Dave and Jennifer's Challenges:
As the primary breadwinner, Dave's career required frequent relocations throughout their marriage, which strained his relationships with Jennifer and their children.
Jennifer had grown tired of moving every few years and wanted to establish a permanent residence for the family. She loved their Bedminster home and wished to stay there until, at minimum, Lexie graduated from college. However, she was unsure how she'd afford the home on her own or be able to refinance it solely in her name. She was also uncertain about her job prospects and earning potential.
Dave, having reached the pinnacle of his career and income, worried about his long-term job security and ability to maintain his current earnings. His main challenge was figuring out how to financially support Jennifer and the children, while also ensuring he had enough funds to sustain himself throughout his retirement years.
Step One: Look for the issue behind the issue
Dave and Jennifer felt like their contributions to the family and their sacrifices weren’t appreciated. So it was important that we helped them understand each other’s perspectives.
We created a safe, non-judgmental space for them to share their concerns and what they wished their spouse recognized.
For the first time in years, they were truly listening to each other – paving the way for effective negotiation.
Step Two: Uncover their wants and needs
Once we cleared the conflict and validated each of their positions, we led Dave and Jennifer through an interest-based negotiation. Of which, a key component was a comprehensive marital lifestyle review and cost of living analysis, as well as a post-marital budget and income analysis.
Once we were able to uncover their wants and needs, identify their zone of agreement, and determine what would actually be possible, we were able to guide them to a fair outcome which met each of their goals for the process.
Step Three: Develop interest-based solutions
As a result of our negotiations, Dave and Jennifer agreed:
- Jennifer would maintain the home, make the mortgage payments, and either sell or refinance the home in her name within 8 years or upon remarriage - whichever came first. And at that time, she would giving Dave 50% of the net sale proceeds.
- Until that time, Dave would stay on the mortgage so Jennifer wouldn’t have to worry about refinancing. Dave would delay receiving his share of accumulated home equity.
- Dave would pay higher amounts of support to Jennifer and the kids for a shorter duration.
- The agreement included built-in modifications to child support and spousal support that would automatically take effect when specific circumstances changed. This proactive approach eliminated the need for future mediation or litigation to adjust support as Jennifer’s earnings came online.
