, 2025
Why Choose Mediation? 10 Ways It Outperforms Traditional Divorce (With Cost Comparison)
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Going through a major life event such as divorce is a significant and stressful experience. It’s not only emotionally devastating, but the divorce process itself can be long, drawn-out and destructive to everyone involved, including your children.

In divorce, no one wins. But how you move through – and eventually beyond a divorce is your choice. So wouldn’t you want to choose the divorce option that’s peaceful, cost-effective and best for you and your kids? Of course you would!

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No other divorce option comes close to offering the benefits of mediation.

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In this post, you’ll learn about the biggest advantages of mediation including:
- Mediation enables a divorcing couple to resolve their divorce issues out of court.
- Divorce mediation is the most child-focused of all divorce options.
- Mediation can help you get through your divorce in less time, with less stress, less conflict, and at a lower cost than a lawyer-driven divorce litigation or a collaborative divorce.
- Divorce mediation is the most flexible of the divorce methods, allowing you to control the pace of your divorce and the terms of your settlement.
- Divorce mediators empower you to create an agreement that meets your unique needs, allowing each of you to get what you want, need and deserve in order to move forward with your lives.
- Mediation enables you to have an amicable divorce.
Once you’ve read this post, you’ll understand all the pros of mediation and why it’s the smartest and most dignified way to divorce.

Ready to learn about the benefits of divorce mediation?

Let’s dive in…

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What is mediation?

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While some people think mediation is relatively new, it’s actually been around for a very long time. Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process that was first used by the ancient Greeks nearly 1,500 years ago as a means to settle disputes between village members. With the first recorded case of mediation occurring in 533 A.D. or C.E.

Two villagers on opposite sides of an issue would enlist the help of the village elder to aid them in resolving their dispute. Through active discussion and debate, the elder would help the two parties move towards consensus and ultimately, an agreement. The elder would note the solution reached by he and the parties. And the parties would then move forward peacefully, having come to a mutually agreeable resolution.

Since those early days mediation work has evolved. It’s now being used to resolve a wide variety of topics that range from a simple argument between two neighbors all the way up to helping diplomats to end wars.

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How does mediation apply to divorce?

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Following the lead of the ancient Greeks, the parties (you and your divorcing spouse) will bring your disagreement (you want to end your marriage) to a knowledgeable, professional, and neutral mediator who will guide you both to a mutually agreeable solution for your disagreement (the solution being a divorce) using a variety of negotiation techniques.

During your time together, the divorce mediator will actively engage the two of you in a series of discussions on all the necessary subjects. They will help identify the relevant issues that pertain to your unique situation. Listen to your goals, needs, and concerns.

And ultimately help you come to all and agreements required to peacefully end your marriage.

You’ll cover divorce topics such as:
- A plan for parenting time and child custody arrangements for co-parenting your children post-divorce;
- The financial support each of you will provide your children (child support);
- The division of your marital assets and liabilities (also known as equitable distribution or community property depending on the state you live in);
- And how much and for how long you will pay or receive alimony (also known in some states as spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance).
As you come to a divorce agreement, a document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) will be drafted by the mediator and will contain all of the agreements made during mediation sessions on each of the four topics as well as a host of other issues related to your situation. One spouse cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the mediation process with a settlement created and acceptable to both of you.

In addition to discussing the issues necessary to end your marriage, the mediator can also help you resolve other matters such as how to tell the children you’re getting a divorce, what religion the children will be raised in, who will care for the family pet, etc. It can even assist you with your transition into life after divorce.

And if you work with a mediation team that offers a comprehensive divorce mediation process, it can enable you to complete the steps to divorce peacefully, fairly and cost-effectively.

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What are the benefits of mediation?

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Now that you know what mediation is and what it’s capable of resolving, let’s take a closer look at the 10 most compelling advantages of mediation for divorce.

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One of the biggest benefits of divorce mediation is that it’s more peaceful

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By its very nature, divorce can get heated. But just because you’ve made the decision to end your marriage doesn’t mean it has to turn into an all-out war. Instead of hiring two lawyers to battle on your behalf and represent only your interests, hire one mediator focused on maintaining the peace and focusing on solutions that benefit both parties.

And your children.

Unlike a litigated divorce, in the mediation process, there is no win or lose, taking sides, us versus them. The focus remains on respectful dialog and mutually agreeable problem-solving. Instead of who can shout the loudest or bully the other party into giving them what they want.

Mediators encourage couples to put away the hurt feelings of the past, focus on the future and move on with their lives. Instead of prolonging a court litigation battle in the name of “winning.”

