Divorce is a challenging life event that can feel overwhelming, even when you're prepared.
As a woman facing this transition, taking steps to get ready can make a significant difference. While no amount of planning can eliminate all the stress, being well-prepared can help you navigate the process more confidently.
This article offers 10 practical tips to help women prepare for divorce, focusing on key areas that are often overlooked, but can have a substantial impact on the outcome.
Tip #1: Stay Organized
My first tip is to stay organized.
And a good way to do that is by developing a system.
If you’re a pad and paper kind of person, get yourself a three-ring binder or Pendaflex file folder to keep copies of all the notes you’ll be taking, or documents you’ll be gathering. And label each section or pocket with tabs.
Or, if you’re a digital person, create a file structure on a computer or tablet you alone have access to (or in the cloud if you want added security,) so you can scan, and easily find copies of the documents you’ll need as you move through the divorce process.
Pro Tip: When scanning documents, take time to name each file so you can more easily find what you’re looking for in the future.
Tip #2: Make Copies of All Important Documents
Gather copies of all important documents in the areas of:
- Income – such as tax returns, W-2’s, and paystubs;
- Expenses – such as utility bills and mortgage statements;
- Assets – such as bank statements, investment account statements, and 401(k) statements;
- Liabilities – such as credit card statements and mortgage statements;
- Estate Planning – such as wills and/or trusts.
Pro Tip: When gathering documents, do a “multi period lookback.” Meaning – don’t just gather one year of tax returns, gather three. Or don’t just gather one month of credit card statements, gather six. Doing so will allow you to look at an average, rather than just a single time period.
Tip #3: Review Your Credit Reports
As you prepare for divorce as a woman, if you decide you want to apply for a mortgage to buy your spouse out of the marital home or want to get new credit cards only in your name, your credit history will need to be as clean as possible.
Reviewing your credit reports for accuracy is an important exercise for women planning for divorce.
Pro Tip: Visit the Annual Credit Report website to download free personalized reports from all three credit agencies. Make sure that you recognize all open credit titled in your name. And that any accounts that should be closed, are, in fact, closed.
Tip #4: Open a Post Office Box
It can be difficult to get sensitive mail delivered to your house if your spouse doesn’t yet know you want a divorce.
Post office boxes can be an easy, and inexpensive way to keep your private mail private. Especially if you plan on following my next two tips.
Pro Tip: While there are lots of places out there offering PO Boxes such as UPS stores, or Postal Annexes, I’ve found the US Post Office to be more cost effective than the for-profit providers.
Tip #5: Open a New Checking and Savings Account
As part of establishing your financial independence, it's a good idea to open new checking and savings accounts in your name only.
You don’t need to deposit a ton of money, or start using them right away, but there will come a time once your divorce is over that you’ll need a place to deposit your share of the funds contained in any joint accounts, that you received in your divorce settlement.
Pro Tip: While big banks certainly have their advantages, I’m a fan of credit unions. I find they’re not only more cost-effective, but typically offer more personalized service.
Tip #6: Open New Credit Cards in Your Name Only
Just like with checking and savings accounts, it's wise to open new credit card(s) exclusively in your name.
But do not use the credit cards until your divorce is final.
Because you’ll need to pay for any items you put on your new credit card, and you’ll most likely be using marital funds to do so, it can be seen by your spouse as a breach of trust.
Pro Tip: When applying for a credit card, there is nothing wrong with reporting your total household income. Doing so increases the chances you’ll be granted a higher credit limit, than if you simply reported your individual income (which, if you're not currently working, may be $0).
Tip #7: Begin the Search for Divorce Professionals
Preparing for a divorce as a woman involves several crucial steps, but selecting the right divorce professional is arguably the most critical decision you'll make.
The professional and method you choose will significantly influence the outcome of your divorce.
Before beginning your search, it's essential to understand the available divorce options. Your choice among these options will determine the type of divorce professional you'll need to engage.
Pro Tip: To learn about the 5 divorce options, read our article: The 5 Divorce Options and How to Choose the One Right for You.
Tip #8: Take an Inventory of All Personal Property
During divorce proceedings, some spouses may attempt to hide or sell their partner's personal belongings, wrongly claiming ownership based on having paid for the items.
This misconception needs to be addressed: paying for an item doesn't grant unilateral rights to dispose of it during a divorce.
To protect yourself:
- Create a video inventory of your personal property with a witness present.
- Include valuable items such as jewelry, electronics, and family heirlooms.
- Upload the video to a cloud-based service to establish a date and time stamp.
- If possible, create a document detailing each item's value or replacement cost.
This precaution provides evidence of ownership and can be invaluable if disputes arise over personal property during the divorce process.
Tip #9: Investigate Insurance Coverage
Medical
After your divorce is finalized, you'll likely lose access to health insurance provided by your spouse's plan. So it will be necessary at that time to secure new coverage for yourself.
Options to consider:
- Employer-provided insurance (if available)
- Individual plans through the Health Insurance Marketplace
Visit https://www.healthcare.gov/ to explore marketplace options. Divorce is a qualifying life event, enabling you to enroll in new coverage outside a plan's standard open enrollment period. This means you can obtain coverage immediately after your divorce, regardless of the time of year.
Automobile
You’ll also want to reach out to your automobile insurance provider to get rates and/or apply for your own coverage.
Many individuals are surprised to find out that just because they had a family plan with their spouse, they may not automatically qualify to remain with their current insurance carrier. And even if they can, their rate may be much higher than it was when part of the family plan.
Pro Tip: Shop for insurance early on in the divorce process! You’d be surprised at how long it might take to obtain rates, apply for coverage, and decide what provider to go with.
Tip #10: Create and/or Update Your Resume
Maybe you’re already working outside the home and have a job you like. Or you’re working inside the home and haven’t given much thought about returning to the workforce.
Either way, it’s a good idea to update your resume. Or create one if you don’t currently have one.
Pro Tip: Many community colleges offer resume and cover letter writing workshops for a very reasonable price. You might also consider working with a career coach who may offer resume writing services.
Preparing for Divorce as a Woman?
The choices you make before you start your divorce will likely set the tone for how the entire process will unfold for you and your children.
And how peaceful, fair, child-focused and cost-effective your divorce will (or won't) be.
So you're smart to take the time to get educated first.
And our online course will help you do just that!
Learn More
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