Reconciling a Lifetime of Dreams for The McMillens

** Names and identifying details have been altered to maintain client confidentiality. **

The McMillens:

  • Both retired, no children.
  • Lived in Kirkland, Washington for the entirety of their 37-year marriage.
Ken McMillen, 65
  • Retired R&D Engineer.
  • Liked to spend his days at home, reading books, and watching TV.
  • Frugal and preferred to save money, not spend it.

Mary McMillen, 62

  • Retired bookkeeper.
  • Very sociable, actively involved in the community, with a strong desire to travel.
  • Wanted to live retirement to the fullest.
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Key Benefits:

Comprehensive income and expense analysis with cash flow equalization analysis

Cohabitation and co-ownership agreement with semi-annual review

Fair and equitable community property distribution

Please note: While this case study highlights select issues we helped the couple resolve, we assisted them in resolving all aspects of their divorce negotiations.

Ken & Mary’s Challenges:

Throughout their marriage, Ken had excelled in his engineering career. Full-time work, combined with two pensions and lifetime health benefits, had provided him with significant stability in retirement.

Mary, in contrast, had earned considerably less working as a part-time bookkeeper. Her retirement savings consisted of a small 401(k), and what she anticipated would be modest Social Security benefits. She had planned to live off her and Ken’s combined retirement savings and Social Security benefits.

She worried that her decision to seek a divorce later in life would completely upend her plans for her golden years. Forcing her to leave the community she was so emmeshed in, and possibly even the need to return to work.

Ken worried due to their vastly different spending styles and retirement expectations, that reaching a mutually satisfactory divorce agreement would not be possible.

 

Step One: Identify the shared interest

Ken and Mary had vastly different ideas of what retirement would look like. Which caused an enormous amount of friction, and ultimately led to their divorce.

Given the chasm between them, neither party could see that in reality, they both wanted the same thing: a lifestyle that met their definition of retirement.

So before we could even begin to guide them to agreement, we needed them to first understand they could each get what they wanted, without it being at the expense of the other.

 

Step Two: Establish a solid foundation from which to negotiate

To ensure their negotiations stayed focused and productive, and to improve the chances of both their needs being met, we guided Ken and Mary through a comprehensive budgeting exercise to assess their financial situation.

We analyzed nearly 100 distinct aspects of their shared expenses, creating a detailed financial portrait that revealed their spending patterns and priorities within their economic partnership.

Our analysis showed their spending was well within their means, and that their substantial retirement assets, combined with years of frugality, had positioned them well for the future.

However, two issues remained: addressing the imbalance in their savings and ensuring each could maintain their desired lifestyle.

 

Step Three: Negotiate a mutually beneficial agreement

With clear post-divorce living costs established, we focused on dividing their income streams and community property in a fair and equitable way.

Using a customized model, we projected their annual post-marital spending with inflation adjustments. During our negotiations, several income disparities emerged.

 

Ken's projected Social Security at age 67 would be nearly $2,000 higher than Mary’s. And he had two pensions providing him with an additional $1,730 in monthly benefits.

To address these gaps, we first negotiated a spousal maintenance agreement where Ken and Mary would share equally in their combined Social Security payments and Ken's monthly pension benefits. This arrangement would continue until either Ken's passing or Mary's remarriage.

 

Despite a lifetime of savings, Mary’s 401(k) balance was still 25% lower than that of Ken’s.

With this in mind, we then shifted our attention to community property division. We developed three property division scenarios, analyzing:

  • Monthly free cash flow
  • Anticipated lifespans
  • Projected investment returns
  • Annual drawdown needs
  • Cost of living increases

This analysis helped Ken and Mary visualize their potential annual spending and income requirements under each scenario. Combining these analyses with their previously reached spousal maintenance agreement, we negotiated agreement on a 55/45 split of the 401(k)s – in Mary’s favor.

Doing so would accommodate Mary’s desire to travel while still allowing Ken to maintain his optimal retirement lifestyle.

 

At the time of their divorce, mortgage interest rates were not favorable, which suppressed home prices in the Kirkland market.

To prevent them from having to sell in a trough, we helped Ken and Mary negotiate a co-habitation arrangement which allowed them to continue living in the home.

Included was a framework for a semi-annual “keep/sell” review, and agreements on care and upkeep, as well as operational and capital costs.

As Mary anticipated traveling frequently, she would be away from home often, leaving Ken with primary use of the residence. This arrangement made a cohabitation agreement practical.

Out-of-the-box solutions for later-in-life divorces


Ken and Mary realized multiple benefits from our approach:

  • Ken would be able to enjoy a fulfilling retirement of his own design.
  • While Mary could realize her dream of world travel and remain actively involved in the local charities and organizations she spent a lifetime devoted to.
  • Both Ken and Mary would be able to enjoy social and financial stability while remaining in the Kirkland area for the foreseeable future.

By leveraging our mediation expertise in gray divorces, Ken and Mary were able to reach a highly customized, mutually beneficial divorce agreement.

Equitable Mediation proprietary techniques used:

  • Marital Lifestyle Review & Cost of Living Analysis
  • Post-Marital Budget & Income Analysis
  • Tax Implication Analysis of Property Division
  • Cohabitation Plan
  • Custom Financial Modeling
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Significant cost savings and a fraction of the time


Ken and Mary’s mediation fee was $5,200, versus the $10,000 minimum they would have spent just on initial attorney retainers. Our process delivered both substantial cost savings and significantly faster resolution than traditional litigation, which can take months or even years longer.

Ready to take the next step?

When the financial and emotional challenges of divorce feel impossible to deal with, we’re here to help. We'll help you reach an agreement that addresses the needs of you, your spouse, and your family.

So you can move forward with confidence.

Schedule an Initial Meeting

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