Whatever “winning” means when it comes to divorce…

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Why is mediation advantageous? Because it puts your children first

[/fusion_title][fusion_imageframe image_id=”2398|full” aspect_ratio=”” custom_aspect_ratio=”100″ aspect_ratio_position=”” skip_lazy_load=”” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” max_width=”” sticky_max_width=”” align_medium=”none” align_small=”none” align=”none” mask=”” custom_mask=”” mask_size=”” mask_custom_size=”” mask_position=”” mask_custom_position=”” mask_repeat=”” style_type=”” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_type=”none” magnify_full_img=”” magnify_duration=”120″ scroll_height=”100″ scroll_speed=”1″ margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”10px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” bordersize=”” bordercolor=”” borderradius=”” z_index=”” caption_style=”off” caption_align_medium=”none” caption_align_small=”none” caption_align=”none” caption_title=”” caption_text=”” caption_title_tag=”2″ fusion_font_family_caption_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_title_font=”” caption_title_size=”” caption_title_line_height=”” caption_title_letter_spacing=”” caption_title_transform=”” caption_title_color=”” caption_background_color=”” fusion_font_family_caption_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_text_font=”” caption_text_size=”” caption_text_line_height=”” caption_text_letter_spacing=”” caption_text_transform=”” caption_text_color=”” caption_border_color=”” caption_overlay_color=”” caption_margin_top=”” caption_margin_right=”” caption_margin_bottom=”” caption_margin_left=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://equitablemediation.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/mediation-is-child-focused-Equitable-Mediation.webp[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

There’s no question divorce is hard on you. But it’s even harder on your kids. Imagine taking all the stress they undoubtedly feel about an uncertain future and the worries about where they’ll live, coupled with the feeling like this was somehow their fault. And put them in the middle of a family law attorney-driven divorce.

With each letter, phone call, demand, and argument sent back and forth between your divorce lawyers, the process becomes more and more adversarial. And soon you and your spouse may be so busy fighting you’ll have no time to focus on your children. Let alone agree on what’s best for them.

So off to court proceedings you’ll go…

Do you really want your child taking the stand in a family law court being forced to answer the question, “Do you want to live with your mother or your father?” That’s exactly what could happen in traditional litigation if you don’t mediate.

Divorce mediators treat you as parents. Not as litigants. Every decision in mediation is made with one thing in mind: How will this impact the children?

When you spend your time focusing on the kids instead of trying to exact revenge on your soon-to-be-ex through your divorce negotiations, marital issues get resolved much faster and potential arguments are often avoided.

Remember, after you’re divorced, you’ll no longer be husband and wife, but you will still (and always) be mom and dad.

So do what’s best for your children and mediate your divorce.

[/fusion_text][fusion_title title_type=”text” scroll_reveal_effect=”color_change” scroll_reveal_basis=”chars” scroll_reveal_behavior=”always” scroll_reveal_duration=”500″ scroll_reveal_stagger=”200″ scroll_reveal_delay=”0″ scroll_reveal_above_fold=”yes” marquee_direction=”left” marquee_mask_edges=”no” marquee_speed=”15000″ rotation_effect=”bounceIn” display_time=”1200″ highlight_effect=”circle” loop_animation=”once” highlight_animation_duration=”1500″ highlight_width=”9″ highlight_smudge_effect=”no” highlight_top_margin=”0″ before_text=”” rotation_text=”” highlight_text=”” after_text=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” title_link=”off” link_url=”” link_target=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” content_align_medium=”” content_align_small=”left” content_align=”left” size=”2″ animated_font_size=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” font_size=”38px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color4)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” animated_text_color=”” highlight_color=”” text_shadow=”no” text_shadow_vertical=”” text_shadow_horizontal=”” text_shadow_blur=”0″ text_shadow_color=”” text_stroke=”no” text_stroke_size=”1″ text_stroke_color=”” text_overflow=”none” margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” margin_top_mobile=”” margin_bottom_mobile=”” gradient_font=”no” gradient_start_color=”” gradient_end_color=”” gradient_start_position=”0″ gradient_end_position=”100″ gradient_type=”linear” radial_direction=”center center” linear_angle=”180″ style_type=”default” sep_color=”” link_color=”” link_hover_color=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Another of the benefits of mediation in divorce is that it takes less time and is more efficient

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It’s no surprise the family court systems are overwhelmed. State budget cuts. Hiring freezes. And an ever-increasing workload. Getting a court date could take up to a year.

Now try and get two divorce lawyers to also agree to meet on the date and time the courts gave you. Throw your busy schedules into the mix and you’ve got a scheduling nightmare on your hands. Before you know it, your divorce could take two to three years! Time you’ll spend waiting around. Unable to move on with your life.

Stuck living together. In limbo. Not knowing what your settlement is going to look like or when you’ll get your divorce decree.

Talk about stressful!

Mediation, on the other hand, is much more efficient.

And can take as little as two to three months.

Because you will be fully in control, by using divorce mediation, you can more quickly end your marriage, begin the healing process and move forward with your life. No trying to coordinate schedules with family law divorce attorneys or a judge. Or waiting around for the court process to dictate when you can come in.

You’ll move through the process as quickly or slowly as you wish. Taking as little or as much time as you need to resolve all of the issues necessary.

No divorce attorney required.

Courts love a mediated divorce. Because all issues are already resolved, couples can usually get their divorce finalized in a matter of weeks. And that’s it.

So ask yourself: Do you want your divorce to take two to three years or two to three months?

