When dreams and reality collide: Finding middle ground for the Garcias

To help Brad understand the reality of their situation, we suggested a simple but revealing exercise: mapping out their schedules for the next quarter. The results were stark.

Brad's calendar showed him absent for ten out of twelve weeks, with the remaining time consumed by late nights at the office. His physical presence at home had become as rare as a Silicon Valley rainfall.

Claudia's schedule told a different story. Her workdays were structured but demanding, filled with the emotional labor of patient care.

But it was what happened before and after work that painted the full picture: morning rushes to get children ready for school, afternoon pickups, homework supervision, dinner preparation, and bedtime routines.

All this while carrying the emotional burden of explaining to their children why Daddy couldn't make it to another soccer game or dance recital.

When we delved into the financial aspects, the numbers told their own story.

Over ten years, the couple had invested nearly $250,000 in Brad's various ventures - money that could have secured their family a foothold in the Bay Area's competitive housing market. Instead of building equity in a home, they had poured their savings into Brad's dreams of startup success.

What struck us most was Claudia's unfulfilled wish list: yoga classes she never attended, a book club she had to abandon, and monthly dinners with friends that had dwindled to occasional text messages.

These weren't mere activities; they were lifelines to her identity beyond being a mother and wife - lifelines that had frayed under the weight of her responsibilities.

While there’s no doubt past events drive a couple to divorce, mediation is a forward-looking process whose primary goal is to negotiate and craft agreements which will govern a couple’s co-parenting and financial relationship for the future.

Shifting a couple’s focus from past grievances to future possibilities is the only way to clear a path to agreement.

With that in mind, we were able to divert Brad and Claudia’s energy from their finances and redirect it to their shared commitment to Elizabeth and Jackson's well-being. The cornerstone of their agreement centered on redefining what active parenting meant for Brad, whose entrepreneurial career demanded flexibility.

Through thoughtful discussion, we developed an innovative timesharing arrangement that balanced Brad's desire for substantial involvement with Claudia's need for predictability.

The solution: Brad would have ten days of parenting time each month, with built-in flexibility to accommodate his variable schedule. Rather than rigid weekly rotations, they agreed to a quarterly planning system that ensured Brad maintained thirty days of quality parenting time over each three-month period.

This adaptive approach allowed them to coordinate their calendars in advance, reducing potential conflicts and ensuring Elizabeth and Jackson enjoyed meaningful time with both parents.

We also negotiated a review milestone at Jackson's entry into first grade, where they could either transition to a more structured 2:1 parenting schedule or extend annually their flexible arrangement based on their family's needs.

Equally nuanced was our approach to Brad's business equity.

The final agreement acknowledged the reality that Claudia had been more than a supportive spouse - she had been an indirect investor in Brad's ventures through their joint financial decisions over the years. We structured a graduated equity sharing arrangement that balanced Brad's entrepreneurial interests with Claudia's contributions to his success.

If his company went public within five years of their divorce, Claudia would receive 25% of Brad's ownership stake's net value, with Brad having the option to fulfill this obligation through stock transfer or cash payment.

The agreement included a thoughtful step-down provision: between years six and eight, Claudia's share would decrease by 5% annually until reaching 10%. This final percentage wasn't arbitrary – even at the company's current valuation, it would provide Claudia with sufficient funds for a home down payment, helping her establish long-term financial stability.