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One of the mediation benefits is that it’s more cost-effective than hiring attorneys for divorce

[/fusion_title][fusion_imageframe image_id=”833|full” aspect_ratio=”” custom_aspect_ratio=”100″ aspect_ratio_position=”” skip_lazy_load=”” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” max_width=”” sticky_max_width=”” align_medium=”none” align_small=”none” align=”none” mask=”” custom_mask=”” mask_size=”” mask_custom_size=”” mask_position=”” mask_custom_position=”” mask_repeat=”” style_type=”” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_type=”none” magnify_full_img=”” magnify_duration=”120″ scroll_height=”100″ scroll_speed=”1″ margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”10px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” bordersize=”” bordercolor=”” borderradius=”” z_index=”” caption_style=”off” caption_align_medium=”none” caption_align_small=”none” caption_align=”none” caption_title=”” caption_text=”” caption_title_tag=”2″ fusion_font_family_caption_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_title_font=”” caption_title_size=”” caption_title_line_height=”” caption_title_letter_spacing=”” caption_title_transform=”” caption_title_color=”” caption_background_color=”” fusion_font_family_caption_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_text_font=”” caption_text_size=”” caption_text_line_height=”” caption_text_letter_spacing=”” caption_text_transform=”” caption_text_color=”” caption_border_color=”” caption_overlay_color=”” caption_margin_top=”” caption_margin_right=”” caption_margin_bottom=”” caption_margin_left=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://equitablemediation.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/cost-effective-divorce-mediation-Equitable-Mediation.webp[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

Fact: Mediation is less expensive than typical divorce proceedings using attorneys.

The Wall Street Journal reported that the average cost of a “friendly” attorney divorce is between $27,000 and $32,000. And that’s if all “goes well.” If it doesn’t (and let’s face it – not many attorney-driven divorces do), that cost range becomes $78,000 to $200,000.

Do you have that kind of money to spend on your divorce? Even if you did, do you want to?

To start, most divorce lawyers require an initial retainer of between $5,000 and $10,000 per person depending upon the complexity of your case and how well you and your spouse get along. So before you even negotiate your first point, you’re divorce cost will be $10,000 to $20,000. By the time things wrap up, you could be looking at tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars more to get your divorce.

One of the advantages of mediation is that both spouses will work with one mediator who is dedicated to helping them both reach a resolution as quickly and efficiently as possible.

The total average cost of mediation is thousands less than a lawyer-driven divorce.

And some mediators don’t require a retainer. You just pay as you go. Or, better yet, you might find a mediator who offers a flat fee so you can know up-front exactly what your mediation will cost from start to finish.

Why is mediation so cost-effective?

First, you’re working with one mediator instead of two divorce lawyers. So you’ve already cut the number of professionals involved in half. Second, there’s no back and forth between attorneys. All communication is done in real-time, between all parties, and out of court. Allowing you to resolve things faster thus keeping costs in check. Finally, because mediation is about problem-solving and agreement building instead of each attorney trying to prove a point and “win” something for their side, solutions are reached much more quickly.

Less time to case completion equals much lower costs for you.

By choosing to mediate your divorce, you’ll be able to put your own kids through college instead of your attorneys’ kids.

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“Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved, the revenue stream will keep flowing.” – Craig Fergusen

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Another benefit of mediation: It’s empowering and fair

[/fusion_title][fusion_imageframe image_id=”2399|full” aspect_ratio=”” custom_aspect_ratio=”100″ aspect_ratio_position=”” skip_lazy_load=”” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” max_width=”” sticky_max_width=”” align_medium=”none” align_small=”none” align=”none” mask=”” custom_mask=”” mask_size=”” mask_custom_size=”” mask_position=”” mask_custom_position=”” mask_repeat=”” style_type=”” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_type=”none” magnify_full_img=”” magnify_duration=”120″ scroll_height=”100″ scroll_speed=”1″ margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”10px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” bordersize=”” bordercolor=”” borderradius=”” z_index=”” caption_style=”off” caption_align_medium=”none” caption_align_small=”none” caption_align=”none” caption_title=”” caption_text=”” caption_title_tag=”2″ fusion_font_family_caption_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_title_font=”” caption_title_size=”” caption_title_line_height=”” caption_title_letter_spacing=”” caption_title_transform=”” caption_title_color=”” caption_background_color=”” fusion_font_family_caption_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_text_font=”” caption_text_size=”” caption_text_line_height=”” caption_text_letter_spacing=”” caption_text_transform=”” caption_text_color=”” caption_border_color=”” caption_overlay_color=”” caption_margin_top=”” caption_margin_right=”” caption_margin_bottom=”” caption_margin_left=”” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://equitablemediation.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/mediation-is-fair-Equitable-Mediation.webp[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

When you hire a divorce lawyer, you’re giving up control of your future to a complete stranger. Sending them off to make decisions that will impact you and your children for the rest of your lives. While you sit around waiting for an e-mail or phone call with the results of the negotiations.

“It’s the best you can expect to get,” you’ll be told. “I wouldn’t argue for more if I were you,” your attorney will say. So you sign the papers even though you don’t think it’s a fair deal, but you don’t want it to get any worse.

In family mediation, you are in complete control of your future.

And you don’t need to involve lawyers if you don’t want to.

You’re both empowered to engage in an active agreement-making process. And make choices that are in your mutual best interests and the best interests of your children. Allowing you both to achieve your intended goals. And feel good about the agreements you made.

With no regrets.

As opposed to the traditional attorney-driven “win-lose” model that is based on positions such as, “You tell my no-good husband/wife I have to get at least $X a month in alimony or they’ll never see the kids again!” One of you might get what you want by sheer brute force. While the other will be resentful that they gave in. That’s not empowering or fair in the slightest.

Take charge of your future and mediate your uncontested divorce instead.

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One of the benefits of divorce mediation is that a successful mediation has a higher rate of compliance

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Do you prefer to be told what to do? Or would you prefer to have a say in what happens? If you’re like most people, you’d rather have a say. I mean really. Who likes being told what to do?

In the first option, you and your spouse use attorneys who, by default, are overbearing in nature. They claim to know what’s best for you and what you deserve. And they’re going to fight to try to get it for you. No matter what the cost.

But what if your attorney fighting for something you don’t care about or want in the first place? Or you and your spouse can’t agree on anything so you have no choice but to go to divorce court and take your chances. Only to end up with an agreement neither of you is happy with.

In mediation, you’ll both have a say in what’s important. In what’s going to be discussed. And in which order it’s going to be resolved. Doing so allows you to come to an agreement that reflects your unique wants and needs and the needs of your children. Covering the issues that are important to both of you.

Making it much more likely you’ll both be satisfied with the terms of your agreement and adhere to it now, and in the future.

To give you some food for thought:

With respect to compliance with the agreement and re-litigation, 80% of divorcing spouses [who mediated] reported compliance, with only 60% of the adversarial parties.

Source: Divorce Mediation: Reflections on a Decade of Research by J. Pearson and N. Thoennes

It’s hard to not comply with something you had a hand in creating, don’t you think?

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Another of the advantages of mediation is that mediation results in more thorough and practical agreements

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As you’ve just learned, having a say in what your settlement agreement looks like can go a long way towards both fairness and compliance. But mediation can also go a long way toward getting you an agreement you can actually use.

Unlike in a traditional process where it’s all about interpreting, arguing, and crafting agreements based strictly on law or money, mediation allows you to create an agreement that is based on your situation and your family’s unique needs.

In mediation, you will discuss, agree on and have the mediator draft a document that covers all necessary divorce issues such as child support and how you will divide a 401K plan. But you’ll also be able to discuss and resolve other important life matters such as how your children can be introduced to your ex’s new significant other, how your family pet will be cared for, etc. And language can be included in your agreement to cover all of these things. Because while who gets the house or how much alimony you’ll have to pay or will receive are important topics to discuss and agree on, there’s much more to a divorce than just that.

In addition to the required topics that need resolving, divorce also needs to address all of life’s other challenges and responsibilities. Unlike the traditional process, mediation can help you discuss, decide on and plan for every type of situation – now and in the future.

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Why is mediation advantageous? It’s a more personalized and dignified experience

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Ever set foot in a courthouse? Big marble columns. Cold tile floors. Courtrooms that echo with the sound of your voice. It’s highly impersonal. And the people in there? They run around like they’re in some sort of race. Hustling from room to room and case-to-case, shouting as they go.

Try as they might, courthouse staff and judges are so overburdened with caseloads they simply can’t get to know each divorce litigant and defendant personally. They need to get you in, out, and on your way, because they’ve got 15 more just like you on the docket over the next 8 hours.

“Next!”

You’ll get to know your mediator and he’ll get to know you. He’ll take the time to learn about your lives. Your children’s lives. And your goals for the future. Doing so allows your mediator to understand what matters most to each of you and your family. And to suggest options that may be applicable in your unique situation. All over the course of as much time as you need to come to agreement on all relevant issues.

Mediation truly is a kinder, more dignified, human process.

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Another reason to mediate your divorce: Mediation is more convenient and flexible

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When you work within the confines of the traditional divorce process, you’re forced to show up when and where you’re told. There’s no messing around. And if you don’t, you’ll have an awful lot of problems.

On the other hand, mediation allows you, your spouse, and the mediator to select a day and time that works for all of you. In addition to the scheduling flexibility, some mediators also offer online divorce mediation services for location flexibility.

You may travel frequently for your job and wonder how you’re ever going to be able to fit a mediation session in since you’re always on the road. Or perhaps you and your husband or wife live or work far apart geographically and the logistics of being in the same place at the same time are all but impossible. Or, you may simply not be comfortable sitting next to your soon-to-be ex in the same room.

Online mediation can happen anywhere.

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And finally, one of the biggest benefits of divorce mediation is that it’s a private and confidential process

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Most people forget that divorce litigation in court is a public forum. Anyone and I mean anyone, can sit in the back of a courtroom and watch the proceedings unfold in your divorce case.

Your friends. Your family. That neighbor who knows everybody’s business. (You know exactly which neighbor I’m talking about.) The breakup of your marriage is on full display. And your dirty laundry hung out for all to see. And before long, you’ll have a full-blown circus on your hands.

Divorce through the traditional process is very public and very humiliating.

Mediation, on the other hand, is completely private.

No one knows what’s being discussed except you, your spouse, and the mediator. Everything is decided in the confines of the mediator’s office or via private communications. All e-mail communications, meeting notes, case files, and agreements remain secure and only shared with those you’ve given the mediator explicit permission to share with. Mediation is also protected in the United States by the Uniform Mediation Act. Making all conversations privileged and confidential except under extraordinary circumstances.

You can feel comfortable and free to discuss almost anything during a divorce mediation session.

You’re going to be sharing the most intimate details of your life with your chosen professional. So unless you enjoy putting on a show for the entire world to see, be like Bill and Melinda Gates or Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos, and choose the private and confidential process of mediation.

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How to know if mediation is a viable option for your divorce

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It takes two people to get married but only one to get a divorce. So no matter which path forward you take, you will eventually wind up divorced It simply becomes a choice as to what divorce method you use to get there.

Knowing you have a choice, you’ll want to select the divorce method that allows you to have the most peaceful, fair, child-focused, and cost-effective divorce possible. And that choice is mediation. No other divorce option comes close to offering the advantages that mediation provides. Almost anyone can mediate.

All it takes are these things:
1. You are both willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation.If only one party wants to mediate but the other party does not, then, unfortunately, mediation will not be a viable option for divorce.
2. You are both comfortable and interested in making your own decisions.Because mediation follows the principles of self-determination, couples acknowledge that they will be in complete control of the choices made regarding their divorce settlement. The mediator is a neutral third party who will help identify each relevant divorce issue and bring options to the table but will not give legal advice. Or tell either of you what to do.
3. You are both mentally capable of making your own decisions.Your mediator will provide you with information you need in order to make the decisions required. But you must be of sound mind and have the mental capacity to make them. If either party is mentally incapacitated, mediation will not be a viable option.
4. You are both willing to be transparent and engage in a good-faith negotiation.Because mediation is a transparent process, you will both need to be prepared to engage in good-faith negotiation. That means you’ll need to reveal and openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to your spouse. And ensure that the information is accurate, complete, and truthful to the best of your knowledge. If either party is hiding assets, defrauding the other, or not being honest, you will not be able to mediate.
High conflict or low conflict, whether only one of you controlled the finances or you both balanced the checkbook, kids or no kids, as long as you and your husband or wife meet the guidelines listed above, you are good candidates to use divorce mediation.

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What are the benefits of divorce mediation – conclusion and next steps:

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So there you have it! You now know:
- How mediation is the most peaceful and child-focused of all divorce options.
- How mediation can help you get through your divorce in less time, with less stress, and at a lower cost than a lawyer-driven divorce.
- How mediation is the most flexible of the divorce methods, allowing you to control the pace and divorce terms of your settlement.
- How mediation empowers you to create a fair and thorough agreement that meets your unique needs and the unique needs of your children.
Hopefully, you learned enough about the advantages of mediation to understand why it’s the best option for divorce.

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So what now? Where do you go from here?

It all really depends on where you are in the process.
- For example, if your wife or husband is already aware of your decision to divorce and he/she is willing to proceed, your next step might be to suggest mediation in hopes they’ll agree to mediate.
- On the other hand, if you both already agree on using mediation, your next step is to hire an expert mediator to guide you through your divorce negotiations.
Luckily, you found us!

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Take your first step towards a peaceful
divorce

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long does divorce mediation take?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How much does divorce mediation cost?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do mediation sessions take place?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do I need a lawyer for divorce mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Do we need to have everything figured out before starting mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What if we want a legal separation instead of divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we start mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”What are the benefits of mediation?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who pays for mediation in a divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can a mediator give legal advice?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs attorney: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Divorce mediation vs collaborative divorce: What are the differences?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Can divorce mediation be binding?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How long after mediation is divorce final?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”Who can use mediation for divorce?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”When is divorce mediation not recommended?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]
- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
[/fusion_toggle][fusion_toggle title=”How do we choose a good divorce mediator?” open=”no” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” class=”list-ul-style ul” id=”” fusion_font_family_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_title_font=”” title_font_size=”” title_line_height=”” title_letter_spacing=”” title_text_transform=”” title_color=”var(–awb-color8)” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” fusion_font_family_content_font=”” fusion_font_variant_content_font=”” content_font_size=”” content_line_height=”” content_letter_spacing=”” content_text_transform=”” content_color=”var(–awb-color8)”]

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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April 30, 2025
Collaborative Divorce vs. Mediation: Which Saves More Money and Stress?
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Collaborative divorce vs mediation is a critically important decision couples need to make. But with so much at stake, how to decide which divorce option is best isn’t easy, as there are many differences between collaborative divorce and mediation including: cost, time to complete, and approach, among many other things.

In this post, we’ll take a closer look at collaborative law vs mediation so you can decide which one is right for you.

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Collaborative divorce vs mediation? You decide.

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There’s a lot more to these divorce options and how they work, but here’s an overview for each.

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Divorce mediation process overview:

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Divorce mediation is a cost effective, cooperative, divorce method (alternative dispute resolution process) whereby a neutral third-party (the Mediator) will help and guide a couple through resolving the issues and financial matters of divorce.

It requires voluntary participation from you and the other party. And the mediator works for both you and your spouse.

Mediation is confidential and the conversations had in session are never a matter of public record. Giving couples the freedom to discuss, without fear of judgement or reprisal, all issues relevant to their divorce.

There is no requirement that a mediator be an attorney and in fact, some of the most qualified mediators aren’t lawyers at all.

When a couple chooses to mediate, lawyers are not also required at any point in their divorce unless either spouse or both choose to involve a separate attorney(s). That makes mediating a good option for those who prefer to divorce without attorneys.

The divorce mediator will:

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- Help you and your spouse (the parties) identify and understand the relevant subjects that need to be addressed in your divorce so informed decisions can be made by each of you;
- Act as peacemaker while guiding negotiations between you and your husband or wife on any areas of disagreement with the goal of reaching a positive outcome;
- Bring options to the table and help you create a mutually acceptable divorce agreement that is customized to the unique needs of your situation and the unique needs of your children pertaining to your parenting plan and time sharing, child support, alimony (spousal support/maintenance/spousal maintenance), property division of marital assets and liabilities and other important topics;
- Draft much of the required paperwork including a Memorandum of Understanding which outlines the tenants of your agreement.
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Collaborative divorce process overview

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A collaborative divorce (also known as collaborative law process) is a hybrid between a traditional divorce using attorneys and divorce mediation.
- Each party would hire their own collaborative divorce attorney (a lawyer trained in the collaborative practice) to represent them. Just like in a traditional divorce situation, the goal of a collaborative divorce lawyer is to try to get the most favorable outcome for their one client – a divorce attorney can only represent one person;
- Both parties and their respective collaborative family law attorney signs a contract that states they are committed to using cooperative dispute resolution techniques instead of combative tactics to negotiate the various divorce issues. The contract is called a “participation agreement”;
- In collaborative divorce, a series of meetings take place in a law office between both spouses and their respective collaborative attorney along with other professionals as needed (such as financial professionals, child specialists, mental health professionals and a mediator to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the subjects;
If a mutually satisfactory outcome cannot successfully be reached on the relevant divorce issues using collaborative divorce, each divorce attorney will be disqualified from representing their respective client.

The couple (parties) will then continue with a litigated divorce through family law court proceedings, but will need to start over with new/different attorneys.

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Mediation vs collaborative law: Other differences between the two options:

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There are 7 key features of comparison between these two methods couples will want to familiarize themselves with to make the best choice in their unique situation.

Number of professionals involved:
- In divorce mediation, couples work with 1 mediator.
- In collaborative, there are 2 lawyers, plus other outside professionals including: one or more financial experts, custody specialists, therapists or a divorce coach, and a mediator.
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Neutrality:
- Mediators are neutral third parties and don’t take sides. In the divorce mediation process, they work with a divorcing couple together to help them reach mutually agreeable solutions that are fair to both and are in the children’s best interest.
- A collaborative lawyer (or any type of attorney) can only represent one spouse and their job is to advocate for their one client. So in the collaborative process, each spouse would have their own lawyer to advocate for them.
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Advice vs information:
- A divorce mediator empowers their clients to make their own decisions.
- Lawyers give advice and advise parties what to do.
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Time to completion:
- A mediated divorce can take 3 to 6 months to complete and the speed and pace of the process is primarily directed by the two spouses. The issues can typically be resolved in two to five mediation sessions. Once the issues are resolved, the speed of the uncontested divorce is related to the time it takes to file the divorce and get a court date to finalize the proceedings.
- Collaborative can take 8 to 14 months to complete. The issues can typically be resolved in four to six group sessions that vary in duration. The speed of the process is determined not only by how quickly all issues can be resolved, but, since there are a number of other people involved, also by the ability to coordinate the calendars of each party and their collaborative law attorney, the financial professional(s), the child specialist(s), therapist(s), conflict coach, etc. Other factors are related to the court process of filing, obtaining a court date, etc.
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Cost:
- The total cost of divorce through mediation typically ranges from $6,000 to $10,000 per couple.
- The cost of collaborative varies and can range from $25,000 to $50,000 depending on case complexity, the cooperation level between the parties and the number of outside professionals engaged in the process. If the collaborative process is unsuccessful and a case subsequently goes to trial, the cost of a divorce can range from $78,000 to $200,000.
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Certainty of outcomes:
- In a private mediation, since both parties have direct input into defining the terms of their settlement agreement, outcomes are certain and guaranteed.
- Collaborative divorce process can be risky because if agreement cannot successfully be reached on all outstanding issues, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the parties. The spouses would then need to start over again and each would need to hire their own new divorce attorney as they proceed into the litigation process. Divorce litigation is also risky because there are no guarantees as to what a judge’s ruling will be for the issues.
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Peaceful:
- Divorce Mediation is cooperative and non-adversarial. There are 3 participants working together in direct negotiation: the mediator and the two divorcing spouses.
- Despite the 4 or more parties sitting in the same room, collaborative divorce is still an adversarial process. The very nature being represented by counsel fosters an “us versus them” mentality.
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Collaborative divorce vs mediation: Which should you choose?

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Now that you’ve learned about the key differences and how they may apply to your unique circumstances, here are some reasons to choose a divorce mediator and some to choose collaborative divorce.

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Use mediation vs collaborative divorce when:

[/fusion_title][fusion_imageframe image_id=”612|full” aspect_ratio=”” custom_aspect_ratio=”100″ aspect_ratio_position=”” skip_lazy_load=”” lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” lightbox_image_id=”” alt=”” link=”” linktarget=”_self” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”” id=”” max_width=”” sticky_max_width=”” align_medium=”none” align_small=”none” align=”none” mask=”” custom_mask=”” mask_size=”” mask_custom_size=”” mask_position=”” mask_custom_position=”” mask_repeat=”” style_type=”” blur=”” stylecolor=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” hover_type=”none” magnify_full_img=”” magnify_duration=”120″ scroll_height=”100″ scroll_speed=”1″ margin_top_medium=”” margin_right_medium=”” margin_bottom_medium=”” margin_left_medium=”” margin_top_small=”” margin_right_small=”” margin_bottom_small=”” margin_left_small=”” margin_top=”10px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” bordersize=”” bordercolor=”” borderradius=”” z_index=”” caption_style=”off” caption_align_medium=”none” caption_align_small=”none” caption_align=”none” caption_title=”” caption_text=”” caption_title_tag=”2″ fusion_font_family_caption_title_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_title_font=”” caption_title_size=”” caption_title_line_height=”” caption_title_letter_spacing=”” caption_title_transform=”” caption_title_color=”” caption_background_color=”” fusion_font_family_caption_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_caption_text_font=”” caption_text_size=”” caption_text_line_height=”” caption_text_letter_spacing=”” caption_text_transform=”” caption_text_color=”” caption_border_color=”” caption_overlay_color=”” caption_margin_top=”” caption_margin_right=”” caption_margin_bottom=”” caption_margin_left=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”left” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_delay=”0″ animation_offset=”” filter_hue=”0″ filter_saturation=”100″ filter_brightness=”100″ filter_contrast=”100″ filter_invert=”0″ filter_sepia=”0″ filter_opacity=”100″ filter_blur=”0″ filter_hue_hover=”0″ filter_saturation_hover=”100″ filter_brightness_hover=”100″ filter_contrast_hover=”100″ filter_invert_hover=”0″ filter_sepia_hover=”0″ filter_opacity_hover=”100″ filter_blur_hover=”0″]https://equitablemediation.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/when-to-choose-divorce-mediator-Equitable-Mediation.webp[/fusion_imageframe][fusion_text columns=”” column_min_width=”” column_spacing=”” rule_style=”” rule_size=”” rule_color=”” hue=”” saturation=”” lightness=”” alpha=”” user_select=”” awb-switch-editor-focus=”” content_alignment_medium=”” content_alignment_small=”left” content_alignment=”left” hide_on_mobile=”small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility” sticky_display=”normal,sticky” class=”list-ul-style ” id=”” width_medium=”” width_small=”” width=”” min_width_medium=”” min_width_small=”” min_width=”” max_width_medium=”” max_width_small=”” max_width=”” margin_top=”40px” margin_right=”” margin_bottom=”” margin_left=”” fusion_font_family_text_font=”” fusion_font_variant_text_font=”” font_size=”16px” line_height=”” letter_spacing=”” text_transform=”” text_color=”var(–awb-color6)” animation_type=”fade” animation_direction=”static” animation_color=”” animation_speed=”1.0″ animation_delay=”0.5″ animation_offset=”” logics=””]

1. You want what’s best for your family.

In mediation, your children take center stage as you will be making decisions as parents, keeping your children’s best interests in mind.

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2. You want a high level of control over the terms of your settlement.

You’ll both have a high level of control over your settlement because you both will have a direct say in creating its terms and conditions.

In mediation, you won’t get legal advice or be told what to do. Instead, you will be fully empowered to make your own informed decisions.

You and your spouse will both have the opportunity to voice your concerns, be heard and have a direct say in the terms of your settlement.

Your agreement will only be final when both parties agree and say it is. In mediation, you will have the opportunity to change your mind on issues as many times as you need to throughout the process.

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3. You want your agreement to be fair to both you and your spouse.

Because the mediator is a neutral, third party mediator who doesn’t take sides, their job is to help you reach an agreement that you both find fair.

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4. You want to keep things peaceful.

Mediation is a non-adversarial and cooperative process.

You don’t need to agree on everything or be the best of friends in order to mediate your divorce. The mediator is a skilled professional and will help you negotiate the issues you do not agree on.

If you and your soon-to-be ex are both willing to mediate, mediation can work for you. And you can peacefully divorce without a lawyer.

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5. You don’t want your divorce proceedings to drag on forever.

When you look at divorce mediation vs the lawyer-driven collaborative law process, mediated divorces take significantly less time to complete.

The speed of mediation is controlled by you.

And in mediation, all communications take place in real time so any disagreements can be discussed and resolved right away.

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6. You want to save money.

Collaborative divorce is very expensive.

You’ll not only need to pay your respective lawyers for all of their time, but you’ll also have to pay for any other outside professionals brought into the divorce process, including the financial expert(s), custody specialist(s), therapist(s), coach(es), etc.

But if you mediate and select a highly skilled mediator, you’ll get a thorough agreement while saving tens of thousands of dollars on your divorce.

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7. You and your spouse are both willing to cooperate and keep your proceedings transparent.

Mediation requires full disclosure and transparency in order to work.

So you both must be willing to engage in a good faith negotiation and you both must be willing to compromise.

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Use collaborative divorce vs mediation when:

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1. You cannot use mediation but still want legal guidance to try to avoid litigation.

If your divorce case is problematic and you cannot use mediation services due to a dishonest, aggressive, uncooperative or reluctant spouse but you and your spouse still want to try to avoid litigation, it might be worth a try to engage collaborative professionals.

Collaborative divorce costs significantly more than divorce mediation, but less than litigation.

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2. You want legal advice and legal representation from an advocate who works for you and only you.

Since your lawyer will be representing you and only you, he/she can give you advice throughout the proceedings and advocate on your behalf if that is what you want.

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The bottom line

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This is your divorce, so the decision to use divorce mediation, or pursue a collaborative divorce, depends on personal choice, as well as your circumstances.

Hopefully, after reading this article, you feel more knowledgeable about the differences in these different divorce methods, in order to choose the option right for you.

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Lay the groundwork for a peaceful
divorce

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Frequently Asked Questions

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Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

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Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:
- A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
- Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
- The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
- And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)
Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

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Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

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Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

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Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

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There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

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No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

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Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

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Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

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You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

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Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

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No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

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There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

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There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

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During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

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After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

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Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:
- Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;
An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.
- Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;
Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.
- Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;
If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.
- Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;
Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

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- One spouse is incapacitated
  Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
- There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
  If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
- A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
  Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
- One spouse refuses to participate
  Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.
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Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:
1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.
Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

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April 30, 2025

Tag: Divorce Mediation

Technical requirements

Financial discovery

Creating a comfortable and private workspace

Communication strategies for effective online sessions

Mental and emotional preparation

Increased flexibility and convenience

Reduced emotional stress

Faster resolution process

When domestic violence is a concern

Couples with a significant power imbalance

The “technologically unsavvy”

Data protection in online platforms

Ensuring confidentiality in the mediation process

They made the decision to divorce without blame.

They focused on the big picture

They negotiated the terms of their divorce in good faith

They placed the needs of their children first

They worked through the terms of their divorce settlement in an environment of mutual respect and dignity – out of court – using divorce mediation

Gather financial information

Understand the divorce process

Consider counseling or coaching

Identify your goals

Choose a peaceful divorce method

Practice active listening

Use “I” statements

Focus on interests, not positions

Seek common ground

Negotiate your agreement using divorce mediation

What is a lawyer’s role?

There are a number of skills a divorce mediator must possess in order to make them highly-skilled.

Number of professionals

Premise

Approach

Time to Completion

Cost

Certainty of outcome

Peaceful

Confidentiality

1. You want what’s best for your children.

2. You want to keep things peaceful.

3. You want to save money.

4. You don’t want your divorce proceedings to drag on forever.

5. You want a high level of control over your divorce agreement.

1. Your spouse is incapacitated.

2. You fear for your safety or there’s domestic violence.

3. You have reason to believe your spouse is hiding assets.

4. Your spouse is unwilling to mediate.

What training has the divorce mediator had?

How long has the mediator been practicing?

Is divorce and family mediation their full-time profession?

How much experience does the mediator have specifically with divorce cases?

What is the mediator’s financial acumen?

What does the mediator do to stay on top of the latest developments in their profession?

What is the mediator’s case resolution rate?

Does the mediator have a proven mediation process to keep your divorce productive and efficient?

What is the mediator’s style, philosophy and approach to mediation sessions?

What is the scope of services provided by the divorce mediator?

What are the mediator’s fees?

Is the mediator compassionate?

What does the divorce mediator think about involving lawyers?

Tip #1: Hire a competent divorce mediator.

Tip #2: Be interested in, comfortable with and ready to make your own decisions.

Tip #3: Actively participate in the divorce mediation process.

Tip #4: Be willing to compromise.

Tip #5: Take care of yourself emotionally, physically and mentally during divorce.

Tip #6: Resist relying on the Internet as every state does things differently.

Tip #7: Don’t involve friends/family in your divorce mediation.

Tip #8: Don’t make financial commitments before your divorce agreement is worked out.

Tip #9: Engage in a good faith divorce negotiation.

What does it take to be a competent and experienced divorce mediator?

Mental health professionals aren’t good with numbers

Attorney-mediators have difficulty remaining neutral

What does competency and experience have to do with the cost of divorce mediation?

What do the services provided by the mediator have to do with cost?

Why is a thorough process so critical to keeping costs in line?

So what now? Where do you go from here?

Number of professionals involved:

Neutrality:

Advice vs information: